At a custody hearing in Allegheny County on May 20, 2016, the 9-year-old boy at the center of the case took the stand and was asked a series of questions. His favorite school subject? Math. His best friend? Drew. His musical instrument of choice? The alto recorder.
But according to court transcripts, the questioning soon turned from school and music to the boy’s relationship with his father. “So what happened when your dad would sleep in the bed with you?” the judge asked.
The boy answered in graphic detail.
“Well, sometimes he would lay on top of me,” the boy said. “He would, like, pull my pajamas down. … Well, the first thing is that I was — I acted asleep, but I was really awake when it all happened. He would stick his penis in my butt crack. … He would do that many times. When under my body he would be squeezing my penis. Sometimes, I get really angry with myself, because I always say that I could have stopped him.”
The 9-year-old’s testimony in court that day mirrored information he disclosed earlier that year at the Pittsburgh Child Advocacy Center. In an interview with a child-advocacy specialist, the 9-year-old said his father had touched his genitals and shown him pornography on the internet.
But despite both sets of testimony, on Dec. 12, 2016, Allegheny County Common Pleas Judge Kim Clark gave the child’s father sole custody, saying she didn’t believe he had sexually assaulted the boy.
The child’s mother has appealed the custody order all the way up to the Pennsylvania Supreme Court. Last week, the court denied her appeal.
As outrageous as this case might sound, Richard Ducote, the attorney representing the mother in this case, says instances like these are all too common.
“Everybody who works in the child-abuse field and the domestic-violence field has been very frustrated with the inability to solve this problem,” says Ducote. “Family courts don’t handle domestic violence and child abuse well. They have a mentality that these are vindictive women that don’t want their kids to have a relationship with the father.”
Children’s advocates say courts grant custody to abusive fathers all too often. They say that although the narrative that the judicial system unfairly favors mothers persists, it couldn’t be farther from the truth. In an effort to address this, the Pennsylvania legislature is currently considering a bill which requires additional training for court personnel involved in custody cases.
“It’s really the same story of the #metoo movement, just in a much more dire setting where children are at stake,” says Joan Meier, founder of DV LEAP, a national nonprofit that works with domestic-violence survivors. “I think it would shock people to know that courts and judges are not more unbiased and objective than anyone else in our society.
“No one wants to believe that this many men are sexually abusing their children, that huge quantities of men at all class levels are doing this. Believing it’s false is a lot easier than believing it’s true.”
At the heart of the problems around custody cases is the concept of parental-alienation syndrome. The term, coined by child psychiatrist Richard Gardner in the 1980s, describes children who have been psychologically manipulated into showing fear or hostility toward a parent and/or other family members.
Ducote has worked on hundreds of child-custody cases and says abusive parents often claim parental alienation to refute abuse allegations. He says the child-custody case he’s currently working on is a clear example of the problem.
“This 9-year-old testified to the … rape that his father was committing and to sexual fondling. This is the same testimony that in criminal cases is sufficient to support a criminal conviction beyond a reasonable doubt,” says Ducote. “But in family court, it’s disregarded, because the courts favor this excuse of parental-alienation syndrome. Courts say this is simply the result of the mother coaching the child to say the father’s beating them, therefore the father should have custody.”
Ducote says the myth that family courts unfairly favor mothers helps protect abusers. According to the Pew Research Center, the vast majority of custody cases are settled out of court, and in 70 percent of those cases, mothers end up with primary custody. But, according to a Massachusetts study from the 1980s, when fathers contest custody, they win 70 percent of the time.
“If you are an abusive and controlling man, the ultimate threat is always, ‘If you leave me, I will take custody of the kids.’ So, what happens in a lot of these cases is, you have these men who have tried everything they can to maintain control of their abused wives. And they can’t, so they turn to the court system, and they fight for custody,” says Ducote. “There are men in treatment who admit to doing this. But most judges don’t understand the dynamics of domestic violence.”
Rep. Tina Davis (D-Bucks County) has proposed legislation that would address this by updating court procedures for child-custody cases in which there are allegations of domestic violence or child-sexual abuse.
“It’s very complicated when there’s abuse,” says Davis. “I’ve talked to a lot of women that have had this problem. Child molesters and criminals know how to get around the system and work it. In the courts, judges don’t want a child to be alienated from one parent, so [the abusers] say, ‘She bad-mouthed me to the child, that’s parental alienation.’”
The bill would require more training for court personnel handling custody cases and establish an evidentiary hearing to thoroughly vet allegations of abuse.
“I’m not putting judges down, but a lot of them have been there for years. They go about it the old way, and they feel that a man should still be a part of a child’s life,” Davis says. “There’s got to be a better way of looking at cases like this. A lot of women are getting discriminated against, because they don’t have the money or resources to fight in court.”
A national study by Meier, a professor of clinical law at George Washington University and the founder of DV LEAP, looked at 240 child-custody cases. In those cases, alleged child-abusers won custody or unsupervised visitation with a child victim 81 percent of the time.
“What the data show is that alienation does a lot of damage when a father claims it against a mother who is claiming abuse, that it is not gender equitable, that it doesn’t work the same way in reverse,” says Meier. “Parental alienation is very gender biased. It does a lot more damage when a father wields it than when a mother wields it. And it does more damage when she claims abuse.
“We were not entirely expecting this, but we found very compelling data showing allegations of child-sexual abuse or child abuse rebound drastically against the mother alleging them. Your risk of losing a case and losing custody go way up, if you report child abuse and particularly child-sexual abuse.”
According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, nearly 80 percent of all child deaths involve an abusive parent. Its most recent report, released in February, found more than 4,000 cases of child abuse or neglect in Pennsylvania. This represents an 18 percent increase from 2014. In these cases, 38 percent of children were physically abused, and 50 percent were sexually abused.
“What’s going on out there is so disastrous and so widespread, and that’s because fairly few people understand what’s going on in these custody cases and what an incredible battle they are,” Meier says. “We get flooded with these desperate calls for help.”
Meier has been working on a larger study looking at data from more than 4,000 custody cases that she plans to release this year. And without giving too much away, she says the study is confirming much of what she has found previously.
“There’s a widespread belief that men are falsely accused all the time,” Meier says. “That’s the impact of parental alienation, but it’s also the impact of the fathers’-rights movement, and the very persistent and effective advocacy from those kinds of ideologues who are trying to convince the world that fathers are being screwed in court.”
