For many students at Oakland Catholic High School, prom night is something they’ll never forget … if only because they may not attend it in the first place.
Students at the all-girls Catholic high school have long bemoaned the strict rules at the yearly formal dance, which they say are excessive even for a religious-school function. School officials must pre-approve prom dresses, judging whether they are too short, too low-cut or expose too much of a student’s back. Then there’s the dance-floor policing.
“If you were [dancing] too close to anyone, they’d tell you to leave room for the Holy Spirit,” says Lexy Orriola, 18, of Forest Hills, who graduated from Oakland Catholic last year. The punishment for such an infraction? “They put you in a corner,” for a timeout.
For the past four years, students have held an alternative event, originally dubbed “anti-prom.” Though the formal dance was supervised by parents, “It was way more fun,” says Orriola, who attended in her junior year. “There was supervision, but no one was telling anyone to go in the corner.”
But Oakland Catholic officials are sending a warning: Attend anti-prom, and you may be risking your chance at getting into the college of your choice. School officials recently announced that teachers may rescind college letters of recommendation for any student who attends the non-sanctioned event … or who complains about the official prom on Facebook and other social-networking sites.
“It’s just a threat,” says an Oakland Catholic senior helping to organize this year’s anti-prom. “It’s just meant to scare people.”
The student, like others who spoke to City Paper, asked to remain anonymous, for fear of reprisal.
Oakland Catholic, located on North Craig Street, serves about 600 female students, whose families pay roughly $10,000 a year for them to attend. Its mission is to teach “young women to lead lives of faith, courage and commitment as they lay the foundation for their future as responsible and respected global leaders.”
School officials say that is why they supervise the prom so strictly.
Students “know our expectations,” says Maureen Marsteller, the school’s principal. And they are required to conduct themselves with decorum, both in class and at school functions.
Not surprisingly, officials frowned on “anti-prom” when it was first launched in 2008, by students and parents fed up with the stringent rules at the school dance. Since anti-prom’s inception, school administrators have discouraged attendance, sending letters to parents criticizing the dance as a non-sanctioned event not in line with the school’s values. Some students say they’ve heard of officials threatening to punish girls who attend the anti-prom by not allowing them to walk at graduation, though City Paper was not able to verify that claim.
There’s little question that “anti-prom” — which this year has been renamed “Party of the Year” in an effort to appease school officials — has put a dent in attendance at the official gathering. Marsteller declined to say how anti-prom has impacted turnout for the school’s official event. But the school has previously noted that in 2008, just before the alternative prom was created, the official prom drew more than 100 couples. That number dropped to fewer than 20 couples in the anti-prom’s inaugural year, though the school claims attendance has rebounded somewhat since then.
Marsteller denies that students have ever been threatened for attending the dance. “I think you have a lot of misinformation,” she says. Students “have embellished quite a bit.”
But this year, the school is taking a more public step in its effort to dissuade attendance at anti-prom.
On Feb. 16, it posted a release under the “General News” section of the school’s website. Headlined “Promoting a Positive Prom,” the release announced that “Oakland Catholic High School faculty and administrators have joined forces to defeat the anti-prom.”
Their battle plan involves a new disciplinary option for teachers. “If a student requests a letter of recommendation … that student may first be required to sign a memorandum of understanding,” the statement reads. “The memorandum requests that the student … support the school by not attending the anti-prom, by not slandering the school on a social network site, and by not participating in cheating or plagiarism.” The statement adds that the policy was “unanimously embraced” by faculty.
Marsteller says the new policy isn’t a threat at all, but “a choice of the teachers” to help ensure students make decisions in line with the values of their school.
Some parents sympathize with that position.
Linda King, 50, of Munhall, allowed her daughter to attend the alternative prom in 2009, even though she didn’t like the idea of the non-sanctioned dance. Leading up to anti-prom that year, she recalls receiving a letter from Oakland Catholic in the mail, notifying parents that anti-prom was not a school-sanctioned dance.
In addition, she says, the letter emphasized that complaints against the official prom were misguided. The letter’s message, she recalls, was: “This is why you’re sending your girls here — for the discipline.”
“I understand Oakland’s point of view. … You chose to send your child there,” King says. And while she refers to the new policies as “scare tactics,” which may “seem harsh,” she says it wouldn’t bother her if the prom alternative were scrapped.
Some students, not surprisingly, see things differently.
