Did you miss Alan Keyes’ big speech on the North Side this past weekend? You’re not alone: While the Tribune-Review‘s coverage estimates the crowd at “several thousand,” the Post-Gazette puts it at a more modest 1,500.

Which sort of sums up our plight as a country: Competing media outlets cover a political rally, but can’t even agree on how many people were there.

Anyway, you can watch Keyes’ speech for yourself by following these four links. Or you could, say, drive rusty nails into your gums. Your choice. But having sat through the full 40-minute experience — no need to thank me — I can tell you this speech is almost exactly what you’d expect.

It starts with Keyes comparing the Obama team to Al-Qaeda:

We have had foreign enemies who have sought to terrorize us with attacks, and we have domestic enemies who seek to terrorize us with economic collapse.

And works its way to a vision in which we are being led 

happily into the slaughter pens where we shall go from being proud citiziens of the United States, fearing no one but our God, to being the subjects of a government where we must fear its every shadow.

In the spirit of the day, Keyes was willing to make a nod to bipartisanship. Leaders in both parties, he said, were

walking us over the cliff where our Constitution is destroyed, where our economy is bankrupted, where our independence is forfeited, where our sovereignty as a people is no more.

Note the stirring cadence of those remarks. Keyes is a good speaker, despite his tendency to start waddling back and forth like an overexcited penguin for emphasis. He can effectively move from a conversational tone to a Voice of God bellow, and then drop down to a whisper, all within the space of a few minutes. 

The problem is, the guy is batshit nuts. I’m not just talking about garden-variety silliness. (For example,  Keyes spoke derisively of “educated [people] with fancy degrees” — even though he himself had been introduced as “Doctor Alan Keyes.”) I’m talking serious cognitive dissonance here.

Let’s recall that one week to the day before Keyes gave his little pep-talk, three Pittsburgh police officers were gunned down — apparently by a guy who thought the government was going to take away his guns. It is in this context, in this city, that Keyes chose to praise his audience as a group in which “every individual is an army empowered by their faith in God.”

I’m willing to bet that’s how many lone gunmen see themselves. Especially the ones who would admire this line from Keyes’ speech:

[N]ever as long as we have breath [will we] surrender the instruments with which we can defend [our] liberty against the depradations of a government no longer committed to it.  

Make no mistake: I’m not suggesting that Keyes is encouraging people to go shoot cops. (His political program, such as it is, seems to involve “throwing the bums out” — voting against every incumbent in 2010.) Nor would he be responsible if one of his audience later goes out and does just that. But Keyes talked quite a bit about how “liberty” wasn’t all about doing whatever you wanted — at least not when it applied to things like gay marriage. Maybe a word about the moral obligations of gun ownership would have been in order?

If you’re in a city still grieving from a terrible shooting, you might want to think these things through. If only to show you actually give a damn about the city you happened to parachute into that morning with your rantings. This is almost like Charlton Heston showing up in Littleton, Colorado to do the NRA “not from my cold, dead hands” shtick after the Columbine shootings.

The temptation is to say there’s something “chilling” about all this, but actually it’s sort of sad. The folks at Media Matters have posted footage from other recent “Tea Parties,” which pretty clearly shows what’s going on here. Despite the rhetoric, the real grievance these folks have isn’t that America has “lost its democracy.” It’s that these folks lost the last election. And they just can’t imagine how the hell that happened. Look at this guy, for example:

Uh, buddy? Sometimes a person gets elected even if you, personally, didn’t vote for him. That isn’t called “stealing” an election; it’s called “winning.” Aren’t you and your buddies the same folks who called Democrats “sore losers” and “whiners” back in 2000? What’s striking is the sense of entitlement here: If I can’t have my way, I’m going to take all my Mausers and go home. Where I will await the End Times. 

Keyes, to his credit, appeared to be slightly less delusional than some of his followers. His rhetoric, at least, seemed to acknowledge that that most Americans simply don’t agree with him or his audience:

We will have truly rediscovered our moral strength when we discover the strength that we find as we stand alone for what is right … [T]hough you bow your head beneath the weight of all that loneliness, when you lift it up, you shall be standing in the light of our Almighty God. 

