Swing Shot: surprisingly chill
Why is there no one in line for this ride, ever? There’s never a wait, yet there are always people riding it. It may look scary, but Swing Shot is so relaxing (although a little loud if you’re ever watching it and not actively on the ride), and has such a nice, controlled risk. Manufactured by S&S Worldwide, it first began operating in 2006. It swings back and forth, towering over the walkway and the line area. I love this ride with all my heart. I would want my funeral to take place on the Swing Shot. Every time I ride I feel so happy ... it’s just like a cradle for me.
If you enjoy fast rides and being thrown around at maximum G-force, this is genuinely the ride for you. With catchy music playing the entire time and caricatures of musicians eyeing you as your bones become mush, this ride is most definitely an experience. Musik Express was manufactured by Mack Rides and first began operation in 1987 at Kennywood. It still operates to this day, and just like the feeling you get when you’re experiencing the ride for yourself, shows no signs of stopping.
CP photo by John Colombo
The Thunderbolt wooden roller coaster at Kennywood Park
This is a controversial pick. Could Thunderbolt really be called underrated? I think yes. I’ve never met anyone who proclaimed Thunderbolt as their favorite ride at Kennywood, as it’s usually overshadowed by Phantom’s Revenge. It was originally built and designed by John A. Miller (who gave us Jack Rabbit and Racer as well) and opened in 1924 under the name Pippin. It was later renovated in 1968, which involved a major track expansion designed by Andy Vettel. This is sort of a relief considering the vast majority of Miller-made coasters shut down several decades ago, but our three keep chugging along. Kind of worrisome but let's not think about it! The Old Mill: no one's nightmare
Hear me out. I’m aware that everyone knows of the Old Mill, especially when it operated as Garfield’s Nightmare (courtesy of Defunctland.) As is the case with Thunderbolt, few of us rave about this ride. But maybe we should? It has a super reasonable wait time, has maintained (or at least reinstated) that old-school "tunnel of love" vibe, plus, it has blacklights! Who doesn’t love seeing everything glow? It’s such a nice, small joy to see your shoelaces and shirts light up. Not to mention, it's very relaxing, and the perfect way, I think, to finish off your otherwise wild Kennywood day.
Gran Prix bumper cars: destructive therapy
My money says you haven't ridden this one in a while, and I think I know why. In your elementary school years, any time you had the chance to get behind the wheel of a car, it was a thrill. But once you got your driver's license, that novelty quickly wore off, and you probably haven't taken a turn on the old bumper cars in quite a few summers.
But here's the thing: All the decorum you have to maintain while driving your real car isn't required on the bumper cars, so you can take out all your road rage fantasies on the poor fools who get in the ring with you. Go full Towanda and consider it a catharsis. You'll feel great afterwards!
Honorable mention for the bragging rights: Sky Coaster
(No, not the Sky Rocket.) The Sky Coaster is that big metal arch you see in the middle of the park, right above that very, very shallow lake. I don't count this one a ride; it's more of an experience. Even so, it deserves a mention. Not everyone is brave enough to try this one out, but if you do, you're forever anointed with a certain Kennywood cred.
If you've never done it, here's how it goes: You get strapped to a bungee cord, and then hauled up way up in the sky. You then pull a little string on your jacket and plummet straight down. The cord will then catch you, and you'll swing back and forth across the lake. I've tried this about three times in my life, and each time I thought I was going to die. I didn't! Take it from me, if you wanna see your life flash before your eyes, this is the go-to thing to do at the park.
