Just Because | News | Pittsburgh | Pittsburgh City Paper

Just Because 

By Jimmy Cvetic

I know there are things that you ain't suppose to
do and will probably get you a good whipping
if you're caught but you'll do them anyway
just because and no other reason than just because.
Like you ain't suppose to play with matches
just because you can burn someone's porch down
or shoot marbles with a slingshot at a dog
just because you ain't
and you ain't suppose to tie two cats' tails together
and toss them over a clothes line
and you ain't supposed to fart in church
and you ain't supposed to rob the poor box
ain't supposed to stick anyone in the eye with an umbrella
and you ain't suppose to make pipe bombs
cause you might get your fingers blown off
and you ain't suppose to stick bubble gum in anyone's hair
or put crazy glue on toilet seats
or flush cherry bombs down the toilet
and you ain't suppose to tell lies
but if you do have to tell a lie
do it bold face and make sure it's a darn good one
and if you get caught red handed tell another one
and make sure your head is hung down
and mumble like you're really sorry even when you ain't
and you ain't suppose to swear unless you like eating soap
or you ain't suppose to hit your mother because
when you die your hand
will come out the grave and a dog will pee in it
and you ain't suppose to tell your sister to swallow
a whole fizzy like it's a Communion wafer
because if she does her belly will well up like she's going to have a baby
and rumble like Mt. Vesuvius and purple stuff will come out her nose
because she'll run crying blame you for sure
and even if you hide in a tree your mom
will find you and you'll catch the switch
but it is something else to watch your mom climb a tree
with a stick in her mouth when she's mad
and you ain't suppose to go swimming butt ass in the river
because you might drown and be eaten by the fish
and you ain't suppose to throw anyone's tennies in the toilet
and you ain't suppose to play hook from school
and go downtown to shoplift
and you ain't suppose to steal cars
or catch rats and put them in anyone's locker
or you ain't suppose to sass or mimic
or you ain't suppose to put your palm up on a bus
and have a pretty girl sit on your hand because
she will sure enough get mad and think you goosed her
and she'll kick you in the shin
and tattle and nothing good will come out of it when
someone tattles on you for a goosing
and you ain't suppose to trick people out of things
like their bag of potato chips or their apple
because you'll have to pretend that you like them even when you don't
and they will for sure want to hang around with you all day
and you'll have to douse them with skunk perfume
and sure as gosh-awful will be found out
because of a little crybaby telling
and you ain't never suppose to find fun in kicking a pigeon
if caught you'll get the blame for stuff you ain't done
even if you blame your brother.
Anyway, I know boys
that never part their hair
or wash their hands
that lie and swear
and smell like the alley
and do fun things like this and that
but they weren't really bad boys
maybe just a little mischievous
but they weren't bad
and tell you the truth I think some of these things
defined a boy as a man
and sure as all sin follows forgiveness
you ain't never to look at girl's behind when in church
because you could go blind and
because some things you just ain't suppose to do just because
but you do them anyway just because
and there's no other explanation other than just because
and there's a good possibility you could one day grow up
and become the President.


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