This Just In: October 7 - 14 | This Just In | Pittsburgh | Pittsburgh City Paper

This Just In: October 7 - 14

Tube-Steak Boogie

Summary: A man gives new meaning to the phrase "meat packing." Reporter: Mary Robb Jackson, KDKA Channel 2 Airtime: 2 minutes, 10 seconds on Sept. 28 Highlights: * When anchor Stacy Smith announces, "Proof that shoplifting is taken very seriously at Friedman's Fresh Market in Butler. When one man allegedly tried to steal some high-priced beef, store employees stood up and confronted him." * When Jackson states, "Saturday afternoon, [this man] ... strolled casually into Friedman's. ... According to police he had a hankering for a steak." * When she continues, "Sauntering past the meat cooler, he must have missed the 'no shoplifting' sign at eye level. [He] allegedly scooped up a few prime cuts." * When the store's female co-manager recounts, "So I went into the slop room and I noticed that the gentleman had the steaks and he put 'em down his pants." * When Jackson adds, "To be exact, four Delmonico steaks, one Bob Evans rolled sausage and a packet of disposable razors. Thirty-three dollars, 88 cents worth. But when [he] tried to bolt, the mother of five and grandmother of six didn't hesitate. She and her co-manager took [him] down outside the office. Police arrived in five minutes. [He] kept kicking until they put the cuffs on. Then he gave them a bogus name. It turns out he's wanted on a domestic-relations warrant. Officers also say he was wearing no undies." * When the female co-manager says, "You can ask for help. There's plenty of help in the world. Even I would have helped him if he needed that." (Even if he asked for underwear?) * When Jackson ends, "[He] is becoming familiar with another kind of cooler, now, here at the Butler County Prison, where he's being held on charges of giving false identification, robbery and receiving stolen goods." Unanswered Question: Is a man who stuffs meat down his underwear-less pants really a gentleman? What We Learned: Times are tough, but your meat doesn't have to be! News Value: 6. Seriously, times are challenging when people are stealing food. In the meantime, I've been paying a lot of attention to the adjective "gentleman" on the local news. For example, recently, I heard a woman say, on the news, something to the effect of, "The two gentlemen then proceeded to beat her," or, "The gentleman then urinated in public." People, you're just too kind.

The 2024 Pittsburgh Dyke March
24 images

The 2024 Pittsburgh Dyke March

By Mars Johnson