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Trump, even before taking the oath, threatening allies with military action. Amazing. Or not. Says he won’t rule out using force to take Greenland from Denmark, put the screws to Canada to force them to become a state and rename the Gulf of Mexico to Gulf of America, which actually makes some sense. Other than that, topics include historical tidbits like most American families didn’t own forks or spoons in the 18th century. They ate with their hands. Also, historians have spoken: Betsy Ross did not invent the American flag.

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