Comedian Judah Friedlander is just plain better than you. | Theater | Pittsburgh | Pittsburgh City Paper

Comedian Judah Friedlander is just plain better than you.

You'd think that being world champion is a full-time job. But Judah Friedlander, who's held the title for over a decade, manages to star in films, appear in NBC's 30 Rock, and perform at comedy clubs around the country. He visits The Improv for three nights starting Thu., April 19.

What does being a world champion mean to you?

I'm just a winner. The people know I'm the world champion and they expect a certain amount of greatness and I deliver it.

Is there only one world champion?

I'm it. People often say, "You're a world champion." I'm the world champion.

Does every person have the potential to be a world champion?

A lot of people have it in them to come in second place, be a runner-up or a quarter-finalist. Theoretically, people have it in them to be the world champion, but I've held the title for over a decade and no one's really come close.

What can people do to bring out their inner champions?

They need to believe in themselves, in America, and keep training. They need to visualize it.

How do you train?

I work out nine hours a day. I shoulder-press 650 pounds while running on the treadmill at level 10 at the steepest incline, and my treadmill has a hurdle on it right in the middle, so I've got to run, leap over it, land, slide under it, and it's all under water too. That keeps me in pretty good shape.

What do you eat?

Whatever I want. I bang about 20 chicks a day and that keeps me in good shape, too.

How much sleep do you get?

Some nights I'll do 20 minutes and some nights I'll do 10 hours.

Is your brain as strong as your muscles?

My brain's incredibly strong, although it may not be the smartest. It's incredibly strong. Reading and math are probably my only two weaknesses. And cleanliness.

So if someone wanted to take you down, how could they do that?

I'm still trying to figure out how someone could do it. I've tried to fight myself just to see what other people were up against, but it was a draw. They had computers from Russia and Japan analyze me and no one's come up with anything.

In Godzilla, when they wanted to take down the giant lizard, they made a robotic Godzilla.

I have a Judahbot. I sell it on my Web site. It's a million dollars and it's excellent. It tried to take me on, but it can't beat me. It could probably kick anyone else's ass, but a copy of a copy is never as good as the original. And we learned that in Godzilla also.

Judah Friedlander Thu., April 19 -Sun., April 21. The Improv, 166 E. Bridge St., The Waterfront, W. Homestead. $15. 412-462-5233 or

Comedian Judah Friedlander is just plain better than you.
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