According to Meier, this has never been true. And she says it’s important to get the facts out there, so that inequities in the court system don’t persist.
“Our society thinks the courts are biased toward women. So, there are a lot of judges that bend over backward for fathers thinking they’re moving toward equity,” says Meier. “So, just getting the facts out there is really important to help judges see they’re not equalizing when they prefer fathers, [but that] they’re actually exacerbating inequities.
“It needs to become clear that when family courts don’t take abuse claims seriously they’re doing exactly what the #metoo movement is decrying: They’re disbelieving true abuse, they’re protecting abusers, and they’re doing it in the family courts at the expense of children.”
This article appears in Feb 28 – Mar 6, 2018.
This is exactly what I’ve been going through right now. I have attempted emailing news stations to look into mycase. Not only to help me, and my child, however to help other children as well. It is very frustrating when he even the court psychologist didn’t do his job and simply investigate and look into everything. How many children have to go through this before somebody steps up
Great coverage of the next big child sex abuse scandal that hasn’t been reported. Just like USA Gymnastics, the Catholic Church, Penn State, Boy Scouts, BBC, etc etc, the family court system is systematically trafficking child sex abuse survivors into the full custody or unsupervised visitation of their criminal perpetrators. But imagine having to live full-time with your rapist or molester, rather than just seeing him in doctor visits, or at church once a week.
These poor kids are being DESTROYED while family court operators (attorneys, therapists, judges) make a mint off of family violence. The Association of Family & Conciliation Courts (AFCC) is responsible for spewing their “alienation” junk science all over the country, essentially training family court operatives to “disbelieve child abuse allegations” and to ignore meaningful medical evidence of abuse. It is CRIMINAL what the family courts are doing. But it is extremely profitable to suppress abuse, so like most anything else in America, follow the money….
Bullshit. I’m not abusive but accused. I’ve been beaten up by the courts financially for years. Child advocates are involved in all cases so they know this, how? They are only included when there’s an issue, they don’t see the majority of other cases. That is far from the majority,. Every father I know is living in or close to poverty, homeless or similar after verdicts in family courts. Stop reporting irresponsibly or report both sides.
Lee – Im so sorry for your situation but this is a very accurate story about a subset population. Women with abusive narcissistic men and how the courts love them. Dont be naive. This is incredibly realistic. In the 8 years of court watching – completely accurate.
Though I live in Pittsburgh now, this is very similar to what I went through in Chautauqua County, NY in the 1990s. The Jamestown Fathers Rights group organized and financed the campaign of the family court judge, and placed their people on the boards of the relevant non-profits dealing with families, domestic violence, etc. It was an absolute disaster for mothers and children, as unfit fathers got full custody. Of course, being controllers/abusers, the same guys who cried about “alienation” were more than happy to cut the mother out of the picture, while the court looked the other way.
Thank you so much for posting the nationwide “secret” that is the reality of what is happening in family courts when a parent or child discloses abuse. I work with victims every single day, and this is truly what happens in every case that I am working on when a child discloses abuse, the abuser cries “Parental Alienation” to take the heat off of the abuse allegations. They do this because it works. It’s time the public understood that this is the norm. And I thank our representatives for rallying behind #HConRes72 to get this resolution passed asap. It may be the only hope for children who are living this nightmare.
This is propaganda . Sexual discrimination. Where are all the mothers speaking up to hold just one female accountable for criminal genital mutilation and sexual assault done to male children as abuse as well ? Not one female is sitting behind bars for even doing it illegally as was done to my son by his own mother. After a court ruled against it to say that it is the right of the child at age of consent. She did it anyway, still not in jail on top of abuse being covered up by her exploiting Child support through sexism promoted by the system to collect matching federal funds . So please don’t promote this sexism. It only hurts the equal rights of children. What about all those female teachers as pedophiles sleeping with underage male children as students? They’re not being sentenced the same as males whom might do the same crime to a female child. There is great inequality . Thus far, males as children, teens ,adults and as Fathers , do not have equal rights the same as all of the females. Especially with state and federally protected laws to enforce their rights above the others . Perhaps this recent observation of changes to the system ,come from decades of favoring the mothers over the fathers through the same sexism being promoted by this source article .
This is why I stay. I cant take the chance that my kids will end up with him or have to visit him without me there to buffer. To everyone else, he is a talented, funny, charming, professional with money. I have no doubt his money and charisma would win in court. In our home, he is a person who yells, criticizes, throws tantrums, slams doors to the point of breaking, drags, holds down – everything he can without crossing the line to leave marks so that theres proof of his behavior. There needs to be a way to report men who behave badly but dont leave marks – the internal, emotional scars are just as damaging.
If I knew the system was so broken, I wouldve stayed with my ex too. I never thought in a million years he would have me involuntarily committed with no proof of his false allegations against me to take my only child away from me 2 yrs ago. He told so many lies on the stand & even tried to put My daughter into foster care! She just turned 11, shes gone to 4 teachers at school, told DSS and both her therapists shes afraid of her father. No ONE will listen to her. She wasnt even allowed to take the stand . Her teacher called me saying how worried she was about my daughter because shes been shaking & crying saying shes afraid of her dad ( I recorded the call). The principal who is new, told me to stop telling my daughter to make up lies about her dad . The judge granted him full custody, even though I get more weekends with her & told him he could move 90 miles away from me & my daughters family ( he has none). My daughter is broken & hes making her go back to see the same therapist that she doesnt trust who believes every word he says. Im in North Carolina. Can someone please help
To all non abusive fathers/husbands/men this article is not about you nor is it stating that the mothers/wives/women are not doing the same exact thing they are toxic people who have abused their children and spouses. I know I have met them seen them and my ex mother-in-law is one. Regardless the gender of the abusive parent they will unleash an all out war on the other parent until they destroy them personally and the relationship/bond with their children. They dont care about their children they just want to win at all costs and sometimes all they want is money. As a woman and a mother any person that uses a child as a pawn, uses false accusations of DV or child abuse just to win and destroy someone. Just because they divorced you and were tired of living a life that was toxic gives you no right to do what you do and you are equivalent to a domestic terrorist. As you create mass casualties in your war including your own children. So dads out there we know it happens to you but the stigma society has created and has passed judgement on moms for not having our children is why it gas been kept quiet as we are told to be ashamed of ourselves. Any person that says it doesn’t happen to the other parent or gender I question as being either uninformed or an abuser themselves. I can give you tons of cases on a global basis that agree with this article. Again this article is not attacking men or father’s in any way it’s just bringing light to many parents that are silenced whether you are a mom or a dad this is for the abused children and parents.
