Is there a weird pool? More bathrooms and bedrooms than any one family will ever use? Giant, gold-framed portraits of dead people? Check, check, and check.
And guess what – it’s for sale. If you happen to have $3.5 million lying around, you could be the proud owner of Southwestern Pennsylvania's own Queen of Versailles house.
The Berkshire Hathaway website touts this as a “Private Gated Estate” located in Gibsonia on 6.8 acres of land. That cool $3.5 mil will buy you what is technically two connected residences — a Manor House with 12,969-square-feet of living space and a “Castle” with 10,278-square-feet for, you know, other stuff. It’s also listed as a single-family home which, lol, okay.
The real estate agent’s description reads, “I applaud the incredible vision which created this modern depiction & recreation of the lifestyle of the 17th century in England & France; it is far beyond my ability to describe.” Indeed, because what can you really say about a place modeled after the mansion from the 1960s vampire soap opera Dark Shadows, and that features a replica of Bruce Wayne’s study from the original Batman TV show that, according to a TribLive article, comes complete with a “sliding bookcase and Batpoles.” No words would do justice to such class and luxury.
Pirates-branded gym will assuage your fears. (Update: Lubinsky reached out to let the CP know the Pirates-branded gym is a virtual mock-up and not actually the current design.)
What’s most confounding is how Lubinsky managed to live out his extravagant nerd dreams on a PBS salary. He was the former director of on-air fundraising and production at WQED and did similar work for the WXEL PBS station in Florida. He also served as the DJ and on-air personality for the Pittsburgh oldies station, 104.7 The Beat, and 100.1 WJRZ in New Jersey, among others.
A quick bit of research revealed that in 1942, Lubinsky’s grandfather founded Savoy Records, a New Jersey-based music label that would go on to have a huge influence on doo-wop music. Following in his family’s footsteps, Lubinsky has produced tons of television programming about the history of doo-wop and other genres.
According to Wikipedia, he was also instrumental in bringing several episodes of the long-running British sci-fi show Doctor Who to the U.S., because of course he did.
But who among us has not dreamed of the absurd things we’d do with our doo-wop wealth? Personally, I would have recreated the set of an old Meat Loaf music video, complete with a motorcycle careening through a wall whenever I decided to act out the entirety of "I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)." (If you're wondering, yes, I would 100 percent be Meat Loaf in that scenario.)
So in conclusion, please contribute to my $3.5 million GoFundMe campaign to transform this tribute to Baroque Batman elegance into a Meat Loaf cosplay studio.