This Just In: January 13 - 20 | This Just In | Pittsburgh | Pittsburgh City Paper

This Just In: January 13 - 20

Gimme All Your Lovin' -- And Everything Else!

Summary: A laid-back scofflaw is accused of breaking into a home. Reporter: Mary Robb Jackson, KDKA Channel 2 Airtime: 1 minute, 57 seconds on Jan. 3 Highlights: * When anchor Stacy Smith announces, "Well, apparently, crime can be tiring. Police say that a man accused of breaking into a home fell asleep before he could get away." * When Jackson says, grinning, "Well, Madison Dosch is charged with criminal trespass, possession of a controlled substance and criminal mischief. And if you recall the story of 'The Three Bears,' well -- you'll see." * When we see a mug shot of the suspect, who looks like he could be the fourth member of ZZ Top, what with his long beard and (no doubt cheap) sunglasses. * When Jackson recounts, "For Madison Ray Dosch, New Year's Day did not go as planned. The 63-year-old man from McGrann, Armstrong County, is accused of breaking into this house on Water Street in Manorville at some point after he was thrown out of a local bar on New Year's Eve." * When Jackson elaborates, "State police say he found this axe outside, using it to shatter glass in the front door. He then allegedly ransacked the place, pulling out drawers, dumping contents on the floor, scattering ammo, removing weapons from a cabinet, and damaging the bathroom medicine-chest door. He also pulled equipment from a shed, leaving it in the backyard." * When Jackson treats us to the best part of the story: "And [he] helped himself to the fridge, drinking a gallon of juice, and defrosting a couple of 2-pound bags of French fries. Then, like Goldilocks, he fell asleep on this living-room couch." * She continues, "The home's owner, out of town for the holidays, had asked a neighbor to check his place. At 8 a.m., the startled neighbor, finding Dosch sleeping, yelled, 'Who are you?' Dosch calmly held out his hand to shake and answered, 'Madison Dosch.' Arriving troopers got much the same reception. Dosch was arrested, leaving behind a shirt, as well as his guitar and sunglasses." * When Jackson ends, "Now, police did find a small amount of marijuana and other drug paraphernalia in Madison Dosch's possession. He apparently has a long history of drug problems. Dosch remains in the Armstrong County Jail." What We Learned: Even a hungry criminal can be foiled by the carbohydrate coma! Unanswered Question: Why can't everyone be so civil when they destroy your home? News Value: 3. Entertainment Value: 10. Let's remember, Madison Dosch is innocent until proven guilty. But things aren't looking good -- not when you apparently leave behind evidence like a guitar and a T-shirt that reads, "Chicks Love Me."