How many hot dogs is too many hot dogs? Probably this many | Opinion | Pittsburgh | Pittsburgh City Paper

How many hot dogs is too many hot dogs? Probably this many

If you were to have a barbecue for you and your friends, how many hot dogs would you buy? How many Cheddarwursts would you need? Let's assume you would be serving sides and hamburgers, too.

I would buy a package of eight for eight people. But to be safe, I consulted the experts: Hot Dog Bar Party Calculator, which suggested 16 dogs (two per guest). Someone wrote code for this calculation.


But what if you never planned on serving those hot dogs at all?


"Not serve delicious hotdogs and wursts?!" you just screamed to yourself in your head.

Yes. This is what is happening in the fridge our staff shares with our floor mates from another company. 

I have worked here since August of 2018 and have never seen a fridge without dogs, or a hot dog being removed from the fridge, or a dog being cooked or eaten. Yet the cased-meat supply remains ample, and on some days, just to keep everybody guessing, these wiener warlords will add to their stockpile.

click to enlarge First deposit of dogs. - CP PHOTO: JOSH OSWALD
CP Photo: Josh Oswald
First deposit of dogs.
click to enlarge Hot dogs. This time in a drawer. - CP PHOTO: JOSH OSWALD
CP Photo: Josh Oswald
Hot dogs. This time in a drawer.
click to enlarge Freezer hot dogs. Colder than fridge hot dogs. - CP PHOTO: JOSH OSWALD
CP Photo: Josh Oswald
Freezer hot dogs. Colder than fridge hot dogs.
click to enlarge Return to sender? - CP PHOTO: JOSH OSWALD
CP Photo: Josh Oswald
Return to sender?
I realize I could just go over there and ask someone, but this is 2019 and unnecessary office conversations are extremely taboo.


If you or someone you know works there or you plan to add more hot dogs, please respond in the comments, as we fear and respect you. 

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