I groaned when I heard it was Mariah Carey night. I'm not sure I know one of her songs, even though apparently she has racked up more No. 1 songs than Elvis. And anything I have heard -- most probably on American Idol -- are the sort of soft-to-bombast formulaic pop songs I can't stand and thus, have little authority to judge.

And, if the judges bleat mightily every time some contestant tries to do a song by Mariah (or her sisters-in-power-ballads Whitney or Celine), why organize an all-Mariah night?

Well, it wasn't a total disaster, though I found it incredibly dull. I only recognized two songs -- "Hero" and "Without You," which got filed under "Mariah song" by the show as if Nilsson never wrote it or had a major hit with it back when Miss Mimi was crawling around in diapers.

Not knowing the songs made it tough to judge these performances – like I said, all these sorts of songs sound the same to me.

Poor Carly – somehow she just can't get it right. "Without You" is pure guilty-pleasure cheese, but you gotta sell the anguish to make it tasty, and she just couldn't.

The very presence of Brooke continues to grate, so there was no hope for me and the Stepford Folkie. Plus any grown woman who actually sticks out her lower lip in an exaggerated pout when receiving criticism will never get my vote.

In a charitable mood, I must say, all the women looked nice last night, all prettied up.

Randy called it: The "boys" brought it to the "girl" songs, though far be it from me to categorize pop pabulum by gender.

Once again David Cook went kooky, and I guess it worked. I liked the end of the song best, and wonder if the whole tune couldn't have been delivered full-throttle, rather than sticking to the formula of quiet-quiet-bridge-blast-off.

Paula never said a truer word when she declared that Cook's version "could be on a movie soundtrack." That's exactly the kind of music I hear all day long in my other capacity as film reviewer.

But if Cook's singing didn't nail him a spot in next week's show, then his post-judging tears did. Mister Hard Rocker has an embarrassed sensitive side? Awwwwww.

Waving bye-bye tonight? Odds favor Carly or Syesha. I think the boys are safe, especially since we've already netted this season's Shocker Exit.