I’m sick of being on the road with yinz. Pittsburgh drivers writ large have obviously lost the plot.
Things have definitely gotten worse since COVID, as I’ve written, though driving here has never been a cakewalk. Overconfident locals mixed with lost out-of-towners mixed with our weird geography and absurd merge points make driving in the ’Burgh the equivalent of double-black-diamond skiing. As viral urbanism satirist Cities by Diana recently observed, it leads to a special kind of harrowing gridlock and aggression.
One thing actually surprised me in writing this month’s column: PennDOT has a wide array of up-to-date traffic law resources on, of all places, their media center, including helpful graphics and other specifics on how to not drive like an asshole (my words). I’ve assembled some of them below. Respectfully, some of you could clearly use a refresher!
Moving on, a couple things stand out to me about local driving.
Yinz got lead feet: Driving is incredibly fun. I once went 120 mph on the Bavarian Autobahn, and it was a rush even the Phantom’s Revenge can’t provide. But that shit is not safe for most people in most cars. It’s especially not safe on shoulderless four-lane roads such as Pa. Route 28.
Speeding within reason can be fine! I’m not saying go 30 in a 45. But your big boy truck doesn’t give you carte blanche to go 90 and tailgate people when there’s heavy traffic with frequent onramps and little room for error. Also, when turning, pull all the way out into the intersection and slow down! So many Pittsburghers love to gas their way through shallow left turns, which puts pedestrians and opposing traffic in the firing line.
Yinz don’t share: Some Pittsburgh drivers seem fundamentally unwilling to let people merge, cross the street, or ride bicycles in traffic. Just ask the 10+ people who have called me “bitch” or worse for daring to cycle down Smallman St. — and I stop at reds! This is a major city with numerous pedestrians, bus riders, cyclists, skaters, wheelchair users, and others who have every right to get where they’re going in a timely and safe manner.
There’s also our terrible parking habits and constant rolling of stop signs, which make life as a pedestrian annoying at best. Part of the problem here is…
Yinz ain’t payin’ attention: Besides the inexplicable bike hate, some of you are clearly distracted. I see people texting, applying makeup, FaceTiming, messing with iPads for their kids, and eating snacks behind the wheel regularly here, often at speed on the parkway. It also drives me into a rage to see people’s phones appear at red lights and then watch the driver drool through the green until someone honks.
That’s also saying nothing about the many obvious incidences of drunk driving I’ve personally witnessed in Pittsburgh. Stop! Put it down! It can wait! Distracted and intoxicated driving is super dangerous, especially for pedestrians and cyclists.
Now, it’s not completely fair to put all of this on drivers as individuals. Automakers and electronics manufacturers have a role to play, and, yes, some cyclists do break the law, although motorists do so more frequently. Law enforcement has also made far fewer traffic stops in recent years, perhaps giving some local drivers a sense of impunity.
One proposal here: automate parts of Allegheny County traffic enforcement and ticket aggressively.
Stick speed cameras on Bigelow, 28, West Carson, really anywhere people want to play Grand Theft Auto in real life, and then mail people the bill. Hike parking fines and tickets for blocking loading zones and bike lanes and actually enforce them. Make drivers obey bicycle safety laws, whether with increased patrols or physical barriers, and give people stiff fines for blocking bike lanes. And definitely don’t make it harder for bicyclists to use our legal share of the road (are you listening, Pa. Supreme Court?).
In a perfect world, I’d even love this kind of traffic enforcement completely decoupled from criminal justice. Why not create a separate agency that only deals with traffic? You could then plow that ticket money right back into public works.
While they’re controversial, the city’s forthcoming red light cameras are at least a gesture in this direction. Pittsburghers love pretending red lights are “orange,” and 337 other cities have rolled these out to varying effect. Time will tell if the system works well and equitably. Hopefully it scares at least a few yinzers straight.
But something’s gotta give. How nice would it be to drive down Bigelow at a calm 42 mph past children playing in the now-safe-to-access Frank Curto park? Motorists zipper-merge evenly under Frankie Pace Park on their way to a Penguins game. Bicyclists use a separate overpass on their way to Downtown’s parking-protected lanes. Cars drive from a boulevardized Pa. Route 65 past expanded T service.
Sigh — yeah, right. In the meantime, can yinz just try slowin’ dahn? People are dying in record numbers, and it’s way more important to address that before we get into things like rail, water taxis, and cable cars…
This article appears in Oct 16-22, 2024.
