Straight female with a question about something I've never really told anyone about, because it's so weird and gross. After I have a bowel movement, I pull up my jeans. When I do that, the crotch seam presses on my clit as I begin to close the zipper, and I get what I can only describe as an intense mini-orgasm. This is directly related to the recent BM because it happens only after one. It's not really a full-on climax, rather just a dozen or so fast and strong fluttering contractions of pleasure right in my clit/pussy area. I find myself enjoying these post-poop-gasms, although it's something I've kept to myself. I want to know if you've ever heard of this, and why and how it happens.
Possibly Odd Or Perhaps Curious Orgasm Mostly Enjoyed Regularly
I shared your letter with Dr. Debby Herbenick, a research scientist at Indiana University, a sexual-health educator at the Kinsey Institute, and the author of Great in Bed and numerous books about sexuality.
Dr. Herbenick's short answer: "Genitals are magical, mysterious places of wonder."
Her more satisfying long answer: "There are other documented cases of people having orgasms while pooping. ‘Defecation-induced orgasms' seem to be more common than orgasms from peeing, but both kinds happen."
But why and how do they happen?
"It's not entirely clear, but here are some possibilities," said Dr. Herbenick. "The pelvic nerve — which is one orgasmic pathway — links up to not only the vagina and cervix, but also the rectum and bladder. Another possibility is something called nerve ‘crosstalk.' In essence, the genital and excretory parts are smooshed closely together, and some nerves (like the pelvic nerve) service more than one part. Thus, feelings and messages carried in the nerves can get muddled. Some people can have vaginal pain from bladder problems. Similarly, people describe genital orgasms from stimulation of nearby parts, and nerve crosstalk is thought to be part of that." (Want to shut up an "intelligent design" creationist? Ask them to defend the smooshing together of our excretory and reproductive systems — after making them Google "obstetric fistula.")
"POOPCOMER doesn't have to like the fact that she orgasms from pooping," said Dr. Herbenick, "but it's better than unintentionally pooping during orgasm. That also happens."
Follow Dr. Herbenick on Twitter @DebbyHerbenick.
You always take questions from BDSMers and cuckolds and other hardcore sexers, but won't you offer some advice for me, a simple heterosexual girl? My boyfriend always locks the door behind him when he pees. It hurts my feelings! Being a part of his pissing experience would turn me on! He claims he is pee-shy. But he pees in public restrooms in front of other men! So if he knows I like it, and the issue isn't about being pee-shy, why is he "NO GIRLS ALLOWED" about this?!?
Personally Insulted Since Sexy Entrance Denied
You're just a simple heterosexual girl who wants to be part of her boyfriend's "pissing experience" — nothing kinky about that, no sir. You're just after some old-fashioned, all-American voyeuristic piss play.
I'm not sure there's anything I could say that would persuade your boyfriend. If knowing that it would make his girlfriend insanely horny doesn't motivate a guy to unlock the door, he's unlikely to be convinced by some gay dude with an advice column. (Just in case: Hey, PISSED's BF! Open the damn door!) If watching your boyfriend piss is that important, you'll have to get a new boyfriend or start following this one into public restrooms.
My 13-year-old stepson leaves his spooch on the goddamn toilet seat. How do I tell him to clean up after himself? I don't know how he gets it on the toilet seat! Logistically, it baffles me!
Step-Parent Ain't Not Kleaning Spooch
That word you keep using — spooch — I don't think it means what you think it means. Spooch is not slang for ejaculate. The word you want is spooge. And I don't think your sign-off means what you think it means, either. Putting a "not" after that "ain't" means you're anxious to clean your stepson's spooge off that toilet seat.
On to your questions ...
Your stepson faces the toilet seat as he would when he pees and has himself a wank. He thinks he's destroying the evidence when he flushes, but he's obviously missing the drop or two that land on the toilet seat. Teenage boys are not famous for their attention to detail, or for cleaning up after themselves. Replacing your white toilet seat with a black one might help your stepson notice that flushing isn't enough.
Your stepson's father should have a talk with him. "You're making a mess of the toilet seat," his dad should say. "Put the seat up and wipe it off when you're through." If your stepson protests that he's careful when he pees, his dad should tell him that he's not talking about piss. That poor kid will be so mortified that he'll blow loads out the window before he masturbates in the bathroom again.
I'm a straight girl and I've been dating this great guy for a few months. Our sex life is really satisfying, due in no small part to the fact that he has a lot of kinks. He has a thing for scat, though, and that has thrown me for a loop. He doesn't expect me to engage in poop play, but I know he watches this kind of porn and it freaks me out. Would you break up with someone due to one extremely squicky kink?
So Not Into Poop
I would and I have.
NOTE: A copy editor has gleefully informed me that Urban Dictionary defines "spooch" as "semen" or "a man's climax." But while I have the utmost respect for the modern-day Samuel Johnsons at Urban Dictionary, I refuse to acknowledge "spooch" as a synonym for semen or the male climax.
On the Lovecast, Dan speaks with the Perverted Negress about meeting polite kinksters online: savagelovecast.com.