When we came into this system in 2001, I could not believe that by asking for protection from abuse, we were inviting years of continued abuse and trauma from the family court system. The goal was not protection from abuse but reunification with abusers and this was stated over and over even in court literature. Criminal felony charges were not enough to protect my children from unsupervised contact with their abuser through the process of the criminal case compliments of Judge Kathleen R. Mulligan. No amount of evidence was sufficient to prove abuse or to be protected from abuse. After a no contest plea on lesser charges, the same custody order for unsupervised contact remained in place. The five year custody case created additional trauma to four children who have suffered serious health issues as adults. One is permanently disabled and others have developed autoimmune disorders and more. The family was forced into family court created poverty, stripped of healthcare, child support and a divorce settlement, as a punishment for reporting sexual and physical abuse to the family court that resulted in criminal charges. They are destroying the health of families far into the future. I hope and pray that this nightmare will end with the education of court personnel and the re-organization of this entire system and it’s response to reported abuse.
This isn’t just against men, it’s also women. The bottom line is that the court system is corrupt. This is why I’m fighting for ALL kids. It’s the kids that are suffering. Thankful someone is actually stepping up to write about it. News channels won’t touch it!
This is just one reason I’m fighting to change the custody laws.
https://www.thepetitionsite.com/755/522/831/levis-law-stop-5050-custody/
This happens by both men and women. The bottom line is that it’s the children that are suffering years of abuse and no one is helping them. The court system is corrupt. Thankful that someone is actually drawing attention to the horrific problem. This is just one reason why I’m trying to change the custody laws in PA for ALL kids.
https://www.thepetitionsite.com/755/522/831/levis-law-stop-5050-custody/
Domestic violence is tragic. The problem lies in how its defined. The only type of violence that most women aren’t as capable of in most of these relationships is physical violence, though it does happen. No one wants things to go this awry. Neither party wants strangers that aren’t impartial making decisions for our children, especially when the courts blow it so badly that whatever problems existed beforehand are now exponentially blown up so badly that most of our kids will never have both parents in the same room ever again. Restraining orders in Oregon are handed out without scrutiny like free lottery tickets at a church picnic. The woman can lie and not even show anything 1/2 the time. Just make a claim. The vast majority of us Fathers have one taken out as a pre-emptive strike before the custody trial and the attorneys and judges all know these orders are, at best, valid 30-40 % of the time, leaving a massive net of collateral damage where we Fathers lose access to our children and go bankrupt trying to get them back. People like to call this Parental Alienation… I like Malicious Mother syndrome…And yes, sometimes its malicious Father syndrome also. The courts are to blame and the strong advocacy for the domestic violence movement ignores that many of the Mothers use their restraining and Stalking orders to wipe us off the slate. I’m all for the movement but am not afraid to say this and I hope that some advocates for the DV movement read it. As long as you continue to lead women to believe that a little bit of anger only or words once is abusive and domestic violence, you diminish the validity of those women who truly are being tortured or beat. Reading the definition? Women can be the most spiteful and heartless creatures if they feel wronged and the level of vindictiveness that presents itself in taking our children away from us, trying to repeatedly to replace us with the next boyfriend, and seemingly using our children like power tools that they drill at us with no guilt or second thought at the sake of our children? These are violent and painful actions. If states treated women the way they do Men with the orders, you would quite possible see more murders of Fathers, more suicides if the Mother has to sleep in the car and not see her children and an equally messy situation that it already is. The war on Fathers need to stop just like the abusiveness in the household perpetrated by BOTH Man and Women needs to. Your only making things worse for everyone. it could well be argued that the courts along with the Domestic Violence policies adopted 20 years ago are by far the most violent act ever to destroy families
Sounds exactly like an alienating mother making false accusations and brainwashing the child. Comman place. Kudos to the kudge seeing thru it. These claims could be easily proven if true.
Unlike the author of this article, I bothered to read through the court papers in this case. Two psychologists, a guardian ad litem, and a judge all concluded that it was the mother who was the abuser, manipulating the child into making false accusations. How horrendous. What an absolutely disgusting thing to do to a child, not to mention the implications for the father, who could have ended up in prison. Interestingly, the child was adopted by the father (and his first wife who passed away), and lived with just his father for 4 years, happy as a clam, doing well in all areas of life, until the whack job second wife came into the picture and adopted the child as well. She is an unemployed physician, who refuses to work. She has had relationships with multiple married men, a fact that was not counted against her, but rather that she lied to the custody evaluators about the nature of these relationships. In her interview with one of the custody evaluators, she became fixated on a cup filled with pencils on the desk, and had to be redirected to the conversation several times. Overall, the picture that is painted is of someone with serious psychological issues. Of course none of this is mentioned in this article, and the ding dong attorney who is most certainly smart enough to realize his client is a complete loon, is nevertheless taking every opportunity to get his shiny face in front of a camera. Digusting. I am a huge advocate of protecting kids from sexual predators, something that I had to do for my own children, but we have to protect kids from all forms of abuse, and parental alienation is most certainly a form of abuse.
This comment is for the reporter. Unfortunately, you saw a small portion of a trial that had hundreds if not thousands of pages in transcripts, lasted 23 days and where the the judge is known as one of the strongest advocates for children in the state by child advicates (as a prosecutor she put away a large number of sex offenders and rapists and was known as an expert in child molestation). If you are able, given that a trial involving a child may limit case information to protect the interests of the child, to interview in more depth child advocates in this County, you will understand this better. The woman involved in this case is an unfortunate, extreme case of someone who is extraordinarily manipulative and unbalanced. She actually was a danger to the child. She is not typical and should not be represented as typical. Neither is her lawyer typical, in that he stretch this case knowing this and made tens of thousands if not hundreds of thousands of dollars. He and his client had the motivation to cherry pick information to mislead the reporter and the public in this situation. Not all courts or cases are the same.
