Savage Love | Pittsburgh City Paper

Savage Love

"Almost all clients for escorts are male — whether they're looking for male, female, or transgender escorts."

I'm a straight male from Southern California and I really want to be a straight male escort. The problem is the industry is shrouded with deceptive "agencies" that take advantage of the situation. Also, it's not like there's a Male Escort 101 course that I can take to learn how to avoid these traps. Do you have any advice and do you know of a reputable agency in my area?

Seeking The Upright Deal

"There is no gigolo industry," says Dominick, the former escort who writes Ask Dominick, an advice column for male escorts and male escort wannabes at, a gay escort listings site. While Dominick's column focuses on issues that gay escorts confront, it's the "Male Escort 101" course you've been looking for.

"What STUD is seeking is a fantasy — one that has been fueled by cultural products like American Gigolo and HBO's Hung," says Dominick. "Almost all clients for escorts are male — whether they're looking for male, female or transgender escorts."

Dominick speaks from experience: When he was working as an escort in New York City, his ads stated that he was available for male or female clients. "Over three years, I went on exactly one call with a female client," says Dominick, "and one call with a married couple for a cuckolding scene, which was initiated by the husband. During that same period, I averaged about 5.5 calls per week with men. That gives you a measure of the demand from female clients."

And no demand from female clients means no escort agencies and no websites — at least no legit ones — for straight male escorts.

"Because there are many more men clamoring to be gigolos than there is actual demand for gigolos," adds Dominick, "shadowy scam agencies come and go, ‘guaranteeing' bookings with female clients to gullible young bucks — in exchange for monthly listing fees. That said, if there are any legitimate agencies out there, they are likely to be in New York or Los Angeles."

Another option, STUD: listing yourself as a "sexual healer" at a new-age site like

"That site lists male and female sexual healers, for male and female clients, for such services as coaching, tantric awakening and sensual massage," says Dominick. "Otherwise, my advice is to pursue a profession with the potential to bring you into contact with a wealthy female clientele — business consultant, art handler — and be exceptionally good and loving to all the women in your life."

You can read Dominick's column at Dominick has also written for the Red Umbrella Diaries, a sex workers' reading series in New York City. It takes place on the first Thursday of every month at Happy Ending. Dominick is curating the October Red Umbrella Diaries: Sex workers — escort, massage, porn, phone, stripper — with stories to tell can email him at [email protected].

I'm a 22-year-old female. My question is about when a guy goes down on me: How come I find it hard to enjoy any aspect of it? Is the problem that I've never experienced oral with someone who knows what he's doing? Or is it my own mental block? What I mean by "mental block" is this: I personally think it's gross and I can't imagine why a guy would want to do that to me. So the entire time he's down there, I'm stressing out about whether he really likes it. I try to focus on relaxing and blocking those thoughts out, but I always end up pulling his head back up, since I don't see myself ever experiencing an orgasm during it and, frankly, I get bored.

Erotic Anxiety Time

The only way to determine what exactly your problem is — your pussy-paralyzing insecurities? their pussy-disabling ineptitude? — is to work on conquering your insecurities while allowing the guy(s) you're seeing to go down on you once in a while. If you get over your insecurities about your genitals, and then oral — even inept oral — is suddenly awesome, then the problem was your insecurities. If you don't get over your insecurities but find yourself coming like crazy with a new boy between your legs, well, then they — all the other boys who ever ate your pussy — were the problem.

And it's fine for you to think eating pussy is gross — you're a straight girl, after all, and you're not attracted to women. But guys who dig women, dig pussy, and you don't have to like the idea of eating pussy to enjoy having yours eaten.

I am a 26-year-old straight girl and a virgin. I could delve into the reasons why, but I will cut to the chase: I really, really want to lose my virginity. It's driving me crazy! All I want is a safe, anonymous one-time thing so I can move on, and I'm not outgoing/flirtatious/pretty enough to meet men at bars. My question: Straight male escorts — do they exist? How would I find one? Being with someone understanding, experienced and professional sounds like exactly what I'm looking for.

Very Concerned About Retarded Development

Wannabe straight male escorts exist, VCARD, as STUD's letter proves. But there aren't enough straight female wannabe clients out there to support a website or agency for straight male escorts, as Dominick's response to STUD proves. However, a lot of male escorts on gay-specific websites are bisexual; some are even highly heteroflexible gay-for-pay straight guys. Spend some time on a gay escort site, and it won't be long before you run across an ad posted by a male escort who identifies as bi. The guy could be lying — some gay escorts will claim to be straight or bi to attract gay male clients who get off on sleeping with straight guys — so you may not hear back from the first escort you send an email to. But keep looking, email any guy who strikes your fancy, and be upfront about who you are and what you're looking for.

Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at