Judging from the crowd response, it’s pretty obvious that this sense of isolation flatters the audience’s desire to be courageous. But it’s probably also helping to drive them nuts. As polling data suggests, Obama remains quite popular. And my guess is that if Obama becomes even more so, these folks will become more resentful. It’ll be bad for everyone if Obama fails, of course. But it will be terrible for these folks if he somehow succeeds. They won’t be able to wrap their minds around it.

Which is to say that maybe, just maybe, these folks aren’t feeling oppressed by their government. Maybe they’re feeling oppressed by their fellow Americans. 

This article appears in Apr 9-15, 2009.

E-mail Chris Potter about this post.

12 replies on “Keyes Shows up at the Wrong Door”

  1. well, it looks like dr.keyes struck a nerve. what if someone does not agree with you, well he must be crazy. you sir, should be glad we still have the right to free speech in this country. the one thing i love most about my country is. everyone has the right to be an idot. and sir you most happly prove it.

  2. The domestic enemies to whom Dr. Keyes referred were not just the Democrats. He excoriated the Republicans who led the charge towards socialism before the November election too. I’ve heard him put this in perspective many times in recent months. His analysis seems spot on to me. The main benefits of Keyes’ longstanding proposal to abolish the federal government’s authority to tax income have nothing to do with the economic benefits, but those economic benefits would still be so massive that the current ‘crisis’ would soon be but a blip in our history. These latest trillions did not need to be printed. Keyes knows it, and I’m glad that the American people have a chance to hear him on this and his many other God-fearing, liberty-loving, sovereignty-conserving proposals.

    Best wishes,

    Steve Schulin,
    Rockville, Maryland

    P.S. My wife and I had to show more birth documentation, to allow our children to be placed on the roster of a local little league team, than the Republican or Democratic parties had to provide to get their presidential nominees on the ballot in all the states. That not one of the U.S. epresentatives or U.S. Senators even raised the question of whether Barack Obama meets the Constitutional requirement to serve as President would be reason enough to agree with Keyes’ urging to ‘Throw the bums out’. Not one of the incumbents stood up for our Constitution.

  3. Greetings:

    Here are some facts regarding the April 11th Pennsylvania Tea Party at Allegheny Landing:

    – The Pennsylvania Tea Party on April 11th had an estimated attendance of 4000-5000 people. Care to see pictures?
    – The Pennsylvania Tea Party on April 11th had nothing to do with Tobacco Taxes (as some media reported), did not include Mr. Glen Meakem as a guest speaker (as some media reported), and, was neutral in any perceived attack on a particular party or politician (as per Dr. Keyes exceptional speech). One of the media’s story was so inaccurate that it was pulled approximately 12 hours after web publication. So much for integrity in reporting!

    So, it appears that one media outlet stated FACTS (Sunday Tribune Review – Front Page – Mr. Tony LaRussa).

    I guess that the reporting in the City Paper stands with those who chose inaccuracy, inconsistency, and biased media coverage over the facts of the actual event, and, that which defines true journalism.

    In summary, I have but one message for the reporting by the City Paper with respect to this story:

    “What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”
    — Billy Madison

    N’uff said

    Robert Baehr
    Founder/Coordinator
    PennsylvaniaTeaParty.com

  5. I wouldn’t have expected stellar journalism from the City Paper, so thank you for living up to my expectations. I am particularly impressed by the phrase “batshit nuts”…only problem is, you used to to refer to the wrong individual(s).

    So, you’re going to look at a sign on the back of one person and tell us that our big problem is that we’re mad about losing the election? Sure, I guess some people are. Should I assume that all of the Obama fans out there are like the McDonalds-working college student who just about passed out from excitement while asking for a handout? Or maybe they are all like the woman who thinks Obama will pay her mortgage and that she’ll never have to worry about her gas bill again? Wait…maybe they are more like the woman who asked for a house and a car? I sense a theme here…

    If you bothered to actually, you know, TALK to some of us you might understand that this is not about Democrat vs. Republican or “us vs. them”. It is about adhering to the principles upon which this country was founded. It is about maintaining our freedom and dignity which is slowly being choked to death by government’s tentacles. It is about showing compassion to one another AND being fiscally responsible. It is about integrity and keeping one’s word (and campaign promises?). It is about ensuring a bright future for our children and not just focusing on our momentary troubles.

    I encourage you to take the time and effort to put aside preconceived notions and educate yourself about what conservatives REALLY believe.

