Other, more ambitious, papers might promise guides that help you "beat the heat this summer." But let's face it: "Beating the heat" is impossible. Beating anything -- except maybe Pirates pitching -- takes effort. And effort only makes things hotter. Thanks to the unbending laws of entropy and the conservation of energy, even turning on your air conditioner won't help in the long run: It may make your living room cooler, but it only makes things hotter everywhere else.
So yes, you're going to sweat this summer, and there isn't much you can do about it. You can't beat the heat, and short of setting yourself ablaze, you can't really join it either. But you can take your mind off it. And we're here to help with the links below.
There's a world-class amusement park in our backyard, and many more within driving distance. Wake up and smell the funnel cakes! Click here for writer Mark Fatla's survey of area amusement parks.
A day trip to Wheeling, West Virginia offers a look at the oddly beautiful -- and the beautifully odd. Click here for Joshua Schriftman' s travelogue.
The 2004 Summer Guide also offers a listing of some of the area's seasonal activities. Click ...
... here for Justin Hopper's look ahead at summer concert highlights
... here for a schedule of other music events
... here for a preview of happenings in the visual arts
... here for a look ahead at the summer theater season
... herefor Al Hoff's look ahead at upcoming movies
... here for a guide to the season's fairs and festivals
... here for suggestions on how to keep the kids busy, and
... here for sports and recreation activities taking place all summer long.
None of these activities will help you "beat" the heat, but you can at least arrange a truce with it. Until the ice caps melt, that is.