Hallmark announced that from March 20-22, it will air a marathon of 27 of its Christmas movies, a small fraction of a collection that surely numbers in the thousands. I don't know anyone who wants to watch Christmas movies in March, but at this point, we'll try anything to plug the constant stream of mayhem. By the rate things are going, the Fourth of July could be in October, Halloween could be at Christmas, and Christmas could be in March!
Life is chaos, and one way to dull the panic is to let the sounds of Candace Cameron Bure saying "the spirit of Christmas" 40 times subdue you into a placid state.
Below are some Hallmark ... favorites? That can't be right. Well, they're definitely Hallmark holiday movies and they will definitely air this weekend.
Mingle All the Way
This film follows a classic trope of the Hallmark holiday universe, in which people who vaguely work in business or finance have to attend a holiday party, but don't have a date because they're too busy being a business person, and as we all know, showing up to a work party without a date is catastrophic to one's career. Enter Molly, who runs an app called Mingle All the Way, which is Tinder for business dates. She winds up with Jeff, a man she's already met and does not like but slowly starts to like, and get this, even love! This film also has the classic dynamic of one person who isn't that into Christmas paired with another person who loves Christmas so much it's creepy. Airs Fri., March 20 at 6 p.m.
Pride, Prejudice & Mistletoe
It wouldn't be a Hallmark marathon without at least one small town propaganda film. This extremely loose interpretation of Pride and Prejudice starring Lacey Chabert, involves a big city slicker business lady (she has a briefcase and everything) who travels to her small Ohio hometown of Pemberley for Christmas, where she reconnects and falls in love with a rival from her high school debate team. Besides some names, it bears nothing in common with its source material. As always, small towns prevail! Airs Sun., March 22 at 8 a.m. A normal time to watch a movie.
A Shoe Addict's Christmas
It's fairly common for Hallmark movies to have vaguely Christian undertones, but this one just goes for it. Candace Cameron Bure plays a department store employee who gets trapped in the store overnight during a snowstorm. During this event, she encounters a ghost (played by Jean Smart), who repeatedly gifts Candace with pairs of magic shoes that help her time travel, mend her relationship with her dad (and God) and make her fall in love with a firefighter. Despite the title, and despite the shoe gifts, at no point does Candace imply she has an addiction, for even a passion, for shoes. Airs Sun., March 22 at 12 p.m.