So, you know how to navigate a cookie table and a zipper merge on a bridge, and you think that makes you a real Pittsburgher.
Well, I’ve got news for you — it’s much easier than that. You don’t even have to live here for long (or at all). Dropped out of Carnegie Mellon after a semester? You’re a Pittsburgher. You Accidentally got a French fry on your sandwich and ate it? Pittsburgher. Have really strong opinions about Hines Ward’s Hall of Fame chances? Well, you’re basically a Pittsburgher.
The point is, you don’t have to do much, and Pittsburgh will claim you as one of their own. It’s permanent, too. You pretty much have to leave and then play for the Ravens to get your Pittsburgh card revoked.
However, you can also be born here, live here for decades, and really not know the place. It’s not your fault; as you may have noticed, it’s laid out kind of weird, and is a bit of a struggle to navigate, even with GPS and Google Maps (cheating).
I’ve lived here a long time, and made a living writing about the place for 20+ years, and I still have no clue where Woods Run, West Liberty, or Oakwood are. Best I can do is point you in a general direction, tell you which side of the river(s) it’s on, and send you packing with a classic “You can’t get there from here.” Which is how a true Pittsburgher gives directions when they don’t really know, either.
For sale: 1709 Buena Vista St., California-Kirkbride, $260,000.
This beautiful brick rowhouse from 1890 is very close to the Mexican War Streets, which is apparently enough of a selling point to put in the Zillow listing, but not enough to actually charge Mexican War Streets prices (which would be triple, most likely). California-Kirkbride seems like it should be, I don’t know, a little California-y (give me a beach at least), but it’s not the most ridiculous subversion of expectations around here. I mean, you could look for the Palace of Versailles behind the North Versailles Walmart, for instance…
For rent: 5 Marchmont St., Ingram, $1,475/month.
No idea what goes on in Ingram, but it seems to share some space with Crafton, which is known for inexpensive, beautiful 100-year-old homes, and Bill Cowher — not necessarily in that order. For such a densely populated area, it’s not super walkable, and driving isn’t fun here either. However, it’s fairly quiet, and you can get a lot of house for not a lot of money.
For sale: 16 Watson Blvd., Woods Run, $239,900.
I probably don’t need to say this for the 10 millionth time, but can you imagine what a historic (1900) house like this would cost if it were in the East End, or even the flatter, Downtown-adjacent parts of the North Side? This place is between Woods Run and Perry North — what goes on here? I have no idea, but if there are brick four-squares this pristine place— with vast porches, hardwood floors, and recent paint — then it belongs on someone’s map.
For rent: 948 Mountain Ave., Fl. 2. St. Clair, $814.
$814 is such a specific number. Why not $815, or $850? We shouldn’t be picky at this price point, but that seems odd. Also, St. Clair bears little resemblance to Upper St. Clair — the expensive South Hills suburb — but evinces a fair amount of resemblance to nearby Hilltop enclaves Arlington and Mt. Oliver.
For sale: 1937 Plainview Ave., West Liberty, $249,000.
I have never actually heard anyone refer to West Liberty for any reason, but the map says it’s a place, and it’s next to Brookline, which is my favorite walkable, affordable South Hills neighborhood, so that’s something to go on. That’s an underrepresented hue of blue among Pittsburgh houses, and there’s not much of the circa-1900 interior left intact, it’s bright and clean and kind of a blank slate, if that’s what you need.
For rent: 2330-2340 Candace St., West Liberty, $749/month.
Maybe this place is so inexpensive because no one can find it? Or, because it’s 400 square feet (yeah, that’s probably it). This location is close enough to Brookline’s super useful main business district (which offers a diverse, mini-Strip District of grocery options), to merit a Very Walkable (77/100) designation from Walk Score, and those people are pretty stingy.
This article appears in Sep 3-9, 2025.