Marc Warren sent his kid/kids (or claimed to) to family bridges. He is on the east coast. Wonder if he is the father who the child said raped him? If so, why did you choose, Tickle Me Pink as the hotel for the “vacation time”? One master bed with a jet tub.
You didn’t read this case, you read the appeal and you didn’t research this case. You merely do the bare minimum, like Randy Rand, Richard Warshak, Dorcy and Rebecca Bailey.
If family bridges was such a success, why are there non-disclosure, secret meetings, hidden from the transpancy of the public Marc Warren? Why don’t you have your co-parent that is doing so well and Happy with the program to be the one and only case that was a success?? Go get a tan in Miami and stop promoting something you will never prove.
This article is completely irresponsible journalism. The only source here is Richard Ducote, who is a known liar. He has been banned from practicing law in states all around the country due to his “scorched earth” practice of bankrupting and harassing fathers in an effort to get higher custody payments for mothers. He poses as a “feminist” but specializes in cases where a wealthy and bitter mother-in-law is willing to spend plenty to get rid of her grandchildrens’ father. Ducote is so bad, he has been forbidden to even visit Canada, having staged a kidnapping there from a fit father — Ducote’s specialty.
For all those who say women are as abusive as men: In Ontario Canada the provincial coroner’s office keeps stats on spousal deaths from violence. 95% are males murdering their partners. This actually matters. No matter how vindictive or catty or nasty women might be in personal relationships, they are not murdering their partners or their children to the extent that men are. Just like with #metoo, the stats back up the fact that men commit murder and abuse against ex spouses and children. The children need to be protected, and supervised access ordered until the male partners can be stabilized and the possibility of revenge seeking behaviours totally defused. And it can take a long time. Some families feel in danger of threatening behaviours 15 years after separation, and children are being abused for revenge over the simple fact of child support. Face it, women would love to have an ex they can trust with the kids– no one in their wildest nightmares wants to find out they were with the kind of person who would harm their child for revenge. But it’s a reality, or there wouldn’t be so many deaths of spouses and children. To protect the children, supervised access until stabilized. Nothing less than this is acceptable.
Are criminal charges being filed???
Youre right Karen. Criminal charges NEEDED to be filed way back when the child so bravely testified in great detail about the sexual abuse including rapes. Who shut down the investigation?
The poor child trusted his mother to protect him and he is now living ALONE with his rapist with NO CONTACT WHATSOEVER allowed with his mother. Why? What are they hiding?
More facts of this case are available at: https://youtu.be/gLs3uM4knp8
The mother, Susan, in this case is well known to me. I have never met a more HONEST, KIND, loving, caring and hardworking person in my life. Our lives crossed paths many years ago when I discovered she had been helping my elderly parents and she literally saved my moms life. Anyone that truly knows her knows that she would help anyone in need. She spoke out to protect this very community from horrendous patient safety concerns at Magee Hospital over a decade ago.
The LAW needs changing! When a CRIME is alleged in Family Courts, the case needs to go automatically to criminal court.
There are recently introduced bills in the PA General Assembly that touch on these issues that so desperately need to be addressed:
House Bill 956, 2017
http://www.legis.state.pa.us/CFDOCS/Legis/PN/Public/btCheck.cfm?txtType=PDF&sessYr=2017&sessInd=0&billBody=H&billTyp=B&billNbr=0956&pn=1115
House Bill 2058, 2018
http://www.legis.state.pa.us/CFDOCS/Legis/PN/Public/btCheck.cfm?txtType=PDF&sessYr=2017&sessInd=0&billBody=H&billTyp=B&billNbr=2058&pn=2989
The Courageous Kids Network is a support group of now adults in the U.S. who were court-ordered into abusive relationships. You can read their stories at http://www.courageouskids.net/
Convenient that you neglected to mention mothers who coaches her children to falsely accuse the father of rape. The system is simple. Present evidence and you should win. Evidence suggest that the mother was manipulating her children to win custody. If you wish to paint all men as rapists, then it’d only make sense to paint all women as liars. Not a nice feeling is it. Times Up!
@huu j nguen #shift, #blame and #project spoken like a true abuser.
@concerned are you a party to this case? Are you the father? I know cluster B’s hate to be exposed so you must really be really angry. Why not just let it go? Save yourself some face, return your child to his loving mother. You can blame it on this because we know you will never take any accountability. Walk away while you still can. #timesupforu
I think we are forgetting the point of the article. The point is that when crimes of abuse are reported to Family Court, they are not being turned over to the Criminal Court.
The point is, we have created and accepted a society and legal system that does not listen to its children. I am a parent and I know children lie, as do adults. But I also remember the fear of not being believed when I was telling the truth, simply because I was a child.
When I was 8 years old I stopped by to visit a close family friend we called uncle. I was on my own and he sat me in his lap. I didnt like it, but I had been taught to obey and respect my elders. I obeyed him when he told me I must unzip his fly and stroke his penis. Afterwards, I felt horribly ashamed and that it was my fault because he was an adult and adults were always right and knew best and children were naughty and in the wrong. I thought I would get into trouble if I told. I remember the fear and sickness I felt harbouring this unpleasant secret but eventually I couldnt bear it any longer and I told my mother. She sat down with me and questioned me about it in detail. I was only 8, but I was not insane, I was not lying, I had pretty good command of the English language, and I was aware that what had happened to me was not right. But I was one of the lucky ones. My mother listened to me and believed me. She did not accuse me of lying. And more over, I did not have to live with him and return for more abuse.
My parents were very sad about the resulting alienation and loss of friendship with the uncle. But that alienation was inevitable and not a crime, it was the correct path.
But in this supposed enlightened 21st century, our children, like the poor child in this report, are not being believed and are not being listened to. Instead they are being forced into custody with their abusers until they are 18! What terror, isolation and hopelessness they must feel.
If any citizen of the great United States of America, (where all men are created equal except for whoops, people of colour, women and children) reports a crime, we are supposed to be protected by the law. Its why we vote and pay taxes.
If a father, is being accused of a CRIME of abuse, yes, he should remain innocent until proven guilty in a CRIMINAL COURT.
If a mother is being accused of lying and slandering a fathers reputation, she also should remain innocent until proven guilty in a CRIMINAL COURT.