    Shelley Meyers
    Another “batshit nuts” tea partier
    Moon Township, PA

  6. Come on, folks. You expect me to buy into the idea that these teabaggin’ events are primarily bipartisan? Because I have to say — it’s conspicuous that all this “bipartisan” rage suddenly appeared when a DEMOCRAT took control of the White House.

    We had EIGHT YEARS of massive deficit spending under George Bush. The bank bailout was ushered in on Bush’s watch — to the tune of hundreds of billions of dollars. Where were all these sons and daughters of liberty back then? Where were your public assertions of dignity and liberty when Bush was massively expanding claims of executive privilege, and deployed increasingly intrusive tools of surveillance?

    You had EIGHT YEARS to speak up. Where were you then?

    But hey, Barack Obama takes office, and in a little more than EIGHT WEEKS you are suddenly shocked, SHOCKED to discover that the U.S. has been … engaging in deficit spending!

    It just doesn’t pass the straight-face test.

    But I guess I’m not supposed to notice that history. I guess I’m not supposed to notice that these teabag parties are being pimped by Fox News, the house organ of the GOP. I guess I’m not supposed to notice that, in urging responsibility, Keyes heaped almost all his scorn on gay couples seeking legal status for their relationships. And I’m not supposed to notice this stuff, I guess, because (as my post pointed out) …

    >>>> In the spirit of the day, Keyes was willing to make a nod to bipartisanship. Leaders in both parties, he said, were

    “walking us over the cliff where our Constitution is destroyed, where our economy is bankrupted, where our independence is forfeited, where our sovereignty as a people is no more.” <<<< Well, sorry, but that’s not good enough to qualify for “bipartisanship.” Especially coming from a guy who has run for office a half-dozen times — including against Barack Obama himself — AS A REPUBLICAN before finally becoming an independent last year. And need we mention that Keyes is the guy who filed a legal challenge to Obama’s citizenship, a subject of endless fascination for the right-wing fringe? Look, I have no doubt that many people in that crowd are more conservative than Republicans in Congress. But here’s the thing: Being further to the right than the mainstream in your party doesn’t make you bipartisan. Any more than a socialist — a REAL socialist, I mean, not somebody who supports returning income tax rates to what they were under Reagan — is “bipartisan” because he thinks Democrats are too cozy with big business. Finally, let’s not forget that Keyes’ “throw the bums out” solution would have partisan implications of its own. Democrats currently have a majority in Congress. Throwing out all the incumbents would almost certainly result in GOP gains, unless you envision some sort of third party rising up in less than two years and sweeping the country. (In which case, good luck with that, seriously.) Maybe that should give you pause. Maybe you should ask yourselves whether you are, once again, being used — and that your allegedly bipartisan anger is, at best, being used to further a partisan agenda. Just something to think about.

  7. Chris, you are totally missing the point. “Its about the spending, stupid,” (as I saw on a sign at the April 11 tea party). Americans (republicans, democrats, libertarians, and independents) have had enough of the wasteful spending, excessive deficits and public debts, massive corruption, and overreaching of the federal government.

    This most certainly did *not* start with the Obama administration, but look at the evidence that the straw that broke the camel’s back has finally arrived:

    1) Obama condemns earmarks on the campaign trail and then signs a bill with thousands of shamefully wasteful ones that no American citizen could legitimately justify;

    2) Obama claims he won’t have lobbyists serving in his adminstration, then proceeds to make exception after exception to his own order;

    3) several of the people he appoints for top-level positions haven’t paid their own taxes (is the tax code too complicated or are they corrupt, or both?);

    4) the stimulus bill, rather than being a well-considered blue-print for economic recovery, was a huge and chaotic mass of wasteful spending thrown together by House democrats, none of whom managed to even *read* the bill before voting for it, and leading to the AIG bonus scandal;

    5) the 2010 budget being considered by Congress as we speak is larger than the combined budget of the rest of the *world*, while we are less than 5% of the world population;

    6) the debt being created (irresponsibly, in the view of most Americans who are managing within their budgets and living) raises the percentage of the annual budget that goes to interest payments alone thereby assuring a crippling tax burden on our children;

    7) all this spending has to be PAID for by the taxpayer, who can expect inevitable and significant tax increases in every area of life, which means that Tax Freedom Day — the day that American have to work to just to pay for their taxes — was April 13th this year, but next year, it won’t be until May 29th, according to the Tax Foundation);

    8) government spending is expected to go from 40% of gross domestic product (GDP) to 80%, which is a jump that should concern any American citizen paying attention to this debacle.

