Dear Santa,

We, the Pittsburgh City Paper staff, have made a list, please check it twice. We love this town, but it could be improved by a few things that are naughty, and a few that are nice:

Riverboat Casinos

The city needs revenue. We have rivers. Let’s unlock a new way to pull in some coin … with a side of debauchery. Though, a floating casino is not really new to us, since we had some raucous riverboats in the past. But imagine if the Commonwealth loosened up the laws to allow floating casinos like Mississippi, Iowa, and Illinois so we could have some riverboat fun here in the ‘Burgh. It’s not that I’m even a gambler myself, but I do love some good entertainment, and the idea of more revenue without raising taxes.

-Stacy Rounds

Well-funded public transit

After a frustrating budget impasse nearly brought Pennsylvania’s urban transit systems to their knees, and ongoing maintenance has seen the T and Monongahela Incline operate in fits and starts, all I want for Christmas is sustainable funding for Pittsburgh Regional Transit. As one commenter recently noted, this is a public health issue. Please, Pa. Senate — I mean, Santa — fund the buses and trains!

-Colin Williams

Good tidings for your favorite local spots

This year, we learned “K” is a crappy shape for an economy and saw local places from restaurants and our longstanding jazz bar to arts and cultural institutions to our friendly overgrowth-clearing goat herd ask for some extra help to stay afloat. I know Santa’s no financial expert — though, appropriately enough for this woke Commie rag, when I was growing up, it was an edgy joke to say, ‘hey, look at that jolly man in red who redistributes wealth’ — but he could afford to spread around some extra cheer this Christmas. (If you can, too, please do.) It’s the local places that make Pittsburgh special, and they deserve some holiday magic.

-Rachel Wilkinson

Beer and wine at Trader Joe’s

Yeah, yeah, I know Pennsylvania is weird about selling alcohol in grocery stores, but Giant Eagle figured it out. Whole Foods figured it out. Now, it’s time for Santa to call up whatever Trader Joe’s regional manager he needs to speak with and say “Figure it out!” I don’t want our local Trader Joe’s locations to stock beer and wine for the Two Buck Chuck. Oh no. In case you haven’t been to a TJ’s in another, more chill state, there are aisles of beer and wine that are perfectly acceptable and drinkable at what feel like clearance rack prices. We’re talking like extremely decent cabernets for like 6 bucks — and several of them to choose from. Please, TJ’s, we need this here in Pittsburgh. Figure it out!

-Ali Trachta

A break from construction

This year, it felt like multiple marquee projects, preparation for the NFL Draft, gas line replacement, and deferred maintenance have seen city streets torn up and resurfaced in an endless doom loop. Combined with distracted drivers and MIA snow plows, driving arahnd tahn can get downright kafkaesque these days. I’d give my two front teeth for some calm roads and smooth pavement in 2026. And if you must jackhammer my street again, maybe throw down some speed humps while you’re at it.

-C.W.

24-hour coffee shop or 24-hour anything

I bang this drum whenever a Pittsburgh wish list comes around, but, hey, no one understands working around the clock like Santa. A late-night coffee shop has been a pie-in-the-sky dream of mine for well over a decade, but before the pandemic put the nail in the coffin for 24-hour business, we used to have all-night diners like Ritter’s, Gullifty’s, and dare I say the 24-hour Eat’n Park in Squirrel Hill (in case mom wanted a cream pie at 1:30 in the morning). This year, even the formerly 24-hour Murray Avenue Rite Aid closed (who knew Squirrel Hill was such a late-night destination?) which was an odd night owl security blanket for me. Santa, we don’t have to bring back everything all at once, but I submit this modest request: just one all-night Pittsburgh coffee shop — I’m thinking in Oakland — that’ll serve students, hospital workers, and sleep-disordered weirdos like me. Nightlife is part of a vibrant city, after all.

-R.W.

A Pittsburgh Sheetz

In the realm of wish fulfillment, we’ve been asking Santa for a Sheetz within city limits for years, and, supposedly, he and Sheetz corporate are delivering in 2026. We’ve been through the tribulations (Oakland Sheetz hoax, anyone?), and now we’re being rewarded with MTO mozzarella sticks, sandwiches, and shnack wraps at a forthcoming location on Banksville Road (is too much to hope for 24/7?) I can only imagine what shenanigans might accompany the grand opening, with live music and slicing subs with chainsaws already on Sheetz’s books this year. But never say we can’t manifest things.

-R.W.

Affordable housing

It’s practically a Christmas miracle that our fair city seems to be exiting a decades-long population slump. That said, we’re also rapidly leaving the atmosphere of affordability for working-class residents. While different camps have different views about how best to meet Pittsburgh’s changing needs, there’s broad agreement that we need more affordable housing ASAP. Maybe old Saint Nick can bring us some reasonably priced apartments and the missing middle this Christmas?

-C.W.

A true IMAX theater

Sick of the lies, sick of the scams. Avatar: Fire and Ash was just released for chrissakes. Accept no substitutes.

-R.W.

Wegmans

I know a new Wegmans store is coming to Cranberry, but I must whine, why can’t we have a Wegmans in Pittsburgh? From the amazing sandwiches and grab and go items, to the sauces and oils, to the fresh produce and hard to find items, to specials that knock the competition out of the game, not to mention their commitment to stocking regional favorites, they just hit all the right marks for a major grocery chain. The city has so many food deserts to fill. Can we please fill one with this affordable-adjacent grocer, please? Erie has two. They can spare one, right?

– S.R.

More snow plows. Period.

-S.R.