The point is children and mothers and FATHERS who report the CRIME of abuse, should be listened to and given a fair trial in the CRIMINAL JUSTICE SYSTEM, where it can be properly tried.
The child should be fostered in a neutral safe place until his or her safety is assured.
The Family Court System where a Family Court Judge, not qualified to judge criminal proceedings, is acting as both unqualified judge and jury, is not a just system. Its not acceptable.
Arent the lives of our children worth a proper and just trial in the criminal court? Or is that just too much trouble?
Unfortunately the opposite is the case. Many women falsely accuse their men to gain upper hand in custody and get child support. Its never about the kids or love. If not why is it that suddenly when there ia a divorce a former loving and devoted husband or spouse is suddenly accused of child abuse, sexual abuse and domestic violence overnight. The courts are systematically overwhelmingly biased to favor women and their golden uteruses.
The fathers right movement is simpky pro A childs right to have access to both Parents. 50/50 Kids need bith parenys thats why it takes both sexes to concieve a child.
Mothers what are you scared of? Loosing child support?
This is really awful journalism. Richard Ducote is a well known crook that’s been penalized, punished and sanctioned all across the state.
Re false accusations: In fact, research has consistently shown that few abusers are ever identified or incarcerated. Estimates suggest that only 3% of all cases of child sexual abuse (Finkelhor & Dziuba-Leatherman, 1994; Timnick, 1985) and only 12% of rapes involving children are ever reported to police (Hanson et al., 1999).
Further research reveals that of the few cases reported to authorities, relatively few accused offenders are ever investigated or charged. For instance, the first National Incidence Study (Finkelhor, 1983) found that criminal action was taken in only 24% of substantiated cases of child sexual abuse — a finding replicated by Sauzier (1989). After reviewing numerous studies, Bolen (2001) noted that in the end, offenders may be convicted in only 1-2% of cases of suspected abuse known to professionals. And even then, most convicted child molesters spend less than one year in jail.
I had false allegations filed against me in court twice. Both times proven to be unfounded. Both times a few weeks before a custody hearing. Once to sabotage my Christmas plans. There is no recourse for the falsely accused and it is not illegal to make false accusations, apparently. I looked into it while representing myself in court. It is so common that there is a “playbook for winning child custody cases”. In them, false accusations are known as the “silver bullet”. As many can be fired as needed until the dreaded “unable to determine” or “reason to suspect” finding is ruled by CYS.
I have dedicated my life to my kids and being an awesome dad is my main priority in life. To be accused of something terrible and untrue in order to gain an advantage in court is a despicable act.
Allegations of abuse are over half false because of this “silver bullet”, and it takes away valuable time and resources from those doing their part to combat actual instances of abuse.
I get it that the court is a business and money is what they are after. Kids need their dads. I doubt any kid with a loving father would only want to come hang out with their Dad every other weekend. How much influence and guidance could a guy provide with so little time?
I am so thankful for the time I do get with my kids and try to be as good of a father to them as my dad was to me. That precious lost time hurts way more than all the money and assets because of the fleeting nature of time. Kids grow up fast. They need their dads too.
These are subset cases not all child custody cases. Less than 2% of mothers make false claims in these situations. Less than 1% of children make false claims of sexual abuse. The Saunder study (commissioned by the Fed justice Department 2012) has false claims by fathers at 16%. At the end of the day it is the children who must be protected and believed. In this case the boy’s testimony would be credible in criminal court so it says something huge about Judge Clark and many other judges across the commonwealth and the U. S. He has been deprived of his protector and that is legal alienation. It does not make sense to leave decisions about families to one educated person with one signature who have their own history and views that are not based on empirical research and data.
https://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/nij/grants/238891.pdf
The kids know and in time it all comes to when they are grown and can finally decide on their own who they live with. Like mine are now with me…. and will NEVER SPEAK TO THEIR FATHER AGAIN!!!! Does that tell you something???!!
http://cbsn.ws/2DloCL9 Treating childhood trauma; this story on 60 minutes last evening shows what is happening to families who have endured abuse and asked for protection that is ignored by family courts. The health effects are profound and lifelong. Instead of protecting victims and providing support for recovery, family courts punish victims for asking for protection from abuse. Until this cycle ends, families who enter the family court system looking to end abuse of their children and themselves will be court ordered to continue it. It is a perverse and sad response to victims of domestic violence and child abuse. Law enforcement cooperates with the family court and CYFS also cooperates with the decisions of the family courts. When we asked the criminal DA to enter an order to protect my children through their own criminal case against their father, the criminal court judge refused, not wanting to “ruffle the feathers” of the family court judge who ordered them to visit through the criminal case. The charges involved felony sexual assault of the same children. There is no sane or understandable explanation for this. This is the reality in family courts.
I went through/am going through this. I gave up. My ex took my daughter. No amount of me saying how abusive he was, how he raped me, how he tried to get me to kill my self… none of it mattered. He has had custody for 11 years. Shes not ok. Shes not well at all and probably never will be. The system is broken.
In fact you can look up my story online. Google my name. The news article from 09 will pop up from when the media tried to help me and shine a light on how awful the system is. Sounds like its only gotten worse.
@HUU J NGUYEN Actually, all the available research demonstrates that it’s fathers who make false allegations during custody proceedings, not mothers.
Michelle excellent summary of the situation. Valette you should hold a support group together with your family for all the rest of us.
I am fully aware of the players, lawyers and psychologists, on your court orders , the same ones have adversely affected my child and me as well. New custody evaluators equally as damaging in Allegheny County. They do not “see through” as was made in one comment. They are not able to see the truth. They mis communicate information they mis communicate amongst each other and themselves. Lawyers mis inform judges. I thought it was apathy, maybe ignorance. But now I am starting to believe that this is purposeful. One mom I knew told me how well she played the evaluator. Same evaluator I had at that time. She got custody and then kidnapped the child to Czech Republic. The father then kidnapped the kid to Greece. may the best narcissist win! In family court.
Hopefully it is time for the tables to turn. Are there wise as a societee we risk raising a generation of angry sociopaths.
Parental alienation syndrome is a made up thing, useful to dismsiss anything negative that children say about abusive parents, usually fathers (they are the people who are deploying this concept and using it against women and children).
Hells Belles, the only sort of person that would deny the existence of parental alienation syndrome would be the sort of person actively abusing their child with it. You’re probably a very bad person.
