Surely you’ve seen online trolls take to social media around this time every year to blast the coffee company for its supposed “War on Christmas” for its non-denominational holiday cup designs. (I mean, we all know you can’t praise Jesus unless you drink a latte with skim milk and two pumps of hazelnut syrup out of a to-go cup plastered with the son of God’s face, right?)
But the festive (but not too festive) holiday cups haven’t been the only controversial item at your favorite American coffee company chain. Back in 2010, Starbucks customers cried foul when polar bear cookies with a scarf made out of red icing ended up looking like the animal had just gotten its neck slit. (Having the polar bear’s head raised high, with the scarf’s red icing, extra thick, dripping down in two nondescript lines didn’t help.)
Despite the cookie remerging online from time to time over the years, though, the infamous polar bears were actually discontinued after that first year, nearly ten years ago, which makes me really sad because there’s nothing I would have liked more than licking a sugar polar bear’s bloody neck for a holiday pick-me-up.
These Starbucks polar bear cookies looking like their throats are slit makes me glad to be alive. pic.twitter.com/fmCMAXOCQz— Andrew Dyce (@andrewbdyce) December 10, 2015
If you’ve also got a sense of humor about these kinds of things — or, if maybe you’re equally as deranged? — you’ll be happy to hear that this year’s snowman-shaped shortbread cookies still have a little bit of that bloody homage to their polar bear cousins.
Black buttons, black eyes, and a black smile, paired with a tiny flash of a bright orange nose complete the character’s design, with a delightful sprinkle of snow-like flakes of sugar along the bottom of the cookie as a final touch.
Paired with a latte (in a “Merry Coffee” cup, of course), this year’s cookie was a tasty treat — with a soft texture, strong buttery flavor, and worth every one of the 390 calories it contains.