Smark Attack Pro Wrestling Promo of the Day: John Zandig wants you to "Fix Him!" immediately | Pittsburgh City Paper

Smark Attack Pro Wrestling Promo of the Day: John Zandig wants you to "Fix Him!" immediately

click to enlarge John Zandig
John Zandig
Throughout the history of professional wrestling, what a performer can do on the mic is often just as important as what they do in the ring. Each afternoon, Smark Attack will highlight a wrestling promo that shows off the best, and sometimes the worst, in pro wrestling microphone work.

And we're not just looking for classic promos. If you're a local wrestler or if you've always wanted to be a pro wrestler and want to show off your mic skills send your best promo: 45 seconds or less to If we end up running it on the blog, we'll give you a City Paper t-shirt.

John Zandig, the founder and former owner of Combat Zone Wrestling (which he proudly called the most violent promotion in wrestling history; to be honest it probably is), has done a lot of interesting promos over the years. He's also been involved in some interesting matches, like the Tournament of Death he founded in CZW, which showcased some really fucked up matches, including a mousetrap and staple-gun match," and whatever the hell this, this and this are.

However, no one can ever accuse Zandig of giving zero fucks. In fact, in this clip he gives 19 fucks in just a little over a minute. Zandig's son was ambushed by two guys and, like any loving father, he wants to murder the two pricks who hurt his baby boy. This promo straddles that fine line between brilliance and incomprehensible nonsense. Whatever it is, Zandig gives 100 percent (it's physically impossible to give more than that). My favorite part are the emotional pleas to the group of wrestlers with absolutely no medical training to "Fix Him!!" Meanwhile, It's poppa bear Zandig who looks worse for the wear.