Bar crawls are time-honored traditions in American drinking culture. The first typically occurred on your 21st birthday, when you were young and invincible. Your older friends probably drew up an intimidating list of watering holes and kept it going until you either gave up or puked. It didn’t matter, because at that age you were able to chug pitchers of cheap beer in a single gulp. The next day wasn’t an issue because you had the recovery time of a superhero. As you aged, though, these expeditions became something you did for charity, when your friends visited your city or when your co-workers harassed you into it. Here at City Paper, I am that co-worker and I have no shame.
The goal of this particular adventure was to cover as much ground — physically and culturally — as we could in one day. There are dozens of bars that could (and maybe should) have been included on this list, but our collective livers, the limits of the space/time continuum, and things as simple as road construction or incompatible hours caused us to fall short of perfection. However, the resulting list is a collection of neighborhood bars, cocktail lounges, breweries and dives throughout Pittsburgh that have stolen our hearts in one way or another.
Armed with a company credit card, a list of questions, an artist, a designated driver, five game staff members and a rather cramped SUV, we set out to give you a guide for your next night out.
Our first stop was Villa Reale, a bar behind our building where CP staffers have been gathering over drinks (never during working hours, of course) for years.
Interactive Bar Crawl Map
Bar Crawl Locations
Time: 2:30 p.m.
Place: Villa Reale, 628 Smithfield St., Downtown
Drink: Bombay gin and tonic with lime
Who’s here: Everyone and their grandmother: Bus commuters, the homeless, expensively dressed businessmen, yinzers and City Paper staffers frequent this dive with its own clandestine alley entrance.
Entertainment: The clientele and the friendly bartenders will make sure you can count on at least one unexpected conversation.
Drink options: Well to mid-shelf liquor and domestic beers. Blue Moon is as “craft” as it gets.
Snacks: You’re in luck since this bar is in the back of a pizza shop. To complete the experience, grab a soft-serve cone on your way to the bus.
Time: 3 p.m.
Place: James Street Gastropub and Speakeasy, 4224 Foreland St., North Side
Drink: Butler Brown Ale, Reclamation Brewing Company, Butler
Who to bring: Jazz lovers or a first date.
Entertainment: The Ballroom and Speakeasy host intimate performances of acoustic, jazz and blues music most nights of the week. Every other Sunday, get your kicks at the popular drag brunch.
Special Features: Once a genuine Prohibition-era speakeasy, and then a secret socialist gathering place, the space has history. The original hand-carved bar in the dining room was moved down from the ballroom.
Time: 3:45 p.m.
Place: Smallman Galley, 54 21st St., Strip District
Drink: Bobby Bonilla’s Tortillas (a tortilla-chip-infused Del Maguey Vida, lime and agave cocktail, served with a side of chips)
Ambiance: The hippest cafeteria you’ve ever been in. Keywords: exposed brick.
Thirst Quenchers: The cocktail menu tiptoes into the experimental and embodies a theme. The Bobby Bonilla’s Tortillas is on its current Pittsburgh Pirates-themed menu, along with the Dock LSD, named after the former Pirates pitcher Dock Ellis, who once threw a no-hitter while high on acid. The beer list stocks only Pennsylvania brews.
Snacks: Got the drunchies (drunk munchies)? Choose between four restaurants all in the same space, serving a wide array of dishes.
Time: 4:10 p.m.
Place: Gooski’s, 3117 Brereton St., Polish Hill
Drink: Iron City
Who to bring: Your pals, out-of-towners looking for grit
Bar games: Pinball, pingpong, pool and poker machines adorned with cartoons of sexy ladies
Snacks: Nine flavors of highly regarded wings, plus pierogies. Or smoke instead, since you can buy packs from what appears to be one of the city’s last cigarette-vending machines.
Entertainment: This is where Gooksi’s really shines. Shows, mostly of the rock and punk variety, happen two or three nights a week on a small stage with a giant American flag behind it.
Special features: The posted bar rules, which are: “Know what you want. Have your money ready. Don’t make us kill you. P.S. No making out at the bar. Crying at the bar is also forbidden. If you bring someone here, you’re responsible for them. If they fuck up, you’re to blame.”
Time: 4:40 p.m.
Place: Butterjoint, 214 N. Craig St., Oakland
Drink: Down to Earth Session Ale, 21st Amendment Brewery, San Francisco
Ambiance: This bar adjoins Legume’s dining room and is of the city’s more intimate, cozy places to have a drink. (On cold winter nights, it’s a warmly lit haven where time seems irrelevant.) The feeling of intimacy extends to the other patrons, and you’ll often find yourself in conversation with friendly strangers. Typically busy.
