Conelrad | Music | Pittsburgh | Pittsburgh City Paper

Sluts & Slobs
Oh No Vertigo!

Steely Dan's Web site contains Walter Becker's New Year's resolutions. No. 1? "Don't fuck anybody, ever. It's not worth it." Which was what immediately came to mind upon listening to Sluts & Slobs, the new 7-inch by local underground supergroup Conelrad. The self-proclaimed "worst men available," Conelrad is guitarist Adam MacGregor (Microwaves, Brown Angel) and drummer Jeff Gretz (Zao).

The two sides of vinyl are split into "Slut ..." and "Slob ..." and seem to portray female and male perspectives, respectively, in a brief musical romantic comedy for the misanthropic, miserable sickos many of us truly are. "You are one hell of a pseudo-effeminate / Piece of shit," goes one song on the "Slut ..." side; on the flipside, "I'm pleading for that mercy fuck / Fiend, traitor, woman, carnivore."

Beneath these sensitive and sweet ruminations, technical, high-speed riffs flash past, all rattling drums and guitars that offer flourishes of Greg Ginn among grinding atonal chords. And when I say fast, I mean fast: five songs in under eight minutes.

Conelrad calls Sluts & Slobs a "relationship record," which makes me wonder why the band didn't release it on Valentine's Day. In Conelrad's formulation, the whole world's in heat, the gloves are off, and another body beside you will only add to the desperation and loneliness. Might as well play this for your significant other right away and just cut to the chase.

Conelrad CD release with Ben Opie, Baby Bird, Lean Seasoned Beef and DJ Amitabh Malhotra. 8 p.m. Sat., Nov. 25. ModernFormations, 4919 Penn Ave., Garfield. 412-362-0274 or

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