The posts by the friends of wife beaters and child molesters about me are frankly amusing. I would be welcomed in Canada, and my professional accomplishments are extensive. Attorney Elizabeth Pride and her client, whose son clearly identified as his rapist in explicit detail so much so that Judge Clark assured the child “It wasn’t your fault–you’re just a child” before she sent him to live in his sole custody, have now gone to court to silence me and my client Dr. Susan Silver. They want $200,000 and an injunction!! Ms. Pride should read the First Amendment. I am posting here under my real name. Everyone here should do the same, instead of hiding behind pseudonyms. Some attorneys choose to protect the abused; others choose to protect the abusers. Here is my biography:
Richard Ducote, an attorney licensed in Louisiana (1978) and Pennsylvania (2009), has been one of the nations leading child abuse/domestic violence litigators and law reformers for 40 years. He received a B.S. in psychology from Tulane in 1974. Immediately following his law school graduation from Loyola in New Orleans in 1978, which he earned while serving as a juvenile probation officer in the Jefferson Parish Juvenile Court, he created a specialized program to provide and train attorneys for abused and neglected children. That project, which developed the Tulane University School of Law Juvenile Law Clinic, was one of only four in the country nationally recognized by the federal government for its innovative court improvements.
In Louisiana during the early 1980s, as an appointed special district attorney in 19 parishes, he tried child abuse/ termination of parental rights cases in 40 courts. Through his efforts in the courtroom, social service agency offices, and the legislature, the Louisiana foster care system for the first time moved hundreds of forgotten children into adoptive homes. In 1984, he began his nationwide focus on complex child custody cases involving domestic violence and child abuse. In 1991, he drafted for successful enactment the Louisiana Post-Separation Family Violence Relief Act (La. R.S. 9:361-369), the first state law barring abusive parents from serving as custodians, and forcing them to pay all costs and attorneys fees. This law, which has been called model legislation by the Harvard Law Review, has been replicated in many states and foreign countries. He has written over a dozen other child welfare /child custody statutes passed in Louisiana and other states.
Mr. Ducote has been an ardent critic of due process flaws in family courts, the inappropriate delegation of authority to guardians ad litem, and incompetent mental health evaluators and discredited theories in custody cases. He was appointed to the clinical psychiatry faculty at LSU Medical Center in New Orleans,
and regularly conducts mandated certification training for California custody evaluators. He has served as an invited trainer and presenter at many national, state, and local programs sponsored by the American Bar Association, the U.S. Department of Justice, the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges, the Institute on Violence, Abuse & Trauma, state and national domestic violence coalitions, child welfare agencies, and law schools. His work has resulted in honors and awards from Justice for Children, The Northern Plains Tribal Institute, The National Association of Social Workers, the Young Lawyers Division of the ABA, The LSU School of Social Work, the Louisiana Foster Parent Association, and the California Protective Parents Association. In 2012, he received the Sol Gothard Lifetime Achievement Award from the National Organization of Forensic Social Work. Mr. Ducote was featured in the 2005 PBS Documentary Breaking the Silence: Childrens Stories, and in Small Justice: Little Justice in Americas Family Courts. Articles in Newsweek, Oprah Magazine, Parade Magazine, Money Magazine and many newspapers around the country have quoted him. New Orleans Magazine named him on of the top lawyers in the city.
As a Martindale-Hubbell A-V attorney since his first rating in 1988, he is also admitted to the bars of the U.S. Supreme Court; the U.S. Third, Fourth, Fifth and Ninth Circuit Courts of Appeals; and the U.S. District Court for the Eastern, Middle and Western Districts of Louisiana, the Northern and Eastern Districts of Texas, the Northern District of Ohio, the District of Colorado, and the Western District of Pennsylvania.
In January, 2011, he received his LL.M. degree from Loyola Chicago School of Law in child and family law, where he taught a course on advanced issues in domestic relations law addressing child abuse, domestic violence, and family court flaws. His successes include a 1992 victory in the U.S. Supreme Court on behalf of two sexually abused children. His work has taken him to courtrooms in forty-four states, and over more than 2 million miles. His offices are in Covington, Louisiana, and Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
In August, 2014, he was invited by the U.S. Department of Justice and the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges to serve on a national roundtable of judges, lawyers, law professors, and mental health professionals to address the problems caused by the use of custody evaluators in domestic violence cases. In November, 2014, he was awarded the Judge Richard Ware Memorial Award by the Louisiana Childrens Trust Fund for his years of work in child abuse prevention.
Mr Ducote these are excellent points and your information is much appreciated.
People post under pseudonyms because they are afraid. Women who have made the difficult decision to leave an abusive relationship go to family court (trusting judges and psychologists and their hired lawyers) for help. They are then further abused legally and financially, their children put at risk and taken away from them. They are threatened to keep quiet. Not only is it illegal, it is unnatural instinctively for the mother and child. It is cruel. It is inhumane.
Allegheny County needs more public awareness on this topic. The evaluators, Allegheny Forensic Assoc, have been doing questionable evaluations for over twenty years. There is no one to turn to, speak up to, especially if one has been outspent by this system and portrayed to be angry, out of control, crazy, a liar.
Compare a search of mothers vs fathers rights lawyers and see the difference in numbers. Fathers typically have more power, money. Lawyers would rather represent fathers. They normally win in contested cases. Mothers are offered pro se help.
Society, after these years, is manifesting the dysfunction as is evidenced by increasing illness and violence among young people.
There needs to be a balance. This fighting needs to stop. How bout the children’s rights, safety, and best interest for real.
Ps…thank you for putting some light on this topic!
Mr. Ducote, I’m not a wife beater or child molester, nor the friend of one. Do you have anything besides ad hominems and the long litany of legal infractions?
Richard Gardner also committed suicide leaving behind a suicide note admitting to being a pedophile.
This is utter baloney. If the reporter had looked at data, and not just questioned a divorce lawyer who makes a living fomenting strife between divorcing couples (which is the last thing they need going through an emotionally devastating time), the article may have read something like, “DIVORCE LAWYERS USE KIDS TO DRIVE LEGAL FEES”… Having been subject to such shenanigans in my divorce, unless the mother is a total drug addict, derelict and/or violent, the courts don’t think twice about giving them custody. The norm today is for judges to assign joint custody and most settled cases I believe have that kind of arrangement. The example giving by the reporter entirely misrepresents the actual data. Child Advocates make money by advocating for problems that may not exist other than for them to exploit for gain; at the kids’ and families’ expense.
