On Sept. 8, the Gobblerito returned to my life after a long absence. I felt my heart palpitate and my mouth water. I tried to deny my feelings, but I couldn’t. I needed to get my hands around it. I needed to feel it on my lips.
I proudly declare to the world: I love the Gobblerito.
This local culinary behemoth is proof that colorless presentation and boring lines can be so damn beautiful. This babe makes beige-on-beige look like Pantone gold. How? Because it’s never what’s on the outside that makes one so lovely, it’s all the inner layers: the softness under the surface, the extras, and the surprises that really make one fall in love.
For a person who is generally into sophisticated fare, it’s surprising that I’m so infatuated with the Gobblerito. It’s not even my type! At first, it felt a little bit embarrassing to be so into this square. But the more I’m around it, year after year, the more I want to be around it.
What’s so special about Mad Mex’s Gobblerito? It’s hard to explain. Each ingredient is just ok on its own, but together, it’s a kaleidoscope of delicious magnificence.
Let’s start with the turkey. Without it, there would be no “Gobbler” in this burrito. The flavor is Butterball quality, with a texture that recalls a moister version of school cafeteria hot turkey. I don’t know what kind of magic they do to this meat; it’s nostalgic yet juicy and tender.
Next, let’s talk about the softness and saltiness of the potatoes, the glue that keeps everything together. They’re light and fluffy. And there’s just the right amount of them — enough to keep my Irish soul happy but not too much where the potatoes overwhelm the dish. They’re perfectly portioned.
Also working hard to keep this burrito balanced is the layer of stuffing. It may taste a bit more like Stove Top than Martha Stewart, but who doesn’t love Stove Top from time to time? This stuffing, whether it’s homemade or boxed, brings the sass to this dish. And I love me some sass.
Then come the surprises: a random sprinkling of canned corn and black beans. These little tidbits bridge the gap between Halloween and Christmas, Mexican-style food and Thanksgiving. As van Gogh once said, “Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.”
To crown this king, Mad Mex offers up sides of turkey gravy and cranberry sauce. The only problem is that I never seem to get enough. So I always order extra to smother my beautiful burrito in love.
What is the cost of my love for the Gobblerito, aside from the fact that it will, in fact, leave me at the end of the season? The calories.
According to the nutrition data on the MyFitnessPal app (though I can’t definitively prove the accuracy of these numbers), one full serving of the Gobblerito packs in about 1,490 calories, with approximately 61g of fat, 195g of carbohydrates, and 49g of sugar. On the plus side, it offers 50g of protein and 14g of fiber. All relationships are about give and take. Am I right?
From a practical standpoint, because this hunk is large and in charge — both in portion size and calories — it might be best approached as a shareable meal. I understand that I’m not the only one who loves the Gobblerito, and I can live with that.
I’ve already gobbled my Gobblerito this year, and I went back for seconds. But the best way to justify my lust for this seasonal treat is by treading at least 10,000 steps, taking the stairs, lifting heavy things, and, on occasion, sharing with my partner.
Each year, as Thanksgiving season comes to an end, and I must bid adieu to the Gobblerito, I remind myself of this line from the Sex and the City movie: “Some love stories aren’t epic novels. Some are short stories. But that doesn’t make them any less filled with love.”
This article appears in Nov. 12-18, 2025.
