A small red brick cottage-style house with white trim and a small centered chimney — 21 Garden Terrace Credit: Photo courtesy of Zillow

Yeah, I know that things are bleak now. This summer has been a howling abyss of intersecting catastrophes, with the very air itself frantically trying to flush itself clean from the stench of onrushing doom. And the light at the end of the tunnel is most likely a Norfolk Southern train full of fracking chemicals and failure.

I’m talking, of course, about the Pittsburgh Pirates. I mean, what else could I possibly be worried about?

Uh, so, moving on… The latest interesting data to cross my desk (more of a bed, really) was this from ConsumerAffairs, The Journal of Consumer Research, which analyzed year-over-year median sale prices across 180 U.S. metros, and found that “several Pennsylvania cities rank among the top for appreciation.” Yes, that includes Pittsburgh, where home prices increased 6.7% from April 2024 to April 2025.

So, the party is clearly over for much of the country, with even the most red-hot markets (Austin, everywhere in Florida) dropping like errant fly balls in front of Oneil Cruz. You know what that means (if you don’t, I envy you): recession! I mean, it’s not a direct correlation, but it’s also probably nothing good. Cheaper housing is great if you want to buy, and terrible if you’re betting on robust appreciation to make up for the absence of a pension, savings, social security remaining solvent, etc.

Yes, Pittsburgh is still quite affordable in comparison to, well, most major metros in the U.S. But if that kind of appreciation keeps up — and it likely won’t, but stranger things have happened — then it won’t be long until we’ve closed the gap.

A modernist brick and concrete apartment building with a cartoonish Bacchus face on the façade — 1036 S. Braddock Ave. Credit: Photo courtesy of Zillow

For rent: 1036 S. Braddock Ave., Apt. 2. $1,000/month. Regent Square.

I knew this day would arrive, but I was not prepared for it to be today. You can now rent an apartment in the house with the weird face on it in Regent Square. It’s supposed to be a curly-bearded Greek deity of some renown, and he used to spit water into a small fountain, though that dried up at some point (which would never happen to Neptune). Yes, people treat South Braddock like a Formula 1 track, which is loud, annoying and constant — but just look at that face. You can’t look away.

A vinyl-sided rowhome with an off-center dormer — 1313 Lowrie St. Credit: Photo courtesy of Zillow

For sale: 1313 Lowrie St., $209,000. Troy Hill.

Oh, this is simply wonderful. I love to unnecessarily anthropomorphize Pittsburgh houses, and this one is a true mutant with three eyes and two mouths, both of which appear to be screaming at us. I’m not sure why this circa-1900 single-family rowhouse needs two doors next to each other, but I’m easily amused, and the price is great (it even just dropped $6,000).

A brick apartment building with tall windows and a large shake-shingle roof — 3831 Hiawatha St. Credit: Photo courtesy of Zillow

For rent: 3831 Hiawatha St., $1,175. Brighton Heights.

So, I’m the last guy to endorse a “Keep Pittsburgh Shitty” campaign, because I’ve already lived through enough economic doldrums for one lifetime. However… I am considering starting a rumor that Brighton Heights is seated above a hellmouth of negative energy (manifested as ghosts, poltergeists, Bob Nutting, etc.), just so these 1990s prices hang on a little longer. I’m not proud of this, but it must be done. The creepy basement is helping me make the case. Beware!

For sale: 21 Garden Terrace, $239,900. Churchill.

I don’t know much about Churchill, but this house is lovely and features a lot of good things that began to drop from the suburban form (a porch, for example) by the 1940s. It reminds me of the sturdy simplicity of my grandparents’ place, which my grandpa built by hand. The street doesn’t have sidewalks, though, which is unfortunate. The house does have an above-ground pool and a shed — oh yeah, we’re living the suburban dream in Churchill.

An apartment with paneled walls and a covered-over fireplace — The interior of 1505 Claim St. #1 Credit: Photo courtesy of Zillow

For rent: 1505 Claim St., #1, $775/month, Troy Hill.

When searching for houses to buy, you get golden-hued portraits taken at the height of spring, enveloped in a garden of lush greenery. For rentals, it’s like — oh, here’s a wall. Yeah, we’ve got a few of those. Uh, here’s some cabinets. What else? A bricked-in fireplace? Some floors… you need those, right? Oh, and a light switch; we have several.

A small house with an off-center gable and neatly trimmed hedges — 7503 Susquehanna St. Credit: Photo courtesy of Zillow

For sale: 7503 Susquehanna St., $235,000. Homewood.

A week after I said that the South Side is actually fine and just gets bad press, it spent the July 4 weekend throwing fireworks at cops and other assorted mayhem. So, I’m not going to make any claims about Homewood. However, this is a house that was built in 2012, which counts as (rare) new construction for Pittsburgh, in a place that hasn’t seen much of it. This home has a neo-traditional design with classic dimensions, which is better than the upturned-shipping-container look that we often get these days.