Savage Love | Opinion | Pittsburgh | Pittsburgh City Paper

Savage Love

There is an app for people who want to cheat on their partners. It's called "The Internet."

I ejaculate prematurely at least 50 percent of the time. I'm good for two to three minutes and then I REALLY have to be careful. I've learned to work around it (like, stop if I'm too close and eat her out to give me some time to relax, etc.), but it's still a pain. I have a theory: I am not circumcised. I know that circumcised cocks are more desensitized, as they tend to rub on everything all the time. Could my problem be related to the fact that for the first 20 years of my life, the head of my cock had never been in direct contact with anything? And are there tricks to help me with this problem?

Unexposed Nub Could Upset Timing

You're already doing everything premature ejaculators are urged to do, UNCUT: You're paying close attention to your arousal levels, you're being careful not to rush past the point of no return (or past the point of "orgasmic inevitability"), you're taking fuck breaks as needed. Those are the "tricks" to help guys like you, and it sounds like you've mastered them. And while the heads of circumcised cocks tend to be less sensitive, studies of men circumcised in adulthood have found no link between circumcision and premature ejaculation.

I'm a vanilla 29-year-old woman, happily married to a kinky bi guy for six years, together for 13. He is free to sleep with other men, and I consider myself GGG. You can do the math: I married my high-school sweetheart. (It wasn't planned that way — we just got lucky on the first try.) My husband has a cuckold fetish, and I would love to make this fantasy a reality! How/where do I find someone? I want to be as safe as possible, and I haven't dated since I was 16. I just want to cuckold my husband! Why can't there be an app for that?

Non-Experienced Wife Begs You

You're in luck: There is an app for people who want to cheat on their partners — with or without their partners' permission — and I'm pretty sure you're already familiar with it. It's called "The Internet." This app can direct you to websites for cheaters (Ashley Madison), websites for kinksters (FetLife), and regular dating websites where married people in open relationships are free to advertise for new partners (OkCupid).

I am 62 years old, fit, handsome and intelligent. I'm also as horny as a 17-year-old. My committed boyfriend/partner/husband-to-be of 10 years is 41. I met him at a men's club when he was wearing nothing but a towel, and we had great sex. We haven't had sex since that first date. I have loved this man from that moment in the club. He is beautiful: Asian with a bit of Spanish — my little brown prince. He is from a culture that is very private and puts on a happy face — always. It's hard for me to get inside and crack that stubborn nut. I would love nothing more than to make love to him.

Nine Outta Ten

A gay dude who fucks you once and refuses to fuck ever again isn't that into fucking, isn't that into you, or isn't turned on by men he actually knows. Some gay men are aroused only by anonymous sex — the kind you two had on your first "date." Some gay men overcome that handicap, others don't. If your "little brown prince" (erm) hasn't overcome it 10 years into this relationship, I doubt he ever will.

I have a couple of friends who prefer to use gender-neutral pronouns, which they define to be "they/them/their." I know people often use "they/them/their" when they are unsure of gender or want to include all genders, but it makes speaking English awkward; "they/them/their" are all PLURAL, while "he/him/she/her" are SINGULAR. For instance: "My friend Chris is going to the mall. I hope they has a good time." I'm OK with people being gender-neutral, but I also think following the rules of grammar is important.

Got Good Grammar

"They" can be used as a singular pronoun — Shakespeare did it — but if it makes you crazy, there's a simple solution: "My friend Chris, who prefers gender-neutral pronouns, is going to the mall. I sure hope Chris has a good time."

I agree with your advice to SNAP, whose wife shames him for watching porn, but there's just one thing. I'm a porn-positive woman in my 30s. But when I was still married, my husband once got out of bed while having sex with me to watch porn. He felt himself flagging, so he switched on his computer and watched porn until he got it up again. This was not one of the countless reasons I dumped the motherfucker, but it amounted to taking a bullhorn and yelling: "You're not sexy enough! I'd rather be sleeping with one of these porn actresses!" Is it unreasonable to ask that my partner wait with the porn until he's done with me?

Pissed-Off Romance Ninja

Your ex-husband's problem wasn't porn. It was insensitivity. And cluelessness. And selfishness. It is not unreasonable to ask your partner to save the porn for "alone time," and there's no excuse for cruelty and inconsideration — about porn or anything else. But some couples do incorporate porn into their "together time" ...

It's not always the wife who dislikes porn. I'm a straight married guy and I don't like porn. My wife started watching it to rev up her libido. But porn isn't a source of conflict. She watches porn alone or asks me to go down on her while she watches porn on her tablet. Either I get myself off with my hand while getting my wife off with my tongue, or she gets so horny that she wants to be fucked. We have good regular sex, too.

Routine And Regular Erotica

Thanks for sharing, RARE.

On this week's Lovecast, when is the best time to tell your boyfriend that you once had an abortion? At

Comments (0)

Add a comment