Apparently many of you can’t stand to hear the truth about the venomous Richard Ducote. He has been sanctioned by Supreme Courts in several states. A sanction means that the court found him GUILTY of seriously transgressing the law in the matter before them. And that’s not to mention the milion$ in IRS Tax Liens that have been filed against him. The states in question include Florida, California, and Texas. He has been implicated in several kidnappings, and it is widely understood that Ducote assists mother’s who abscond with their children by money-laundering their cash. What’s less understood is why this criminal is not behind bars. In one matter, he allegedly had an affair with the Mother, and then had her falsely testify against another Father on behalf of one of his clients. When he lost his case in Canada, he went to Nebraska and conned the state legislature there to change their law so to protect the abusive Mother. The Father has never seen his daughter again. So Ducote is persona non grata in Canada. Ducote has scrubbed the web, so some of this might not be easily found on the web. If the courts are so prejudiced for Fathers, riddle me this: How come the US Census shows that Mothers in single family homes outnumber fathers: 95% Mothers, 5% Fathers. How is it that the USA has far more single mothers than any other industrial nation in the world. (And yes — they too have some mothers who are unmarried, but the USA shifts all custody to the Mothers routinely, as this statistic shows.) And what is the greatest danger, statistically, concerning abuse of a child? it is NOT the father — it is the mother’s new boyfriend. A non-related male is 45 time more likely to abuse a child than a relative. (Think priests, for example.) Yet Ducote’s so-called “Leadership” council all but worships mom’s new boyfriend. Could it be that some people actually WANT these children to be available for victimization– that’s what the Pittsburgh Priests’ ring accomplished. Don’t be duped. Women and men are fallen. Women and men are abusive. But this much is true: False allegations of abuse are child abuse. One child in Ductote’s clientele, for example, was put through the torture of repeated vaginal inspections looking for “proof.) Children of falsely accused fathers lose their dads, have a diminished reputation, and are likely to be painted with the same tar as their dads. They are less likely to finish high school and more likely to go to prison that kids with Dads even in divorce cases. Taking a Dad way from a kid is crippling. But mother’s raise false abuse issues largely because attorneys like Ducote coach them how, and are able to collect far larger custody payments since the more time kids spend with their mothers, the more money she makes. If you take away this equation, the number of accused fathers would be dramatically different. In a recent local case, a Mother who falsely accused the father of sexual abuse and was found not credible, within one week drowned her five-year old child in the baththub. Yes. False allegations are indicative of severe mental illness. Don’t tell me that there are no false allegations because this state DOES NOT EVER punish a mother for perjury or false swearing. There are NO statistics gathered. Women can get PFA’s with impunity. Men cannot get them at all. Perhaps this is why the suicide rate among middle-aged men is soaring. As to the suicide of Dr. Gardner, the two knife stabs in his chest are — well — quite unusual to find in a suicide. But the next day, Ducote published a diatribe against him, gloating and dancing on his grave in a public way. Yes. I am a female. All the more reason that I HATE to see competent Fathers now being routinely denigrated while vipers like Richard Ducote are profitting from same. The biggest question of all is — if Ducote has been forbidden to practice law in about 7 states and one nation, why is he licensed in Pennsylvania? Because the state of Pennsylvania will license ANY attorney who has not yet been disbarred. The Courts sanction — the law board disbars — and they can’t be bothered. The ABA is a criminal enterprise operating to protect the profits of attorneys. The Judicial system in PA has been given an F after the investigation by the Center for Public Integrity. Think Kids for Cash — one of the Judges STILL hasn’t been disbarred and is up for parole. Will he be allowed to resume the practice of law? In Pennsylvania, it’s entirely possible.
@ Kathleen Russell, 2/28/2018 3:18pm Comment..
I found this story Twitter and read thru comments o see if anyone bothered to mention AFCC, HHS fatherhood grants, or any of the things I’ve been blogging (since 2009). So glad to see that now — after about nine years (and more, if one counts the NOW FamilyCourt 2002 report) — reporting from the same area as Center for Judicial Excellence (featuring your professional consultancy from the start) in NoCal — you’ve made, if hardly on CJE website or Twitter account, a PASSING reference to AFCC as a factor in (kids being delivered to the hands of abusers). Unfortunately, during the about-a-decade of silence on this, the system has expanded (internationally and nationally) so to challenge it challenges local power structures — both Behavioral Health (state-supported) and, your chosen primary focus, Judges (also state-supported).
If I live another decade (believe I may about a decade older than yourself), will your comments by then approach ANYTHING I’ve already done on FamilyCourtMatters(dot)Org (for free, and for the most part, alone)??
As has also (2011ff) investigative journalist Anne Stevenson, and before her, [another NoCAL woman/mother associated with CPPA, Cindy ____, whose last name escapes me just now, in&around 2001-2002 [re: conciliation code hidden in the family code], and before that (esp. as to AFCC’s financial/corporate/ private entity using County EIN# etc) Marv Byer (LosAngeles area, grandfather & computer analyst), and before that LizRichards of NAFCJ(dot)net?
~ ~ Such reporting deserved support, not silence from advocates (including some of Ducote’s friends) who themselves already knew about these things… but resistant to reporting on them…~ ~ ~
If our maternal pilots lights (or in case of Marv Byer, Grand-paternal) weren’t on, and determination to get straight, not deviated explanations for FamilyCourt professionals’ behaviors (better than “they just don’t understand domestic violence” when they’re training each other on it at conferences for MANY years… as AFCC has been, sometimes with the NCJFCJ), we’d have quit long ago… All of which Professor Joan Meier of the article also knows (and sometimes cites to), but presumes innocuous I guess…
(I’m @LetUsGetHonest on Twitter or “Let’sGetHonest” on my main blog)…
PROTECTIVE PARENT ATTORNEY. This is true all over the country. This is the kind of law I practice nationally, representing protective parents, those trying to protect their children from domestic violence and/or child physical, sexual or emotional abuse. More about why this occurs and how protective parents combat it in my article, Protecting Your Child, on my attorney website, http://www.ArlaineRockey.com.
