THE FAMILY STONE

When Everett Stone (Dermot Mulroney) brings his uptight girlfriend (Sarah Jessica Parker) home for the holidays, his large and proudly unconventional family treats her shabbily. This is the unpleasant nut at the center of what purports to be an affirming holiday treat; the meanness exhibited by the otherwise warm and caring Stones is just one of several sour tastes in Thomas Bezucha's film, which mixes slapstick and pathos with little regard for flow. The tale trots out familiar heartwarming scenarios (booze-up at dive bar; kitchen mishap) and characters: Diane Keaton is the wacky mom; Luke Wilson, the family stoner. Tyrone Giordana plays the PC-triple-threat sibling: He's deaf, gay and dating a man of color! Trouble is, nobody's particularly likable, and after yanking us from pratfall to meltdown, Bezucha wraps everything up with a big bow marked "convenient." Send the Stones a card, but you'll be glad you didn't stop by. (AH)