Tuesday, February 13, 2018
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Gus is the mascot for the Pennsylvania Lottery. He looks like every fifty-something dad at Giant Eagle that's on his cell to determine what correct butter to buy. Newsflash: Nobody wants your scratch-offs, Gus. Why do you keep showing up at our family functions? Were you just sitting in the rafters to whip out your Gus Bucks? Go dig a hole. A deep one.
The Nittany Lion, the official mascot for Penn State University, has black, soulless eyes that stare into the souls of his enemies. Now I'm getting war flashbacks to childhood and the eye-buttons in Coraline. Also, could Mr. Nittany please eat a sandwich? One would think a lion would have a little more padding on his bones.