I’ve been baking these cookies for years. (Though, I’m not sure if it counts as baking; it’s almost laughable how simple these already pre-cut and pre-designed cookies are to make. All you have to do is handle a 10 minute wait while they sit in an oven.) But, I’ve never tried to bake them without a kitchen-sized oven.
If baking is out of the question, I just eat the dough. (Seriously, it’s almost better than the baked cookies!) But, according to Pillsbury, that might not be the best idea for your health. So this year, I tried my hand at two unconventional baking methods: the microwave and a toaster oven.
Next, I moved to the City Paper office toaster oven. The first attempt failed almost immediately. My second attempt, now protected with tin foil, was successful though very burnt. In a toaster oven, the cookie baked fast, at least double-time of a normal oven. I walked away for one second, and it was toast.
Microwaving the cookie was a bad choice. As a victim of one too many exploding Peeps myself, I was very aware of the combustion risk. I was also afraid that the City Paper microwave, already put through the wringer earlier this year by a microwaved bagel situation gone wrong, was going to catch fire trying to bake a cookie.
This caution resulted in a very elaborate, manual baking process that involved tearing open the microwave door every five seconds to monitor the cookie’s explosion risk. And the end product wasn’t even worth it, rock hard and congealed in a way similar to bad toffee when eaten. The microwave’s high frequency caramelized the dough’s sugar into a chewy, candy-cane texture.
My final takeaway? Don’t try and bake cookies in a microwave.