In the spirit of the holiday season, Pittsburgh City Paper presents a holiday movie advent calendar. One holiday movie review, every day 'til Christmas (probably).
It seems as though the writers for Life-Size 2: A Christmas Eve copy-and-pasted the script from the first movie, modernized the writing, changed the plot, and then called it a day. If you’ve never seen the original, the sequel is funny in a bad movie way. If you have seen it, this one is tough to sit through.
Grace (Francia Raisa) is a young party girl who is now CEO of Marathon Toys because her mother, the former CEO, is in jail. Due to Grace’s blackout drunk lifestyle, the company’s stocks start to plummet. To fix this, she approves a decision to stop the production of Eve, a Barbie-like doll her mother created.
Lex (Alison Fernandez), a little girl Grace hangs out with (??), tells her to ask Eve for help. Don’t cancel Eve! Eve can help even when you don’t know what to do, Lex says. They can use Grace’s mom’s magic book to summon the doll to life. Grace doesn’t believe in magic but entertains Lex, and together they perform a spell to animate Eve. Little does Grace know, magic is real.
The next day, Grace wakes up with Eve (Tyra Banks) in her bed. The doll has come to life! But Grace just thinks Eve is a drunk hookup from the night before. Thus begins the series of double entendres (because Eve is so naive and this is the grown-up version of Life-Size) and crazy, occurrences taken from the first movie (Eve drinking butter, Eve not being able to type, Eve going on a shopping spree, etc).
The acting is sub-par and exaggerated. There’s a weird amount of rap in the soundtrack that is juxtaposed with magical, girly themes. In the end, Tyra raps a remix of “Shine Bright,” Eve’s theme song, which was extremely hard to watch. My friend – who recently watched the original Life-Size – kept asking if we could turn it off. She hated it. My other friend, who has never seen the original, was laughing the entire time. “I love Tyra!” she was able to squeeze out through tears of enjoyment.
Maybe all the stolen jokes from the first Life-Size were meant to establish nostalgia with the viewer. But it came across as laziness on the writer’s part. Life-Size 2: A Christmas Eve gets two crowns down.
Comment from friends during the movie:
“If anyone else flosses, I’m gonna lose it!”
“This is fucking awful I’m confused why they’re trying to make her Cardi B!?”
“All Eve’s clothes are from Dollskill! Do you think Dollskill sponsored her because she’s a doll?”
Life-Size 2: A Christmas Eve is now available on Freeform and Hulu.