To provide the right horoscope, I must introduce you to three new words. The first is "orphic," defined as "having an importance or meaning not apparent to the senses nor comprehensible to the intellect; beyond ordinary understanding." Here's the second word: "ludic," which means "playful; full of fun and high spirits." The third word is "kalon," which refers to "profound, thorough beauty." Now I will coordinate those terms to create a prophecy in accordance with your astrological aspects. Ready? I predict you will generate useful inspirations and energizing transformations for yourself by adopting a ludic attitude as you seek kalon in orphic experiments and adventures.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20):
I love your steadfastness, intense effort, and stubborn insistence on doing what's right. Your ability to stick to the plan even when chaos creeps in is admirable. But during the coming weeks, I suggest you add a nuance to your approach. Heed the advice of martial artist Bruce Lee: "Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves."
GEMINI (May 21-June 20):
Gemini-born basketball coach Pat Summitt won Olympic medals, college championships, and presidential awards. She had a simple strategy: "Here's how I'm going to beat you. I'm going to outwork you. That's it. That's all there is to it." I recommend that you apply her approach to everything you do for the rest of 2022. According to my analysis, you're on course for a series of satisfying victories. All you have to do is nurture your stamina as you work with unwavering focus and resilient intelligence.
CANCER (June 21-July 22):
In Britain, 70% of the land is owned by 1% of the population. Globally, 1% of the population owns 43% of the wealth. I hope there's a much better distribution of resources within your own life. I hope that the poorer, less robust parts of your psyche aren't being starved at the expense of the privileged and highly functioning aspects. I hope that the allies and animals you tend to take for granted are receiving as much of your love and care as the people you're trying to impress or win over. If any adjustments are necessary, now is a favorable time to make them.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):
TV show creator Joey Soloway says, "The only way things will change is when we're all wilder, louder, riskier, sillier, and unexpectedly overflowing with surprise." Soloway's Emmy Award-winning work on Transparent, one of the world's first transgender-positive shows, suggests that their formula has been effective for them. I'm recommending this same approach to you in the coming weeks, Leo. It will help you summon the extra courage and imagination you will need to catalyze the necessary corrections and adjustments.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
"Find a place inside where there’s joy, and the joy will burn out the pain," wrote mythologist Joseph Campbell. I don't think his cure is foolproof. The lingering effects of some old traumas aren't so simple and easy to dissolve. But I suspect Campbell's strategy will work well for you in the coming weeks. You're in a phase of your astrological cycle when extra healing powers are available. Some are obvious, and some are still partially hidden. It will be your sacred duty to track down every possible method that could help you banish at least some of your suffering and restore at least some of your joie de vivre.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):
You know who Jimi Hendrix was, right? He was a brilliant and influential rock guitarist. As for Miles Davis, he was a Hall of Fame-level trumpeter and composer. You may be less familiar with Tony Williams. A prominent rock critic once called him "the best drummer in the world." In 1968, those three superstars gathered in the hope of recording an album. But they wanted to include a fourth musician, Paul McCartney, to play bass for them. They sent a telegram to the ex-Beatle, but it never reached him. And so the supergroup never happened. I mention this in the hope that it will render you extra alert for invitations and opportunities that arrive in the coming weeks — perhaps out of nowhere. Don't miss out! Expect the unexpected. Read between the lines. Investigate the cracks.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):
Poet Anne Carson claims that "a page with a poem on it is less attractive than a page with a poem on it and some tea stains." I agree. If there are tea stains, it probably means that the poem has been studied and enjoyed. Someone has lingered over it, allowing it to thoroughly permeate their consciousness. I propose we make the tea-stained poem your power metaphor for the coming weeks, Scorpio. In other words, shun the pristine, the spotless, the untouched. Commune with messy, even chaotic things that have been loved and used.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):
Sagittarian author Martha Beck articulated the precise message you need to hear right now. She wrote, "Here is the crux of the matter, the distilled essence, the only thing you need to remember: When considering whether to say yes or no, you must choose the response that feels like freedom. Period." I hope you adopt her law in the coming weeks, Sagittarius. You should avoid responses and influences that don't feel liberating. I realize that's an extreme position to take, but I think it's the right one for now. Where does your greatest freedom lie? How can you claim it? What shifts might you need to initiate?
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):
I'm glad you have been exploring your past and reconfiguring your remembrances of the old days and old ways. I'm happy you've been transforming the story of your life. I love how you've given yourself a healing gift by reimagining your history. It's fine with me if you keep doing this fun stuff for a while longer. But please also make sure you don't get so immersed in bygone events that you're weighed down by them. The whole point of the good work you've been doing is to open up your future possibilities. For inspiration, read this advice from author Milan Kundera: "We must never allow the future to collapse under the burden of memory."
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):
Aquarian historian Mary Frances Berry offered counsel that I think all Aquarians should keep at the heart of their philosophy during the coming weeks. She wrote, "The time when you need to do something is when no one else is willing to do it, when people are saying it can't be done." I hope you trust yourself enough to make that your battle cry. I hope you will keep summoning all the courage you will regularly need to implement its mandate.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):
What's the leading cause of deforestation in Latin America? Logging for wood products? Agricultural expansion? New housing developments? Nope. It's raising cattle so people everywhere can eat beef and cheese and milk. This industry also plays a major role in the rest of the world's ongoing deforestation tragedy. Soaring greenhouse gas emissions aren't entirely caused by our craving for burgers and milk and cheese, of course, but our climate emergency would be significantly less dramatic if we cut back our consumption. That's the kind of action I invite you to take in the coming months, Pisces. My analysis of astrological omens suggests that you now have even more power than usual to serve the collective good of humanity in whatever specific ways you can. (PS: Livestock generates 14.5% of our greenhouse gases, equal to the emissions from all cars, trucks, airplanes, and ships combined.)