Clearly, we’ve all got bigger problems to worry about, but one thing (among many) that bothers me right now is that my kid is finally done trick-or-treating. Hey, we all have to hang up the pillowcase at some point, but he’s suddenly a teenager and, well, teenage boys are the last people you want to see at your door on Halloween.
The ending of childhood rituals is one thing. But more importantly, I had no endless pile of packaged corn syrup and low-grade choco-product this year!
No, I didn’t just go buy it. That’s undignified, and, well, cheating.
I can’t speak for the rest of the city, but our little corner of the world — the Greenfield/Squirrel Hill metroplex — is pretty much paradise for trick-or-treaters.
There are some obvious reasons why. First, there are lots of houses close together (especially in Greenfield), and it’s easy to walk to a lot of them in a short period of time — an underrated byproduct of walkable neighborhoods! People walk and bike all the time, not just on Halloween, and the short-block grids don’t let cars blast through at top speed. In the suburbs where I grew up — optimized for cars instead of people — Halloween was the one night of the year where people (mostly) slowed down.
Plus, people are just crazy about Halloween around here, as evidenced by the over-the-top decorations. We’ve got a two-story werewolf and another house with skeletons climbing the walls and peeking in the windows, and that’s just one block of one street.
The only downside is that the hills are very steep, and the cutest little trick-or-treaters need to be pretty sturdy to make it all the way up. I usually let them take as much candy as they want as a reward. As of last night, that’s my kid’s job now (sob).
For sale: 406 Overbrook Blvd., Carrick, $159,900.
If I can point out some of the less-loved homes and neighborhoods in Pittsburgh, and have someone idly think, “I could live there,” then, well, that works for me. This house is one of those, with a triangles-within-triangles situation that looks like a kindergartner drew it, which is awesome, because sometimes a house should look like a house. Plus, it was built in 1930, so you know it’s seen some Super Bowls as well as hard times. Look inside, though, and it looks like it was built last week — modern, minimalist, understated. That’s not an easy trick to pull off.
For rent: 345 S. Aiken St., 1,500/month. Bloomfield.
There was a time, many elections ago, when a Republican volunteer claimed she was assaulted by a Black Obama voter who carved a “B” into her cheek in a rough part of Pittsburgh: Liberty Ave. in Bloomfield. She made it up (of course) but that didn’t keep credulous media from frothing at the mouth for a bit. The whole thing was stupid and deserved to be forgotten, though it’s worth noting that racist campaign chicanery isn’t exactly a new development. There was one small thing about it that was amusing, though. I remember the first crack in her story came from simply looking at the street. Do bad neighborhoods usually come with multiple Thai restaurants? At any rate, one of those Thai restaurants just announced it was closing, but Bloomfield is still a great neighborhood for food, with new places like Fet-Fisk and Nothingman among the most sought-after tables in town.
For sale: 115 Arch St., North Side, $299,000.
The Mexican War Streets on the North Side were built around the time of the Mexican War, 1846-48, and named after battles/generals in that war. I kind of assumed that most people knew about that, but I’ve heard people say, “Oh, that sounds dangerous.” Look, I’m sure that one of Pittsburgh’s loveliest, most historic neighborhoods has its share of disgruntled ghosts, but trust me, they’re just as pissed at parking on Steelers Sunday as any longtime local.
For rent: 628 Greenfield Ave., Greenfield, $1,050/month.
I kind of wish some little kid would come home to this house and happily toss his Halloween candy all over this monochromatic gray apartment, just to give it some color. That’s a pretty good price, especially for giving your kid the bottomless bounty of candy that is a Greenfield Halloween trick-or-treat.
For sale: 1231 Success St., North Side, $159,900.
If you’re living on Success St. in Pittsburgh, Pa., what does that mean? You won a playoff game for the first time in eight or nine years (who’s counting?). You got paid by the Pittsburgh Pirates, even though that was just about shutting up the fanbase so the team doesn’t have to invest in a big-time slugger. Instead of crypto, you invested in gold (bootleg Stillers t-shirts). The actual Success St. is located in the unlikely environs of California-Kirkbride. Who knew?
For tent: 2721 Cobden St., South Side Slopes, $1,400/month.
A bright blue house with a bright red porch. Not really a color combo we recognize around here (black and gold, please), but it sort of works. The siding is in good shape and the interior is a similar hue of blue, and very, very clean and bright. It’s high enough up the Slopes that you can probably see the fireworks at the Point, at least reflected in the glass of the skyscrapers Downtown.
This article appears in Oct 30 – Nov 5, 2024.
