Power-ranking the Pirates' 2024 walkup music

The Pirates are back. PNC Park is once again reverberating with cheers and heckling. For the first time since 1983, the Buccos went 5-0 to start the season and had been jockeying with the Brewers and Cubs at the top of the N.L. Central until their recent skid. With Cutch back, Bryan Reynolds locked down, and Oneil Cruz healthy, the team has begun a critical home series versus Milwaukee that could determine whether the Buccos can get back in control or will spend the season battling to stay over .500.

We're ignoring all that for today at Pittsburgh City Paper — instead, I'm here to talk walkup music.

Nearly every Pirate has selected at least one walkup song this year. Regardless of whether Pittsburgh celebrates Buctober again or spends another season falling apart in front of a few thousand diehards, these tracks will blare from PNC Park's PA system all summer long ahead of players' home-run exploits and pitching woes alike.

Walkup songs for pitchers and batters became a staple after piped-in songs started supplanting organists in the 1970s. Pop-culture touchstones such as Ricky Vaughan's "Wild Thing" in Major League, combined with new stadiums boasting bigger, better sound systems, cemented the walkup song as a way for home teams to introduce their stars. With ballparks more screen-and-speaker-focused than ever in 2024, walkup music is at the zenith of its power. Players including the Mets' Edwin Díaz and former Cleveland Guardian Oscar Gonzalez have even made national news for their song selections.

The Pirates provided City Paper with a list of 30 players' walkup songs. Four players don't have one specified, while two have a primary and a backup — I'll just be considering those players' number-one choices here. I'm looking for walkup music that 1) will excite fans, 2) is original, and 3) is enjoyable on its own.

What follows is a thorough, scientific, fact-based ranking of these songs from worst to first that is in no way the product of one single writer's vibe check. To the list!

26. Morgan Wallen – "Man Made a Bar" (Bryan Reynolds, LF)

Coming in last is outfielder Bryan Reynolds, who chose the same song he had in 2023. Sorry, Bry Guy, but this ain't it. Morgan Wallen has a history of racism and immaturity, and for some Pittsburghers — including the controversial artist's fans — his main local claim to fame so far is starting a porta-potty fight at the ballpark. Here's hoping Bryan avoids similar ignominy over the next seven years of his contract. Grade: F

25. Don Toliver – "Embarrassed" feat. Travis Scott (Roansy Contreras, P)

This song is just way too languid and chill to be walkup music. Save it for the locker room after an L. Grade: D-

24. Gunna – "Richard Millie Plain" (Ke'Bryan Hayes, 3B)

This is another song that, despite being about living large, has a beat and delivery that just make it feel kind of sad. Grade: D

23. Wiz Khalifa & Empire of the Sun – "The Thrill" (Mitch Keller, P)

Not gonna lie, I really hate this song and the original it's based on, but I'll throw a plus on here because Wiz is local. Grade: D+

22. Brantley Gilbert – "Take It Outside" (Joey Bart, C)

While this song has some all-American, ass-kicking vibes, it ultimately feels like the best place for it would be in an Army recruitment ad or pickup truck commercial. Grade: C-

21. Chapa La Voz Del Patio – "Benediciones" (Luiz Ortiz, P)

This song is perhaps a tribute to Ortiz's family given the touching video, which is sweet, but as walkup music, this just feels a little too introspective and midtempo. Grade: C-

20. Jeezy – "Soul Survivor" feat. Akon (Colin Holderman, P)

Colin Holderman was born in 1995, so he was 10 when this song came out. The fact that "Soul Survivor" is nearly 20 years old, combined with the fact that Holderman is forced to use the clean version, takes some of the edge off — it's giving school dance for me. Grade: C

19. Crowder – "Good God Almighty" (Jack Suwinski, LF)

This straight-down-the-middle Christian rock song is upbeat, motivational — and nearly 100% likely to be played in a van with broken A.C. on the way to Vacation Bible School. Maybe Suwinski is using it as an invocation while he tries to whiff less in 2024, but it doesn't seem to be working very well. Grade: C

18. Chris Stapleton – "White Horse" (Rowdy Tellez, 1B)

We've reached the part of the list where this starts to get tricky. "White Horse" is genuinely a good song powered by Stapleton's distinctive voice and twanging guitar. The issue here is the song's slower build — in the 30 seconds it takes Tellez to get into the box, fans are unlikely to hear "White Horse" really kick into gear. It would rank higher for me if Tellez had the team start it 33 seconds in. Grade: C+

17. Sublime – "Doin' Time" (Alika Williams, SS)

Sublime is fun and chill, and Williams has been pushing his case in the utility role. This is a great summertime jam, though the fact that it maybe implies Williams is "doin' time" in Pittsburgh knocks a bit off my overall grade. Grade: B-

16. Orquesta Magia Caribeña Federico Junior – "Mi Querencia" (Martín Pérez, P)

This is a fun and tantalizingly danceable song that really brings the Venezuela vibes. Still, it sounds a bit more like cantina music than walkup music for a rotation mainstay. Grade: B-

