Hippie-deep in Bush-league Rhetoric | Vox Pop | Pittsburgh | Pittsburgh City Paper

Hippie-deep in Bush-league Rhetoric

Note to Bush: The culture wars are over

I liked him better when he was an irrelevant drunken coked-out frat boy. Now that he's a powerful pious unilateralist who is convinced God has chosen him to invade other countries, he's a real pain in the ass.


Desperate to win Pennsylvania in 2004, Dubya comes to Pittsburgh every five minutes to give a banal standard stump speech. Idiotic idolizers pay two grand apiece for the privilege of getting an up-close-and-personal earful of that astonishingly annoying Texas twang, as they did a few days ago at the David L. Lawrence Convention Center.


Dubya over-enunciates his consonants to the point of absurdity. He claims to have made the world safer from terrorists when all he's done is inspire an entire new generation of fanatical America-haters to come out of every Middle Eastern nook and cranny and strap explosives to their belts so they can blow up some infidel Westerners. Westerners as in the western hemisphere, not as in the land of macho git-along-little-dawgies from whence monkey-boy came.


By the way, how embarrassing is it to have a president, un-elected or otherwise, who ACTUALLY says "YOO-nited States"? "NOOK-yeller" is bad enough: "YOO-nited States" is Foghorn Leghorn material. When that barnyard bully spoke in Pittsburgh, I had to change the channel several times before I shot the damn TV, Elvis-style.


But here's what really pisses me off: Dufus-boy went and fired another shot in the culture wars. These right-wingers just can't let the '60s go. It's red meat to the red-states crowd.


Here's the line that got my bullshit detector going. Dubya said, "[T]he culture of this country is changing from one that has said, if it feels good, just go ahead and do it, and if you've got a problem, blame somebody else -- to a culture in which each of us is responsible for the decisions we make."


What pisses me off is that the '60s are OVER. Everybody went and got jobs and sold out. Haven't these red meatheads heard? No one has uttered the phrase "if it feels good, do it," since Goldie Hawn was shaking her blond booty on Laugh-In, Tricky Dick was having some martoonies and smacking Pat around in the White House, and all four Beatles were still on the planet. To imply that some hippie culture plays a major role in our society is ludicrous. Even in the hippie heyday, the hippie's favorite presidential candidate, George McGovern, got an election ass-whoopin' like few ever seen in politics. So how big was the movement in the first place?


And who is more emblematic of the phrase "if it feels good, do it" than Dubya? I'm sure it felt good to be a coke-snortin' hard-drinkin' jocular jock. I suspect it felt mighty good to avoid Vietnam by using Daddy's connections to join the National Guard, and then skip out on a year of duty.


As for a culture in which "each of us is responsible for the decisions we make," how come he bagged the CIA director for bad intelligence when Dubya lied in the State of the Union speech, during which he claimed that Saddam tried to import uranium from Niger to build "NOOK-yeller" weapons? Oh, sure, he half-heartedly accepted the blame after the cowardly finger-pointing made the papers. But who's taking responsibility for the complete lack of preparation for the post-war (as if the war is over) debacle in Iraq?


Dubya avoided taking responsibility for election thievery, running for cover behind the twisted legal logic fabricated by the Gore-hating far-right Supreme Court justices. "Kenny Boy" (Enron crook Kenneth Lay) and Dubya's other close friends in the corporate criminal class certainly did what felt good. What felt good to them was lying to their employees while pilfering all the cash.


Who's taking responsibility for misleading the American people by implying there's a Saddam connection to 9/11 when there isn't?


This hippie canard is the new red herring, as opposed to the old red herring, the better-dead-than-red scare.


What Dubya needs is a return to the sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll culture. If he were still getting high and picking up Muffies, he might not believe God wants him to rule the world. Or at least, he wouldn't be able to do anything about it.


Hey, George ... wanna burn one, man?

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