Registered to the State Foster Juveniles going missing is the LARGEST PROBLEM this nation has with Foster Care. The selling through courts registered to State Foster Children is epid3emic.
A horrifying problem
Ive been going thru this and the system has failed repeatedly allowing an abuser custody while the never ever once employed abuser painted me in a corner crying a victim story riddled with lies anf ripping my chikd from myself and family with no contact for 7 months: she is 5 years old
Any journalist that interviews one person and makes it a “story” is not a journalist, but a stenographer. This purports to be an “investigative” piece, but interviews one biased and crooked source.
Rebecca Addison, your blatant gender discrimination in this post is disturbing, misleading, and worst of all denies all children the real concept of having a relationship with their father as being beneficial. Your focus is clearly on gender bias rather than actual facts and the best interest of the children involved. Certainly a child reporting molestation by any parent warrants further investigation and if found to be true, deserves a certain punishment, and more importantly, the children don’t belong with that parent. However your entire post here ignores the fact and reality that many mothers are also abusive, and manipulative to their own children. And many of these mothers play mental games with their own children to turn their children against their own father for the mother’s best interest rather than the children’s.
My children’s mother chose to be absent until our children were 10 and 12 years old. The moment she was made aware that our son was receiving SSI funds because he suffers from Autism and is completely non-verbal. And after I had been his primary care provider from 4 years old to 12 years old, and had spent years working with teachers, para-educators, speech therapists, occupational therapists, and developmental disabilities caseworkers, etc.. The children’s mother who was absent for several years due to drug problems after nearly ten years all of a sudden wanted custody of her two children that she’d abandoned for nearly a decade.
When she petitioned the court her claims were almost identical to yours in this post. “Their father is a drunk.” “He’s a drug addict.” “He abuses the children.” However for the prior 8-10 years I maintained one single residence while the mother moved over 15 times, always moving in with another drug or alcohol addicted man who she found to be appropriate and/or reasonable babysitters for our children, one of which being a highly special needs non-verbal autistic child.
On several occasions over those years she requested that I have the children during her parenting time because either she had plans to go on dates or she wound up in a situation that was not acceptable for the children to be exposed to. On on occasion she arrived at one of my work sites during her parenting time and asked if I would take the kids during her parenting time because… At that point she removed her sunglasses to re veil a swollen black eye that according to her was a result of her boyfriend whom she had repeatedly told me wasn’t abusive, yet my daughter told me otherwise every time she returned home.
The concept that you are presenting is that mothers are flawless and beyond reproach yet fathers should automatically be considered abusive and should therefore have no parental rights whatsoever.
You should consider the concept of having a more fair and unbiased opinion in the future because your post here is pure absolute discrimination based purely on gender.
As early as 3 up to and past 9 years of age brutal assaults and when I told I was beaten more. Why because back then if the men were destroyed the whole family was destroyed what were poor family women going to do and how were they going to support themselves so many children were expendable. When you are shot at, attempted to burn you alive, attempt to kill you, violent sexual abuse, brutal beatings and some of this stuff there were police reports. This ruins a child and they will never recover.
I have been living this for the past few years and while, yes, it can be by both male and female abusers as some comments attest to, one thing is clear: the court systems are not equipped for it. And the children pay the price-a high one. Parent alienation theories are highly controversial and are themselves being used to hurt further. Assumptions are made based on these theories that further damage children and the non-abusing parent and it is absolute hell. I think we can all agree that change needs to happen and sooner than later. My particular county is highly biased toward fathers and it has been a nightmare. Sadly, while we know it is sometimes true that alienation does occur, that is relatively easy to flesh out. But these theoretical so-called patterns that are being used as fact are a huge detriment to children and their parents and this country should be concerned. I don’t think I would have believed it until I/we lived it. This is not a gender battle, but rather a battle against whomever is using these theories to control and lie and, sadly, get away with it. The children pay the price. And THAT, is not ok.
Do your homework reporter. Ducote is a known huckster who is banned from courts in a number of states, has filed for bankruptcty multiple times and has hundreds of thousands of dollars and liens filed against him, Look in your own archives and you’ll see stories about him. He’s pitching this agenda to get paid handsomely. That’s it!
Wow; I am not saying he didn’t do it but i will say the this article is reversing well known facts. So abusive fathers are granted sole custody?, And its commonplace,? Well most male and female human Americans know thats not true at all. aside from some states like California that favors women in custody battles. Most men do not receive sole custody. and there has been cases where both have lied and manipulation events for either revenge or just the fear of loosing there kids. But when it comes to there kids most women will fight till the bitter end and are willing to do anything for there kids and to keep there kids weather or not she is a good or bad mother abusive or not. Men the are even hinted at abusing there children have already been jugded by every one that it was told to and most believe the story before any arrests trials proof or conviction even if found innocent he will always be know as the guy who abused his child. And we are finding out more and more everyday that child abuse /molestation is not mainly a male gender trait and its becoming more apparent that it is and has always been kinda even. I grew up in a generation where women don’t really like sex or not as much as guys do. and i have come to find out that its far from the truth and that women crave it just as much as there male counter parts. But because of sexism and abuse on females. and some double standards most women of my gen and the previous gens keep it quiet for fear of public out lash shunned beaten killed or abandoned. so it was both men and women that have been groomed in to seeing most women as not capable of doing such things. even Myself being a male yet not even your typical male (i don’t have a macho male persona) I am still a product of society and I see most of my gender being nasty violent pigs the that would f##k anything that walk. and cant even aim a tiny stick in the middle of a large porcelain hole with out missing.(not counting cold chills). back at the point. I am not saying the kid is a lire. but if he said in court what this article is saying he said. In my opinion it sounds rehearsed. i never met a 9 year old that could speak like that in the spot light with decent prep with out side help could even say it as it is described hear and speaking for myself I was beat molested and malnourished in foster care with my brother i am 37 now and have told the story a lot and he tells his story better then i tell mine and i have had years to prefect how to tell it. and all kids lie and even more now as each generation find out they can get away this and that as its always been. sorry if he is telling the truth but in my head not allowing emotion to cloud my judgment. There is no proof. His word against the other. and most men are messy I would the there would be some type of gross evidence somewhere. and if he did do it (as i try to keep my halo from catching on fire. He has sole custody now (poor kid if its true but he will leave evidence for sure now