Watch your neck! Report ranks Pittsburgh as second-best U.S. city for vampires | News | Pittsburgh | Pittsburgh City Paper

Watch your neck! Report ranks Pittsburgh as second-best U.S. city for vampires

CP Illustration: Lucy Chen
Pittsburgh has long been considered the unofficial Zombie Capital of the World because of its affiliation with George A. Romero and his Living Dead trilogy. But a new report posits that another monster could feel right at home in the city, thanks to its cloudiness and other factors.

National lawn care company Lawn Love decided, for some odd reason, to put together a list of the best and worst United States cities for vampires. Pittsburgh came in at second place behind Naperville, Ill.

While obviously done for laughs, Lawn Love is also using the study to raise awareness for blood donations, pointing out that the U.S. is "in the midst of a blood shortage, leading to delayed medical procedures and postponed surgeries."

The ranking was determined by a list of vamp-friendly criteria, including the number of blood donation centers (Pittsburgh ranked first overall, tying with Naperville), casket suppliers, and homes with basements, as well as the amount of sunshine per year. Also included was the presence of garlic festivals, which Pittsburgh tied with Anchorage, Alaska as having the fewest compared to other cities.

Pittsburgh also tied with Anchorage for Lowest Amount of Yearly Sunshine which, if accurate, is startling to realize, as some parts of Alaska are known for experiencing consecutive months of complete darkness.

This news comes on the heels of spooky season, and Pittsburgh is no stranger to Halloween-time fun. The city is home to renowned haunts like ScareHouse, Phantom Fall Fest at Kennywood theme park, and other attractions both adult-oriented and kid-friendly.

Despite its zombie-centric reputation, Pittsburgh is also no stranger to vampire lore. Romero took a break from his undead ghouls to shoot his 1978 vampire film Martin in areas like Braddock, and the 1992 film Innocent Blood finds a female vampire feeding on organized crimes bosses in Pittsburgh. The latter is especially notable for showcasing much of the city’s neighborhoods, from a murder scene on scenic Mount Washington to setting a gangland shooting in a Downtown Market Square restaurant.

Altogether, Lawn Love believes Pittsburgh’s gloomier attributes make it a perfect vampire destination. While the city ranks low in other areas, including air quality and equal opportunities for Black residents, at least we know bloodsuckers can sleep peacefully in their basement caskets, knowing full well that the only food fests taking place are dedicated to pickles or pierogies.

Comments (0)