    Honestly, Chris, I could go on and on with what I see as the shortcomings of our federal government and the dangerous fiscally inept decision-making that has come out of Washington, especially lately, but this has been a long time coming. Americans are finally waking up, and I, for one, think its about time.

  8. @ Jenken: You know, it’s funny. If it’s really all “about the spending,” why did Keyes bring up gay couples? Why rail about Obama “abasing” himself in front of foreign dignitaries? Why invoke the need to keep hold of our guns? Why was he talking about alleged assaults on Christianity? Strange topics for a discussion on fiscal policy, don’t you think?

    I’m not even going into your faulty history about stuff like the AIG bonuses. (Which were explicitly included in the agreement negotiated by the Bush Administration last November.) Life is too short.

    But while you claim these “tea parties” appeal to “republicans, democrats, libertarians, and independents” … the celebs whose names have been attached to the local “parties” are all former or current Republicans: Alan Keyes, Peg Luksik, and (at today’s event) Glen Meakem.

    And the Master of Ceremonies at today’s event? Jim Quinn, that noted friend of Democrats.

    Just so we’re clear: I have no problem with partisan events. Have as many as you like, complain about spending as much as you want. I just think it’s ridiculous to pretend that they AREN’T partisan events. Especially when the event is all about damning politicians for THEIR lack of honesty.

    I mean, really: One of the speakers at today’s event was a member of FreedomWorks. The head of that organization is Dick Armey.

    http://www.freedomworks.org/about/chairman-dick-armey

    Not sure what you know about Mr. Armey, but he was a former high-ranking GOP Congressman who is now a prominent Washington lobbyist with the firm DLA Piper:

    http://www.dlapiper.com/dick_armey/

    Among that firm’s clients last year? Merrill Lynch.

    http://www.opensecrets.org/lobby/firmsum.php?year=2008&lname=DLA+Piper&id=

    Yeah, THAT’s the guy we’re going to clean house with, right? You’re decrying the bailouts, but the guy helping to organize your protest takes money from the banks who sought them. (Other DLA Piper clients last year included Lehman Brothers and Morgan Stanley.) Your “revolution” is being spawned by exactly the kind of “bums” you say you want to throw out. So please forgive me if I don’t blind myself to the agendas being served here.

  9. Why is Obama spending all this money on all these socialist welfare programs when these trillions of dollars could be better spent on a war, preferably with Eyeran, or any of those other places on the map whose names I will figure out how to spell once we start bombing them.

    Signed,

    Completely Dumbfounded By Reality

  11. Here’s an idea paperreader… We spend money on defense because it’s what the federal government is SUPPOSED to be spending money on. Not saying we should be bombing any country that looks at us funny, but defense is actually called for. And how about we knock out (or at least down) the ridiculous welfare spending. It’s done great to pull oh, so many up by the bootstraps. Just look how well our inner cities are functioning these days!
    Here’s a better idea, curb the war spending, defense spending to modernize our military, and GREATLY reduce all the social welfare programs. Then think how much more of your money you’d be able to keep, and spend/donate where you see fit. Not where the government tells you it will work out best (and hope they don’t accidentally overpay by a few billion dollars again).

    Chris, why all the hate over the AIG bonuses? Sure, AIG has a big bad name now, our current boogeyman for the economy! Never mind the majority of the folks that were getting the bonuses were only being paid $1 for the year, and had nothing to do with the divisions that caused the companies failure. We’ll just demonize them all anyways, it’s so much easier that way. And hey, if Dodd says it’s so, it MUST be gospel. After all, his hands are squeaky clean in the whole AIG mess and economic troubles…

  12. TG – there is no denying, at all, that the number of people living in poverty, the number of people lacking education and the number of people living as “working poor” or bankrupted by illness has increased dramatically over the last 8 years – years in which the Bush administration essentially handed over welfare activities to religious groups.

    So, it seems that the facts contradict your argument, that volunteerism and goodwill are an effective substitute for a comprehensive government program that focuses on the trinity of poverty – unemployment, education and health care. When people, usually Republicans, argue such anecdotal information on social welfare, they usually forget to factor in the 12 years of Republican retardation of social welfare from 1980 to 1992, and the 2000-2008 retardation era which, collectively, have devastated the lower income populations by removing all semblance of a security net.

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