The Pennsylvania State Police want you to give them your horse | Just Jaggin' | Pittsburgh | Pittsburgh City Paper

The Pennsylvania State Police want you to give them your horse

I watch a decent amount of Family Feud. Steve Harvey plays well off the contestants, the production occasionally incorporates gross phrasing on the game board, and someone always gives a mind-numbingly dumb answer. 

Like the other night, when the category was "Something You Might Bum From Another Person," and a Pennsylvania State Police officer slapped the buzzer as hard and as quickly as he could and screamed out with confidence: "A Horse!"





FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
August 20, 2019
State Police Seeks Horse Donations

Harrisburg, PA – The Pennsylvania State Police is asking the community for donations of horses to support its mounted patrol unit. The department maintains a stable at the Academy in Hershey and relies on donations to fill a complement of 28 horses. The animals are deployed statewide for searches, crowd control, security, and patrol of remote areas. They also participate in parades, demonstrations and other community events. Donated horses must be geldings between the ages of 5 and 15 years old and stand between 16 hands (5 foot 4 inches at the shoulder) and 18 hands tall. Draft and draft-crosses are the preferred breed. Thoroughbreds and other “hot bloods” are less desirable. Animals must have quiet, sound dispositions and be free of serious stable vices. Horses will be accepted on a 120-day trial basis to determine their suitability. A veterinary examination will also be performed. Upon retirement, state police horses are first offered back to their original owners. The department finds them suitable homes if the original owners are unwilling or unable to accept the animals.

The state police aren't asking you to sell raffle tickets, go to a carnival, or hold a sexy carwash. THEY WANT YOU TO GIVE THEM YOUR HORSE. And if the audacity of that request wasn't irksome enough, they have specific demands of the horses that they will not compensate you for in any way.
  • Donated horses must be geldings between the ages of 5 and 15 years old stand between 16 hands (5 foot 4 inches at the shoulder) and 18 hands tall
  • Draft and draft-crosses are the preferred breed
  • Thoroughbreds and other “hot bloods” are less desirable
  • Animals must have quiet, sound dispositions and be free of serious stable vices
Unfortunately, the only gelding I have available is 20 hands tall and a total hot blood. He's powerless to the stable vices of gambling, alcohol, and making huge shit piles.

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