Where do you want to live? Like, what’s your ideal place?
I’d like to live in a ramshackle 13th-century Scottish castle, deep off the grid in the Canadian Rockies — except with Major League Baseball nearby.
That’s a pretty stupid thing to want. Sorry. There were robber barons in the Gilded Age who stole entire medieval buildings and shipped them to the New World (Carnegie probably thought about this a lot), but it was a bad idea then, and a bad idea now.
So, the other option is to compromise. Hey, in Pittsburgh we have the kind of rugged, verdant topography that made early Scotch-Irish settlers’ hearts soar, and we have Major League Baseball (well, the Pirates). I can also afford to live here (this is key). It looks like this place will have to do for now.
Compromise — it’s not the secret to happiness, but it’ll get you in the ballpark. The perfect place for you may exist in reality, or it may not. But sometimes, the magic words are simply, “eh, close enough.” I’m pretty happy here, after all.
NORTH SIDE
For sale: 1156 Termon Ave., Brighton Heights, $242,500
The Roaring ‘20s kind of hit the sweet spot for housing in Pittsburgh. Not living next to the mill was suddenly an option (for some), and the rise of the automobile hadn’t yet wrecked the dense webs of streetcar lines and local retail in favor of parkways and parking lots. Again, Brighton Heights just keeps coming up with reasonably priced, well-built brick houses like this three-bedroom example from 1920. It even has a garage but doesn’t make it the focal point of the house.
There was a time when these apartment towers were basically unaffiliated dorms for the Art Institute and other schools, and all of Allegheny Center was a spooky dead-mall ghost town, with the occasional random coffee kiosk or a Wendy’s being the only signs of life. Now, it still feels empty; it’s huge, and built in is that extra-cold and alienating mid-century mall style. But it’s somehow also a thriving campus for tech firms and banks. Some of these apartments are still tiny (415 square feet, for example), but that's what makes them affordable-ish. Plus, there’s a rooftop patio, nice common rooms, and porches with big city views.
UPTOWN
For sale: 2010 Fifth Ave. #2, Uptown, $325,000
There a lot of things being built today that aren’t going to look so great in a few decades, or less. However, this place detours slightly from omnipresent “shipping container chic” trend; perhaps it’s the incongruous soft blue hue, or the fact that its sheer newness draws the eye in a neighborhood that still has too many long-abandoned brick homes. In general, a little architectural variety tends to maintain visual interest in a block, even when it doesn’t seem to fit. A whole neighborhood of these would seem oppressive, but just one is kind of neat — and you kind of want to see what kind of space-age future-Yinzer steps out.
For rent: 1709 Fifth Ave., Uptown, $1,455/month
Uptown might be the neighborhood that makes the least sense in Pittsburgh — a place that’s too slippery to let any single narrative adhere to it for long. I lived there for six years and can’t figure it out. Some blocks (like most of Forbes Ave.) are full of boarded-up houses and derelict storefronts, and have been that way for decades. Others feature gigantic hospitals, brand-new skyscrapers, hockey arenas, new medical schools — just a ridiculous profusion of institutions, amenities, and job centers. Quite a few big bets on a revival have come and gone. This is on the expensive side for the neighborhood, to be sure, but it’s an attractive building that respects Fifth Ave.’s sturdy brick character and streetwall, and is finally bringing some new retail to the neighborhood: Redhawk Coffee and Market, opening soon.
GREENFIELD
For sale: 4012 Windsor St., Greenfield, $249,900
The fine print indicates that this place only part way through a major remodel. It looks fantastic from the outside, with a gigantic porch that lets you loom imperiously over your domain (which is mostly a steep staircase, and a stone-walled garage at street level). That black stone garage clearly has dreams about being a castle on a rugged, misty moor — and, well, dream away little stone garage. Maybe you’ll get there someday.
For rent: 501 Greenfield Ave., Greenfield, $950/month
Is living above an old-school “hole in the wall” Pittsburgh “dive bar” (their words; a dying breed) your idea of heaven … or something else? There’s an essay here about how exclusionary zoning — only allowing single-family houses in their rightful place — makes neighborhoods boring and unaffordable, but plenty of people have written that. Let’s just say, they aren’t building ‘em like this anymore, and that kind of sucks.