“People think anti-[prom] is an open house party with people doing keg stands,” says the senior planning this year’s event. “[Administrators] say we do it for drinking, sex and drugs.”
Not true, she says. The event “is like a public-school prom,” complete with adult and police supervision.
Says alumna Orriola of the new policy: “This is out of control.”
The school’s tactics are already making an impact.
Organizers of this year’s anti-prom — being held at a facility in the South Side — have scheduled the prom for May 25, two days after graduation. That way, students can’t be kept from attending graduation if they attend. The event is also being opened to students from other area schools, so the prom doesn’t appear to be so anti-Oakland Catholic. Organizers are also forbidding students from calling the dance “anti-prom.”
Students bridle at the need for such measures. But they’re still predicting a better turnout than Oakland Catholic’s official event, which will be held May 4 at the Heinz History Center.
“No one’s going to end up going” to the school’s sanctioned prom, says the senior organizing the alternative event. “They treat kids like they’re in kindergarten.”
This article appears in Apr 25 – May 1, 2012.
Wanna make a real difference with the “anti-prom”? Celebrate the individual and don’t *encourage* the need for a date.
From the Oakland Catholic website:
“Just a reminder that couple tickets are $125 and individual tickets are $75”.
And here we have the great paradox. If OC wants to have a wholesome and celibate event, then why offer a $25 discount for bringing a date? Does the “anti-prom” offer a date-discount?
I am a alumna of Oakland Catholic (2008) and I attended the school sanctioned prom my senior year because my mom wouldn’t let me go to the anti-prom. I had fun at Oakland Prom, and all my friends did also. For the record, there were 45-50 couples at the prom. While the “time-outs” and “policing” wasn’t so bad at prom or other dances during my high school experience, I have reason to believe that they have gotten substantially more strict in following years.
I think the entire situation has gotten out of hand since this occurred. While I admit that the OC administration shares part of the blame for this, I think this article is quite obviously biased, almost as though it was written by a disgruntled OC student. While I do think the administration often takes small matters far out of proportion, I can certainly see the rational for wanting to give the school a better name. (Though I think this plan may have contributed to the popular nickname “Jokeland Catholic”)
The Central Catholic administration has shown that a balance can exist at Catholic school social functions. Central manages to uphold the moral standards of its students and their dates while also hosting a fun social event. Perhaps the OC principal should look to Central Catholic for help on how to plan a dance.
It is the Oakland Catholic administration’s unwillingness to compromise that makes this such a disaster. Why not go back to the root of the problem and form a student committee where these frustrated students can discuss their concerns with the administration?
In my mind, by focusing so much time and attention on such a trivial matter, Oakland Catholic is doing its students a disservice in other areas. I for one think they could use their time more wisely by improving some their weak academic areas (believe me, they exist) or maybe even by painting that hideous green cross and orange tile on the exterior of their new building.
I personally feel that the administration should leave the petty complaining and whining up to the OC girls and get back to what really matters – the academics.
obvious ms anonymous08 you live in a very sheltered world. im sorry for that. if you think this is a trival matter perhaps you should evaluate yourself. this has been an issue since ’98 and it has ever so slightly gotten worse. the real issue lies with the administration and the fact they run that place like a nazi camp. if the academics are weak why are OC girls constantly being accepted into prestigious programs? perhaps the only thing weak is your inability to accept the fact you go to CCAC.
Leadinglady, I don’t understand how making a personal attack against me is bettering your cause (especially if you consider yourself a supporter of a Catholic high school). By the way, I don’t go to CCAC, and even if I did that hardly makes me less of a person.
Also, I don’t understand your point. I am not criticizing all Oakland Catholic academics. I am a graduate of the school, I have pride in the education I received there! I am simply saying, they definitely have areas that they can improve in, and it seems like a more valuable use of time. It seems we share similar feeling about the administration of the school… though I don’t know if “nazi camp” is the proper terminology.
Leadinglady, in defense of anonymous08, Oakland Catholic does have weak academics in certain departments and should focus more on improving those departments rather than blowing a student-run dance out of proportion. Just because some students have been accepted into prestigious universitys, does not mean they deserved it. Many classes at Oakland Catholic are too easy, which gives certain students a better GPA and acceptance into such schools – I am not saying that some students do not work hard and earn their GPA. But isn’t that the case in many schools? There is always room for improvement, especially at OC.
