A confession: after an ill-fated incident where I couldn’t stop falling asleep during a St. Patrick’s Day movie date to The Departed (the guy could not stop talking about golf), I swore off the movie theater make out forever.
Still, the idea of sucking face in front of the silver screen has certain a romantic sheen, even if it’s one I’ve personally given up on. And fortunately, Pittsburgh has no shortage of appropriate movies showing in theaters on this, the most romantic of all weeks.
But which one is right for you and your beloved? Here’s our verdict:
Excellent Taste, No Notes
Magic Mike’s Last Dance
At last, the long-awaited finale to Steven Soderbergh’s male stripper saga. I will go blue in the face arguing that Magic Mike XXL is a complete masterpiece; if the latest installment is even half as fun, it’ll be the best time you’ll have at the movies all year. Plus, what better way to spend the lover’s holiday than admiring Channing Tatum’s superior dancing ability and doofus charms? (He really is our Gene Kelly.) In theaters Thu., Feb. 9. magicmikeslastdancemovie.com
Too Cool for Valentine’s Day?
Sunrise: A Song Of Two Humans
Once described by critic Dave Kehr as “the best foreign film ever made in the United States,” F.W. Murnau’s 1927 silent classic Sunrise is the perfect off-beat Valentine’s pick – primarily because the romantic conceit is the hero making a plan to murder his wife. Head to Homestead on to see it projected on shimmery 16mm by our pals at Pittsburgh Sound + Image. 8 p.m. Doors at 7:30 p.m. Fri., Feb. 17. Eberle Studios. 229 East Ninth Ave., Homestead. $10. pghsoundandimage.com
Yeah, We Guess This Makes Sense
Back in theaters with a 25th-anniversary re-release, this might be the most traditional of all options. It’s got everything: doomed cross-class romance, Kate Winslet’s boobs, Leo at his hottest and in an age-appropriate relationship, and the poignant image of the elderly couple clutching each other as the ship goes under. And while gallons of ink have already been spilled debating the physics of the floating door, the real mystery is the identity of the person who spiked the cast and crew’s chowder with PCP during production. In theaters starting Thu., Feb. 9.
Too Smart for Valentine’s Day?
Pierrot le Fou
Though Godard made Pierrot le Fou after his divorce from French New Wave star Anna Karina, you wouldn’t know it just by watching it. Screening at Row House Cinema as part of their political thrillers series, the film — ostensibly about a couple on the run from Algerian gangsters — is all bright colors and beautiful clothes. It eventually reveals itself to be slyly mournful and self-critical, marking a turning point in Godard’s career from “a girl and a gun”-style gangster pastiches to more explicitly political and theoretical work. Showtimes vary. Fri., Feb. 10-Thu., Feb. 16. 4115 Butler St., Lawrenceville. $12.57. rowhousecinema.com