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Myron Cope: To Infinity And Beyond!


I wanted to be a scientist when I grew up. Don't ask me to specify which science. I just knew "scientist" sounded like a pretty cool job. Plus, there was always the hope I would some day get accidentally bombarded by gamma radiation. Then came calculus and I quickly realized "scientist" might not be my intended career path after all.

I still admire what they do. When I was at Carnegie Mellon, I was always eager to hear about their advancements in robotics and artificial intelligence. When our evil metallic overlords rise up to enslave us all, you can safely direct a large amount of the blame toward that fine institution. I also enjoyed hearing about how their robotic creations were used to find and explore strange new worlds, seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before ...

Of course, some scientists do their exploring the old-fashioned way. They use a big-ass telescope. Recently, a Dr. Eric Mamajek, clearly a man of high moral character and good taste in an oasis of Massholes, peeked through his big-ass telescope and saw something between Mars and Jupiter. They call it a "minor planet" although that sounds like calling something a "minor groin pull." Ain't nothing minor about either one.

The International Astronomical Union, an organization which no doubt purchases pocket protectors in bulk, has officially named it 7835 Myroncope.

Yes, Myron Cope has a freakin' planet named after him. A minor planet, but a planet nonetheless. No word yet on whether they plan to send a space probe over to plant a Terrible Towel in the soil. But they should.

Hands off Rafah protest in East Liberty
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Hands off Rafah protest in East Liberty

By Mars Johnson