Where do CP staffers stand on bus eating etiquette? | News | Pittsburgh | Pittsburgh City Paper

Where do CP staffers stand on bus eating etiquette?

It’s best to avoid traditionally stinky eats like eggs, weird cheese or durian.

There’s nothing better than settling in for a long bus ride with a hot cup of coffee in hand and maybe a scone or brownie tucked away in your purse. But that’s the extent of my public-transportation snacking these days. 

In my youth, I can remember setting off on a bus ride to Kennywood with friends carrying a full McDonald’s breakfast complete with a bacon, egg and cheese biscuit and a hashbrown. 

But since then, I’ve been grossed out far too many times by the detritus left behind by other munchers to add to the mess with my own French-fry crumbs.

— Rebecca Addison

It was a late night, you needed the extra half-hour of shut-eye before work, so instead of getting up to make breakfast, you figured, “I’ll grab a bacon, egg and cheese for the road!” 

But once you clear those folding doors, that bacon, egg and cheese, or foot-long meatball sub, or bacon cheese fries — from the initial wave of industrial-cheese scent to the razor-sharp crackle of a crumpling wrapper — become a nuisance. The entire bus will have its senses assaulted by your actions.

While I respect your right to nosh, I’d kindly ask that you keep it off the bus.

— Stephen Caruso

You want a tip for the right way to eat on the bus? Don’t eat on the goddamned bus! Nobody wants to smell what you’re eating. Nobody wants to watch you eat it. Nobody wants to sit in it after you leave your garbage on the seat beside you. 

And it’s not just buses. If there was a ballot measure that would outlaw eating on any mode of transportation — except for a dining car on a train — I would create a dark-money PAC like Citizens United and spend every last goddamned cent I raised to have it outlawed.

— Charlie Deitch

When I lived in Bellevue, I would grab a donut and coffee before hopping on the 16 bus. The cinnamon-sugar coating perfectly complemented my homemade brew and made my crowded 35-minute ride a bit sunnier. Technically, Port Authority rules prohibit food and drink, but I am a firm believer in making public transportation more attractive, not more restrictive. So Pittsburgh bus riders, go nuts. Bring a pizza or a hot dog or a bag of roasted nuts on board. Just remember to act responsibly: Don’t make a mess, and don’t booze it up (or at least not enough where you start to act like a jackass).

— Ryan Deto

Keep it simple. If there’s dipping sauce, you’re doing something wrong. 

Keep it considerate. It’s best to avoid traditionally stinky eats like eggs, weird cheese or durian (why do you have durian?).

Keep it neat. Marinara sauce is delicious, but not when it’s spilled onto your shoulder from a neighbor’s overflowing meatball parm.

Keep it vegetarian. Just my opinion, but it seems like baseline decency to skip the meat on public transit. At least shellfish. And herring. And sushi. Maybe I just don’t like fish.

Keep it bland. No one’s ever started a war over granola.

Keep it coffee.

— Alex Gordon

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