When I tell you that Ashton Kutcher and country crooner Taylor Swift are the most entertaining aspects of this unfunny, unromantic film, heed my words: They're simply the best of the worst. Swift plays a spastic Valley Girl-type teen, a role that at least spoofs her seemingly perfect public persona, and Kutcher gets his laughs in the end-credits blooper reel. Garry Marshall's ensemble rom-com tracks the romantic travails of a dozen or so interconnected Los Angelenos on Valentine's Day -- from TV sportscasters and grammar-school teachers to florists and insufferably precious lovelorn children. The previews pimp Julia Roberts (whom Marshall shot onto the A-list with Pretty Woman), but her role is small and not very funny or romantic. Ditto Day's other A-lister, Jamie Foxx. (Sensing a pattern?) Having watched many rom-coms over the years, I can assure you there is not one fresh moment in this film. If you have a sweetie in your life, take them to see something else: They'll love you for it.