To the paper, it is understandable why the school does not like the idea of anti-prom since it takes away from their own prom. However, they have crossed the line. The school is merely sugar-coating the way the school deals with the students involved or attending the alternative dance. As an organizer of one of the previous alternative dances, I was called into the office during school to be questioned about the dance. Instead of appropriately questioning me, the school insulted my morals, values, and personal life. It was also stated that if any photos of inappropriate behavior leaked onto Facebook or other social networks that I, along with the students involved in the photos, would not walk at graduation. To add to my “punishment” for being a host of this dance, some of my teachers pulled their letters of recommendation that they had written for me.
The dance ended up being a success; everyone behaved accordingly and most importantly, had fun. The school should reevaluate their morals and value before they start pointing their fingers at students and blowing things out of proportion.
This article is completely biased. I am also an Oakland Catholic graduate. I never attended “anti-prom” because for the girls in my graduating class it was an excuse to wear revealing dresses, drink and dance with their dates in extremely suggestive and provocative ways. This whole ordeal has been blown out of proportion since I was in high school. I went to the regular prom and had a fun time with my good friends, which is what prom is all about.
If you want a public school prom, then go to a public school.
Hey Liz,
Priests are required to be celibate, not parishioners.
Most places in the world offer discounts to couples. It’s the way of the world.
Once they have graduated and are adults, the students can go dance at Club Diesel and dress in whatever provocative ways they want. But while they are still students and they are attending a school sponsored event, then the school has the right to set the rules. And as they are not adults, then some would say that the private school has the DUTY to set the rules and a good example.
Do you think it is a good example to set to students who are only months away from being legally adults that people don’t do overtly sexual behaviors on the dance floor?
I have danced on every dance floor in Allegheny county. There are classy women on each of these dance floors and there are nasty women on each of these dance floors. These distinctions are taught primarily by the family. They are also taught at schools. Private schools take this part of their mission more seriously than public schools.
OC isn’t saying “no” to dating. “Be fruitful and multiply” is the unofficial Catholic church motto. They are just trying to teach a higher standard than the average standard out there.
Good luck to OC. It’s an uphill battle…
This has absolutely NOTHING to do with drinking, sex or drugs! The “anti-prom” was started simply because no one wanted to waste money to be sitting down at a table all night. We all loved OC but the dances were terrible, just admit it! Stop making excuses and saying that the girls who went to anti prom just wanted to drink and dance like “sluts.” This article is stating the facts about the current situation and how it’s getting out of hand. It’s in no way bashing the school. Maybe they should have thought twice about publishing on their website that they will take back college recommendation letters, RIDICULOUS. Instead of wasting their time trying to stop anti-prom, maybe they should work on a prom that the students will actually want to attend.
The school does not have the right to threaten or intimidate in ANY way shape or form those who exercise their First Amendment rights. It is illegal. School age “children” do not check their rights at the school door, nor does their age mean they are not entitled to the very same rights.
To echo other comments, the school will lose MONEY if attendance drops at the school sponsored prom (at which, it offers discounts on having a date), and is more concerned with its image than the success of its students. Instead of dictating morality, and forcing students into it-how about you trust them? I highly doubt they will make negative decisions on a large scale. See how the anti-proms have gone-then be happy and satisfied that your students lived what they have learned and acted in a manner befitting young men and women.
Hey Think For Yourself,
School students do not have nearly the same first amendment rights that adults have. This is not my opinion. This is a long established legal precedent. If you’d like to learn more about this issue, then google “Tinker v. Des Moines.”
Secondly…
A teacher writes a letter of recommendation for a student that says “This student has followed the school’s ideals.” The student then sends this letter to a college. The college is then relying on the school’s reputation and the teacher’s opinion.
What happens if the student then decides to act in ways that are counter to the school’s ideals? Does the teacher then have the right to write a follow up letter? Is the follow up letter allowed to rescind the original recommendation?
I attended Oakland Catholic High School for two months in my freshman year. I left that November, after battling severe depression. The school caused much grief for me, as I got very high entrance exam scores but was lumped in classes with my not-so-bright classmates. I was given a demerit for wearing blue shoelaces. Once, in class, my anxiety caused me to vomit uncontrollably, so I ran to the bathroom, and vomited on the floor.
A school administrator came in, shot me a scathing look, and said, “next time, make it to the toilet.”
what a cheery bunch…