We spend a lot of time driving west to visit family, and after a while, the sheer monotony of the Northern Ohio landscape starts to do weird things to my brain. Passing cruelly named Ohio towns like Painesville and Boardman, we invented a game called “Think of the most Ohio names for towns that you can.”
Flatsville Heights, East Borington, Futilesville, McRib Creek, Upper Blandington, Horizontal Hills Estates, Jiffy Lube Meadows, etc.
But Ohio is a really big place, and there are some parts of it that I like (Cleveland’s downtown and Ohio City neighborhoods, for example). The point is that I’m not really an objective observer of anything. I just base my observations on vibes or whatever, like most people.
Plenty of people (like most of my family) find the topographical weirdness of Pittsburgh suspiciously difficult and vaguely threatening, preferring the predictable, grid-like orderliness of the flatlands. And of course, many people find the concept of living in the city — any city — repellent for any number of reasons.
Finding a place to live is a really big decision, made up of a lot of cumulative little decisions. The real task is to first figure out what you value, what you don’t, and what you can live without. If there’s a point to this column, it’s this: don’t base your choice of where to live on what other people think you should want. If popular wisdom demands that you desire a three-car garage and a lawn that you could land a helicopter on, you’re allowed to ask, “Do I really, though?” If you still like that weird little house built into a hillside in a transitional neighborhood … well, maybe it was put there for you to find.
NORTH SIDE
For sale: 1425 Adams St., Manchester, $245,000
Back in the Allegheny City days 100+ years ago, before the concrete blade of Rt. 65 sliced through it, Manchester must have been a beauty. I mean, it still is — streets like Beech Ave. are a symphony in brick and stone, fine-grained urbanism and craftsmanship lost to the ages. That said, it’s also a fairly weird place with lots of empty lots, homes too far gone to restore, and anomalous ‘70s/’80s ranch houses that seem to have taken a wrong turn on their way to Shaler. Most of the low-hanging fruit are long gone — now painstakingly restored and selling for $1 million or more. Still, every rule has its exceptions, and there are a few, like this red brick rowhome built in 1897.
Nowadays, we look at those magnificently adorned windows and entrances and think, “Wow, why can’t we build anything that looks this good anymore?” Yinzers in the ‘60s and ’70s looked at this and were like, “Damn, are you sure there’s no way to slap an aluminum awning on this thing?” Tastes change, then change again, and sometimes change back. This third-floor spot is small (700 square feet), but it’s flat and close to job centers and the North Side’s absurd panoply of amenities, from museums, to stadia … to, uh, aviaries.
For sale: 4122 Beehner Rd., Greenfield, $339,000
Fifteen years ago, my Greenfield neighbors were mostly retired steelworkers and elderly Russian and Ukrainian Jews who had fled the Soviet Union. Now, it’s all puppies and babies and Little Free Libraries. Both eras were great. However, only one group can tell you how to clean up an accidental gasoline spill in your trunk, and it isn’t the puppies and babies. This price would have been laughably high back then, but now seems about right. That giant shaded front porch (with no aluminum!) and the vast wooden deck out back are solid selling points, but there’s also a useful detached two-car garage out back for the automotively-inclined.
This is like that apartment in Paris that had been locked since World War II, recently reopened for an unexpected glimpse into a forgotten age. Except that here, that forgotten age was me in my ‘20s. Anyone whose idea of decor includes hundreds of records, out-of-season Christmas lights, and punk rock and metal posters (the Swans!) is okay in my book. Oh, and $750 a month? The dream of the early 2000s is alive in Pittsburgh.
MORNINGSIDE
For sale: 1643 Duffield St., Morningside, $249,900
Just think — this sturdy little brick house in Morningside shares the same big backyard (Highland Park) with the King Estate, an elegant, ornate $3 million birthday cake of robber-baron romance that better come with at least a few ghosts for that price. This 1930 home comes with three bedrooms, hardwood floors and an orange Creamsicle-colored dining room that’s surprisingly easy on the eyes.
For rent: 1743 Chislett St., Apt. 2, Morningside, $1,229/month
This appears to be an above-the-storefront apartment in Morningside’s tiny business district. Morningside is a bit overlooked between Lawrenceville and Highland Park, but it’s quiet and densely populated enough to support both a superior neighborhood bar like the Bulldog Pub and a sterling coffee/pastry place, Ka-Fair.
