Lightning round Q&A with bartender Hannah Morris, of Maggie's Farm and Smallman Galley | On The Rocks | Pittsburgh | Pittsburgh City Paper
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Lightning round Q&A with bartender Hannah Morris, of Maggie's Farm and Smallman Galley 

French fries vs. onion rings, and other important stuff

Hannah Morris behind the bar - CP PHOTO BY ANNIE BREWER
  • CP photo by Annie Brewer
  • Hannah Morris behind the bar


How well do you know your local bartender? Probably not as well as you think. This week, we ask Hannah Morris (from Maggie's Farm and Smallman Galley) a few getting-to-know-you questions.  


If you could bring back something from childhood, what would it be?

Fearlessness.

What place do you wish more people knew about?

Soju on Penn Avenue in Garfield. Go throw them your money.

The world has become a post-apocalyptic wasteland. What is your preferred weapon?

Some kind of sweet power-wristband/ray gun that shoots laser beams, like Space Ghost or Mega Man.

What's a skill or talent you don't have but would like to?

Playing guitar, piano, any instrument – writing songs – then sharing them with others.

If you could go on tour with a musical artist, who would it be?

Iron Maiden, in the Ed Force One.

Which class in school do you wish you could have skipped entirely?

None of them! I loved school and have always loved learning. If anything, I wish I could have taken more classes. That’s one of the things that keeps tending bar interesting; being surrounded by so many walks of life, there’s always something new to learn.

You're a superhero. Who is your sidekick, and what are their powers?

A sassy Boston Terrier who has a 4-foot vertical leap, an uncanny ability to light up the faces of anyone who sees her, and protects me from dangerous enemies like skateboards and the sweeper.

What book(s) do you find yourself re-reading most often?

When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron. Brings me back down into reality when I disappear for a bit.

Someone gives you $100 with the condition you must spend it all in 15 minutes. What do you do with it?

Go to Howlers or Armand’s, buy everyone in the bar a round (or two) and leave a nice tip for the bartender.

What is one thing you always have with you at work?

My custom foot orthotics and flat shoes (I’m 85).

What would you change about Pittsburgh?

Ditch the new condos. Keep ShurSave forever. Fill all the potholes.

Aliens have given you a piece of technology unknown on Earth. Do you hide it or show it off?

Show it off. You’re only as sick as your secrets!

What's in your car's cup holder right now?

Disappointingly, nothing. My car has 10! And somehow none of them fit my water bottle OR my coffee mug!

What's something people assume about you that isn't true?

That I know what I’m talking about.

French fries or onion rings?

French fries all day, babay!

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