It’s dangerous out there for us 99 percenters. Without basic access to personal drivers, hot-shot accountants, and lawyers on retainer, we are left to our own devices when the proverbial shit hits the proverbial fan. It’s a wonder any of us survive the omnipresent dangers of slips-and-falls (it’s black-ice season), crippling tax-filing errors, and marital infidelity.
But take solace. In case you haven’t heard, we live in America’s Most Livable City, and Sixburgh has got your back with a robust selection of bankruptcy, personal injury, and divorce lawyers. And like our sizzling real estate market, they are all very reasonably priced. Here — in no particular order — is Pittsburgh’s all-pro legal team.
Demay, Demay & Donnelly [& Todd]
If you’ve spent any amount of time as a sick kid home from school without cable in the late ’80s, early ’90s, you had two options for programming: The Price is Right and Demay, Demay & Donnelly personal-injury legal commercials. As a true renaissance man, I enjoyed both. At some point they added “Todd,” which I felt really threw off the rhythm and phrasing of the firm’s name. They quickly realized their mistake and kicked Todd out. Probably never really gained Donnelly’s respect. Using just a first name is not very professional.
Edgar Snyder & Associates
This firm has over 300 years of legal experience, and that’s only counting Edgar’s resume. I can’t even calculate with the associates added. Edgar was born a 50-year-old man around the time of the Industrial Revolution and has been pointing that reverse-aging index finger at viewers since the dawn of broadcast television, promising feeless legal expertise. Edgar has found the secret to eternal life; I’m sure he can find you a lush, cash settlement.
Steidl and Steinberg
These two are going to solve your financial problems and take you straight to a Jimmy Buffet concert to celebrate — ON THEM! They’ve got the ponytail and chin-strap facial hair that solidify their counter-culture credentials. They got into law not to be “the man,” but to stick it to him. They are your high school friend’s parents who knew you were smoking pot in their storage shed but looked the other way because kids will be kids. And while they may seem almost too relaxed, they will not be jerked around by some IRS square.
Cordell and Cordell
This is the firm "dads can count on" for their divorce. Joe Cordell wrote the book Your Civil War: A Father’s Guide for Winning Child Custody, which dadmag.com claims “… hits harder than a three-hundred pound linebacker … This isn’t pleasure reading — it’s a playbook.” He also has a website with the URL mensrights.com, so he has direct insight into how marginalized men are in today’s society.
It’s good to know that despite all the problems we face as a society, we can count on facing them together with affordable, experienced attorneys who get results!