It's Wednesday, and therefore time again for The Suburban Beat, a look at the weird stuff that finds its way to the police blotters of our local Patch sites.

In Beechview this week, we saw the theft of a car door. From off of the car. Not the rest of the car. Just the door. And it was a rough week for Dormont's Vincent Fiumura and Ashlee Kara, who managed to hit the blotter twice in a matter of four days on disorderly conduct charges, once for fighting and using abusive language toward officers, then for ... sleeping in a car in the middle of the street.

Edgewood wins this award for weirdest blotter this week, with — in addition to a nearby grill setting off a smoke alarm at the library, and the classic bat-in-the-bedroom call — this gem:

A female patron of Super Nails came unglued on Aug. 17 after expressing dissatisfaction with her nail and destroyed the inside of the South Braddock Avenue salon, breaking multiple items, according to a police report.

Also, feeling for the resident of East Hutchinson whose unlocked car was rifled through, but nothing was stolen. That'll keep you grounded: Your doors are unlocked, someone went to the trouble to actually get into your car, but still they don't think anything you have it worth stealing.

The Robinson-Moon Patch reports on the best name AND best crime this week in noting that an Augustus Festus Brown, in addition to facing drug charges, stands accused of stealing electricity from a neighbor's house using an extension cord.

And in Sewickley, home to many animals, calls included an injured rabbit in the middle of the road. ("Police checked the area and the rabbit was gone," the story ends.)