One of the joys of working for a newspaper is receiving phone calls and letters from people who carry within them a body of secret knowledge. And one of the sorrows of working for a newspaper is not having a chance to share their messages with the wider world ... a world that, in too many cases, is sheltered from Certain Awful Realities that our correspondents alone have divined. Over the years, we've received countless missives from people warning about alien mind control, the dangers of "chemtrails" or simply a new, profitable way to raise bullfrogs. Often these letters, e-mails, or phone calls, are sent by media outlets across the country, but apparently the media doesn't see them as fit to share ... a fact which itself becomes part of many conspiracy theories.

Thus we introduce a new occasional feature here on blogh: "You Can't HANDLE the Truth." We'll be sharing some of the insights that our correspondents have vouchsafed with us ... in hopes of shining a light unto the darkness, before that darkness consumes us all.

Our first entry comes to us by way of — you guessed it! — Utah.

As far as we can tell, it concerns HAARP, an experimental military technology that is said to be capable of controlling everything from the weather to the thoughts inside your head. But reading between the lines, the conspiracy may extend far beyond what even the most suspicious could imagine: Provocatively enough, the letter concludes by suggesting that Sherman Hemsley, the star of The Jeffersons, may somehow have been a victim of the web of secrecy.

Read carefully, and come to your own conclusions. (You'll note the letter has been changed slightly, in order to remove potentially identifying information about the correspondent. Or at least, that's what I'm claiming was removed ...)