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Savage Love

"I'm still eager for more variety, and to be able to walk after sex and ride a bike the next day."

My boyfriend and I both spent a lot of time masturbating when we were young, and pretty much trained our brains to come only one way. He can only come from masturbating furiously, or sometimes from a marathon of jackhammer sex. A few years before I met him, I toned down the masturbating to retrain my brain and pussy and tried a bunch of new things, and I can now come from different acts and positions. It wasn't easy, but I am so happy with this versatility. I'm starting to get annoyed that he isn't working harder to overcome this jackhammering reliance. It hurts, it's super boring, and it makes me feel like I might as well be an inflatable doll. We've talked about it, and he says he'll masturbate less, and that does help (read: Now it's a half hour of jackhammering instead of hours), but I'm still eager for more variety — and to be able to walk after sex and ride a bike the next day. For what it's worth, about half the time he just lets me come buckets and then gives up on himself. Can you recommend anything that would help him?

Hoping A Massive Masturbator Eventually Retrains Exacting Dick

Here's how you retrain his dick: Your boyfriend stops doing what he's always done — no more masturbating or fucking in the style to which his dick has become accustomed — but he keeps on having sex and he keeps on masturbating. But he is not allowed to revert to jackhammering away at your pussy or his fist if he doesn't get off. If he doesn't come, he doesn't come. Eventually his dick, in desperation, will adjust to newer, subtler sensations.

Or not.

Some guys can retrain their dicks, but some people have carved too deep a groove into themselves and their junk. Other people really do require intense stimulation to get off, and they have to figure out how to incorporate that intense stimulation into partnered sex without destroying their partners' orifices. But the only way to find out if your boyfriend's dick can be retrained is to try to retrain it.

Oh god, Dan! Help! How do I get over my jealousy over my bisexual boyfriend, who now wants to act on his urges for women? We've been together and had a happy gay life for 15 years, open with men for only three of those years. He says he would never cheat on me, but he's getting to the point where he is gonna hook up with women. There's more to it, though. He is perfect in every facet of his life. A perfect person and a gift to the world, so any woman would be crazy not to want him for herself. We are deeply in love, but I'm afraid of a woman's ultimate intention for a guy like my partner.

Jealousy Annoys Gay Guy

Gay and bi men are just as interested in having partners who are perfect in every facet of life, JAGG, and yet you trust your boyfriend to fuck other guys and come home to you. You'll just have to trust your gift-to-the-world boyfriend to do the same with women. The "ultimate intention" of whatever woman your boyfriend fucks should concern you less than your boyfriend's ultimate intention. Does he ultimately intend to stay with you? Or would he ultimately prefer to be with someone else? If he wants to stay with you, then you'll have to trust that your same-sex relationship is strong enough to withstand a little opposite-sex hooking up.

I'm a 25-year-old heterosexual female, and I've been in a long-term friends-with-benefits relationship for a little more than four years. My FWB partner and I have recently decided to start dating. The issue is that going on dates seems awkward and forced. It doesn't help that neither of us has been in a relationship before. I really do like the guy (and our sex life is amazing), but I'm not sure how to move past the in-between phase we've found ourselves in. Have we been in FWB-land too long to come back?

Lost In Datingland

Dating is what people do before entering into a relationship, and you two are already in a relationship. It was a FWB relationship, yes, but it was still a relationship. And people in relationships don't typically go out on dates. So, yeah, the reason going out on a date with your boyfriend feels awkward is because you're not dating, you're together. So be together: Go places, do things, have dinner, see friends, go home, sex amazingly. Spend more time together, build on what you've already established and stop stressing about performing the roles of "boyfriend" and "girlfriend."

Recently, while masturbating, as I was approaching climax, I had a sharp pain in my abdomen, kind of like a hernia. It really sucked and it ruined my orgasm. This has happened a handful of times. I tested negative for a hernia. I'm a 52-year-old male in reasonably good shape; I've been going to the gym on the reg for the past few months. This sucks in that when my wife and I play, part of it involves my wife putting me in four-point restraint, masturbating me, then tickling me post-orgasm. It would really suck for this to happen while tied up and has me concerned about our sex play. Advice, an explanation, or a good theory would be welcome.

Gut Ruins Orgasms, Addling Nerves

I would advise you to speak to your doctor, GROAN, but I don't think you should worry about this too much. And I would theorize that you tense a particular muscle or set of muscles when you masturbate and every once in a great while this muscle group revolts and spasms painfully; your return to gym-going may have contributed to your most recent spasm.

So long as your doctor gives you the all clear, GROAN, I don't think you should stop going to the gym — or masturbating or letting your wife tie you to the bed.

On the Lovecast, the hype around the "female Viagra"? Don't believe it:

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