Western Pennsylvania's own Rick Santorum returns to the fray! We're a bit giddy, our thoughts a swirl of Rick's sweater vests, ancestral coal-dust stories and quotable bon mots (who can forget 2003's keeper: "man on dog"). Remember our zombie Rick Santorum cover last time around?

Stay tuned to City Paper for updates to the Magnetic Chart of 2016 Primary Awesomeness, as well as upcoming coverage of Election 2016.