What a Pig!
Summary: A pearl of a pig is stranded. Station: WTAE Channel 4 Reporter: Shannon Perrine When it Aired: Nov. 6 Running Time: 1 minute, 28 seconds Visuals: * The caption, "Wandering Pig Found." * "Jellybean," in all her swinish splendor, socializing at a local shelter. Highlights: * When Perrine introduces us to Jellybean: "She's a pot-bellied pig, and if you know who she belongs to, the Animal Rescue League wants to hear from you." * When she continues the saga of Ms. Bean: "[C]ity animal control picked up the 45-pound pot-bellied pig on the South Side. It's clear she was someone's pet." * When a spokesperson for the ARL explains, "She is a house pet and has been well cared for and wants to be in a home and wants to socialize with people, but she also needs a little time outdoors where she can do things that are natural to her species, which would be rooting ..." * When Perrine picks up from there, "Since no one has claimed her, she's officially up for adoption. She's cute, she's housebroken, she's small -- but keep in mind, she is a pig." * When Perrine calls the pig to her and gives her a little pet. "Come here, kiddo!" she squeaks (Perrine, not the swine). What We Learned: Pigs that are pokey are okey-dokey. Unanswered Question: How do you not notice your pet pig is missing? News Value: 5. As of Monday, the ARL's Carol Whaley wrote me that the owners had not come forward, but "this lovely girl is being courted by many potential adopters." Let's hear it for pig love!
What a Guy! Part I
Summary: Joe Hardy, the Knight of Nemacolin makes yet another mighty donation to his country -- I mean, county. Station: WTAE Channel 4. Reporter: Jennifer Miele When it Aired: Nov. 9 Running Time: 1 minute, 30 seconds Visuals: * The banner on the top left of the screen that remains for the duration of the story: "Only on 4." Highlights: * Miele, speaking at warp-speed: "He is very funny, and in a very boisterous way, he assured me he will never, ever leave Fayette County or his plush Nemacolin Resort. You know, he's so in love with the area that he and his family announced today they would provide most of the cash needed to build a new community center in Uniontown. Now this is called the East End United Community Center, and it's going to provide before- and after-school programs for kids inside a giant 6,000-square-foot building. ... But he told us, despite the rumors, he has no plans to move out of the county to be closer to his daughters that he shares with his second ex-wife. ... [H]er messy divorce to her current husband ... has received national media attention." * When the ever-hardy Hardy guffaws, "I like Nemacolin ... Oh my god! That's heaven! Have you been up to Nemacolin? You oughtta try it sometime." * When Miele asks, "What do you think about how famous [your ex-wife] has gotten?" * When Hardy gives Miele the answer a question like that deserves: "We'll say 'infamous.' Infamous is a better word." * When Miele exalts, "Well, certainly, whatever you want to call him, the Hardys are considered to be royalty in Fayette County. ... [W]e're gonna tell you ... what he wants in return for his kindness later." What We Learned: Let's hope it's not another hyena to match the one his employees gave him for his birthday this year. Unanswered Question: Isn't "famous" a really fucked-up concept these days? News Value: 2. Rich? No argument. "Royalty"? Um, not quite.
What a Guy! Part II
Summary: More on the escapades of the Knight of Nemacolin. Station: WTAE Channel 4 Reporter: Jennifer Miele When it Aired: Nov. 9 Running Time: 1 minute, 30 seconds Visuals: * A sketch of the building Hardy wants to help pay for. * Photos of Hardy's young, tanned loves, past and present. Highlights: * When Miele begins her follow-up: "If they can raise it, he'll match it -- in excess of $300,000 for the East End Community Center, in Uniontown. And when you have a benefactor like that, you treat him well." * When an unidentified community official asks Hardy during a meeting, "What is your title? I think it's a duke, or an earl ... In our community, we call him a godsend." * When Miele counters, "How about entrepreneur, commissioner, husband and ex-husband? There isn't much Joe Hardy hasn't done with a zest for life that's unparalleled in an 84-year-old, who is, by the way, now dating a 21-year-old." * When Miele asks, "So why spend money and time in Fayette instead of France, Frankfurt, or even the 'Burgh?" * When Hardy hee-haws, "Down in Pittsburgh? Forget it! You've arrived up at Nemacolin!" What We Learned: This may be the billionaire who finally does give it all away and dies broke! And doesn't care! Unanswered Question: And is there anything wrong with that? News Value: 4. Pittsburgh, you just can't have him. His heart belongs to Fayette County ... where Dunbar girls with big dreams can have it all.