Crying on Campus: How and Where to do it | News | Pittsburgh | Pittsburgh City Paper

Crying on Campus: How and Where to do it

College feels sometimes like a second round of adolescence, with weird, unexpected emotional and physical changes

College can be an emotionally confusing place. It's not the best four years of your life, despite what your dad’s friend might've said. It feels sometimes like a second round of adolescence, with weird, unexpected emotional and physical changes. Growing pains are compounded by research papers, trash diets, and constantly wondering whether a degree is worth all this time and money if it doesn’t guarantee a job — because nothing these days does. You might, due to a variety of stresses, anxieties, and sadnesses, find yourself needing to let out a tear, or 80.

Obviously, bathrooms are great spots for crying — at a party, on vacation, at your partner's house. But while on campus, it's important to pick the right kind. Those bathrooms that have three stalls? No way. A line might pile up! Everyone will think you're pooping for 20 minutes. Aim for bathrooms that have 10 or more stalls, so there's enough people going in and out that no one will notice if you're in there weeping for a long time. The basement bathrooms at the Cathedral of Learning are a great option. Let it rip.

No one will question it if you're crying in the library, because there's probably a bunch of other people crying in the library, especially near finals or late into the night. Just make sure to do it quietly or a librarian might shush your sobs. Chin up, pup.

If you need to take an elevator to a class or a professor's office, the ride is a great place to let out one brief sob. Make it a good one.

Near a trash can
It just makes sense.

In the shower
If you live in a dorm and can't get any privacy, the shower is a great place because the running water will drown out the water running from your eyes. Also then your eyes won't get puffy. You look great.

Tips ‘n Tricks

Always carry tissues — both to wipe your tears, and because crying fills the nose with snot. Also, just generally carry tissues always and forever (for sneezes, nosebleeds, etc).

Do not cry while walking around in freezing temperatures. The tears probably won't freeze, but biting wind on a fresh tear is a specific sting. 

Like April says in that episode of Parks and Rec: "You have to wear mascara so we can see whether or not you've been crying." If your cheeks are running with makeup, everyone will treat you very gently.

Put in headphones and cue up a sad tune so the cry will feel more dramatic, like a movie.

Always carry a water bottle. Keep those ducts hydrated, baby!

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