15. Brothers Osborne – "Skeletons" (Hunter Stratton, P)

A solid country song for a solid country pitcher. This song has the same slow-build issue as the No. 18 Stapleton song, but Stratton has a bit more time on his side as a pitcher for the Brothers Osborne to get feet stomping. Grade: B

14. Celia Cruz – "La Vida Es Un Carnival" (Aroldis Chapman, P)

Leaving aside Aroldis Chapman's … worrying proclivities off the field, this song is bombastic, fun, and should get yinzers salsaing through the concourse in the top of the 8th. Grade: B

13. Whatuprg – "Praise!" (Michael A. Taylor, CF)

This faith-driven rap song will no doubt sound great over the loudspeakers while remaining curse-free and family-friendly. "Praise!" is perfectly cromulent walkup music if nothing more. Grade: B+

12. Rita Ora – "Only Want You" Sam Feldt Remix (Ryan Borucki, P)

Uplifting, summery, and a little wistful, "Only Want You" is enjoyable if a little shallow. If you're looking for killer songwriting, look elsewhere, but it's got a good rhythm. That said, it might be a while before we hear this one as Borucki is currently on the IL. Grade: B+

11. Lynyrd Skynyrd – "Free Bird" (Henry Davis, C)

Classics are classics for a reason, even if "Free Bird" is extremely long for a walkup jam. You could pick several different sections of this song with several different results, but Davis has stuck to his guns, reusing the part of the tune he played before last year's at-bats. Grade: B+

10. Eladio Carrion – "RKO" (Oneil Cruz, SS)

With its heavy low end and baseball-themed music video, "RKO" is a great fit for a walkup song, though Eladio Carrion doesn't do much to distinguish himself from other Spanish-language pop. Still, if the pattern holds, this song is likely to precede some of the Pirates' most spectacular hitting in years. Grade: A-

9. Mac Miller – "Brand Name" (Marco Gonzales, P)

It's great to see some local flavor on this list, and "Brand Name" really captures the woozy joy of drinking sweating beers in the bleachers section. The only downside to this track is the way its lyrics predict Mac Miller's untimely demise. RIP to a Pittsburgh legend. Grade: A-

8. Quinn XCII – "Another Day in Paradise" (Josh Fleming, P)

Many of the Pirates opted for summery pop tunes for their walkup music, and Josh Fleming picked possibly the best of the bunch in that category. "Another Day in Paradise" is standard pop but with both strong vocals and a grooving beat, and both the title and lyrics convey a sense of optimism and gratitude that Pittsburgh fans are once again daring to share with the team. Grade: A-

7. Childish Gambino – "Redbone" (Connor Joe, RF)

This sneaky hit makes for sneakily good walkup music. It's funky, laced through with vocals reminiscent of a ’70s soul jam, and undergirded by squelching bass — this is an awesome song to soundtrack the return of the boys of summer, even if it's a little slow compared to tracks higher up this list. Grade: A

6. Mac Miller – "Blue World" (Jared Jones, P)

The second Mac Miller track on this list stands out for its hypnotizing beat. This song feels as quintessentially Mac as "Brand Name," but the stuttering rhythm and arena-sized vibe kicks this up just a notch. Good on the Buccos for squeezing local artists into this season's walkup music! Grade: A

5. AC/DC – "Thunderstruck" (Ryder Ryan, P)

THUN-DER! Hell yeah. No notes. Grade: A

4. Myke Towers – "Hora Cero" (Edward Olivares, RF)

Big, catchy, confrontational. This reggaeton racket is a bop that's tailor-made for walkup music. Grade: A

3. Styx – "Renegade" (David Bednar, P)

Mars' David Bednar knows his audience. This is a great song you can practically hear being sung in thick Pittsburghese ("from the lawng arm of dah lawwwww…"). "Renegade" makes for an iconic late-inning trip out of the bullpen — so far for Bednar, unfortunately, it's also been the prelude to some renegade command and hometown booing. Grade: A

2. Jimmy Eat World – "The Sweetness" (Jared Triolo, 2B)

Jimmy Eat World's absolute anthem is full-throttle from the moment you press play and hits immaculately as a late-inning rallying cry. (This is saying nothing of the fact that Bleed American as a whole is a low-key front-to-backer.) The earnest vocals, grungy guitars, and driving drumbeat make this song a chill-inducing classic regardless, but it translates perfectly to the stadium environment. Were it not for No. 1, this just might be the Pirates' best walkup song overall. Grade: A+

1. Andy Mineo – "I Ain't Done" BEAM Version (Andrew McCutchen, CF)

Wouldn't you know it, the best Pirate has the best song. This Christian rap banger (can't believe I just wrote that) has an absolutely massive bassline that feels like the perfect rejoinder to Cutch's preseason Wolf of Wall Street comeback announcement. "I Ain't Done" is a declaration of an incomplete mission and lends itself perfectly to slow-mo reels of No. 22 stepping into the box before launching a dinger into the Allegheny. Propulsive bass, defiant lyrics, plus the fact that this wonderful man not only wants to be a Pirate and is also good — but I said we'd stick to music. As a walkup track, this crushes. Grade: A+

Correction: This article has been updated to note that Chapman pitches in the top of innings at home and has typically worked in the 8th inning while Bednar remains the Pittsburgh closer.