Thirst Quenchers: A well-curated cocktail list of both in-house creations and classics. Beers are all American-made craft brews, including popular beers from regional breweries. Wine is available by the glass.
Weirdest thing overheard by the bartender: “This burger is more expensive than you are,” from an older man to his female companion, says bar manager Eric Werner.
Time: 5:30 p.m.
Place: Lou’s Little Corner Bar, 4924 Liberty Ave., Bloomfield
Drink: Blue Moon Belgian White, Blue Moon Brewing Co., Golden, Colo.
Ambiance: A classic yinzer dive with a back porch that feels like it’s in your own yard. The service is incredibly friendly, and so are the regulars.
Who to bring: Your closest friends.
Happy Hour: 5-7 p.m. Monday through Friday, domestic beers are $2.50 and 16-ounce PBRs are $2.
Weirdest thing overheard by the bartender: “Picture me with my ass in the air smeared in Vaseline.”
Time: 6:15 p.m.
Place: Blue Moon, 5115 Butler St., Lawrenceville
Drink: Whiskey and soda
Type of bar: “It’s for everyone, no matter who you are,” says bartender Rob Dunham. The decor ranges from multi-colored lights and a back bar donated from a previous owner’s castle to a caged, life-size demon dummy with a giant penis.
Specialty drinks: The Strong Island, Blue Moon’s version of Long Island Ice Tea
Happy Hour: Everyday 7 to 9 p.m., it’s $1 off all drinks.
Entertainment: Friday karaoke, Saturday drag shows, Tuesday show-tune night and Wednesdays are open stage. Best of all? No cover charge.
Time: 6:45 p.m.
Place: The Allegheny Wine Mixer, 5326 Butler St., Lawrenceville
Drink: A bottle of Gurrieri Vini La Favola “Fravolato,” a dry medium-bodied red wine from Sicily
Ambiance: This is a wine bar that defies pretension by making you feel classy and welcome from the moment you walk in the door. Silly art adorns the walls, while delicious wine and cocktails fill the menu.
Who to bring: Your cool parents.
Special features: AWM changes its regional wine focus with the seasons. Last winter was all about Portuguese wine, and spring has moved on to Sicily. It’s an excellent way to see what a country has to offer.
Snacks: High-quality cheese, charcuterie and chocolates galore
Time: 7:30 p.m.
Place: Kelly’s Bar & Lounge, 6012 Centre Ave., East Liberty
Drink: A Rusty Nail, the daily special cocktail
Who’s here: Industry professionals, couples and larger groups ranging in age from mid-20s to mid-50s. There are plenty of regulars.
Happy Hour: Monday through Friday, 5-7 p.m., with a rotating $4 daily cocktail special
Special features: An Art Deco ambiance that’s comforting and familial, and a back patio perfect for summer drinking
Snacks: The mac-and-cheese is famous and there’s also other slightly refined, but not frilly, pub grub.
Smoking: Only outside
Time: 8:45 p.m.
Place: Hidden Harbor, 1708 Shady Ave., Squirrel Hill.
Drink: Milk Punch, a rum-based cocktail
Type of bar: Tiki!
Who’s here: People who want to have a drinking experience instead of just a drink. Anyone seeking novelty.
Noise level: Conversation-level noise with a reggae background
Special features: Weird Science Wednesdays that see the bartenders whip up “weird molecular and science-forward takes on tiki cocktails.”
Weirdest thing overheard by the bartender: “I’m a part time apiarist and a full-time chiropractor.”
Time: 9:30 p.m.
Place: Brew Gentlemen Beer Company, 512 Braddock Ave., Braddock.
Drink: Loose Seal Spring Saison, Brew Gentlemen Beer Company, Braddock
Ambiance: Clean, functional, modern, low key
Who to bring: Anyone who is a Pittsburgh-beer enthusiast. Your dog.
Happy Hour: Nope, but they are always releasing new beers.
Special features: The bar hosts food-truck round-ups and yoga classes. Food trucks often stop by to provide the snacks for the evening. Franktuary was serving up dogs on the night we visited.
Weirdest thing overheard by the bartender? “So this drunk girl from the City Paper asked me what the weirdest thing I’d ever overheard was.”
This article appears in Jun 8-14, 2016.
Is this bar crawl happening this Saturday 6/11/16?
I really like D.J. Coffman’s drawings.